I need advice on what to do with this friends with benefits?

[Anonymous]

My friends with benefits said he doesn’t know when he’ll be free he said he’s in a crisis and it’s taking a lot of his time what should I do so I don’t lose him? by the way I have poor boundaries so there’s that too.

[Anonymous]

Maybe a friends with benefits situation is not healthy for you if boundaries are an issue. One of the cold realities of that situation is that it just doesn’t get to be your place to try “keeping” him as if he is someone you’re dating. No strings means exactly that, so if he decided tomorrow that he’s done, you can’t have a fit or be outwardly upset, which is very hard if you have gained feelings. You just accept it and move on, which you aren’t striking me as the sort of woman who is ok with that. Now if you are only settling for friends with benefits and you secretly want more with him, but settling for this arrangement just to keep him around in hopes that he will change his mind, then you are setting yourself up for a big heartbreak later on.

[Asker]

I mean we are platonic friends with benefits he says he has to work on himself to and says he if he goes down he doesn’t want me to go down with him

[Opinion Owner]

I see. Well I don’t want to invalidate what he has going on, because I’m sure he is struggling with some issues. But these are long term things. Working on himself takes time, and now he has this big issue going on that he doesn’t know when he will be available. I don't know if this is him trying to let you down easy or what, but you shouldn’t play the waiting game based off a hope that someday things will work. Trust me, I completely understand your position, because I’ve been there and it hurts a lot to let go. Especially after investing so much time and energy, you want it all to pay off. But when there is no silver lining, or anything feasible to keep you there, then sometimes you just have to shut that chapter and move on. Maybe you two will get a chance that actually works in the future, but you can’t twist him arm or try too hard to keep someone who is not trying to be kept. If he needs space, give him that. If he needs time, give him that. And live your life girl. Because you could be blocking someone really good entering your life.

[Anonymous]

He needs a break from you and this unhealthy practice is unsatisfactory to the soul. Therefore what you will find is he blows hot and cold, comes and goes. Both of you are fooling each other and have fallen for societies promotion of casual sex, lack of intimacy, fear of commitment and non accountability.

[Anonymous]

it’s simple you Suck his dick then you fuck him