Is he a sadist?

[whatagirl1]

I had a crush on a guy. We used to text a lot but I used to avoid him a lot in person. He would always look at me expecting a hi but I would always avoid. He started being very cold towards me in text. The guy tried to make me jealous with my friend by sitting next to her and avoiding me. We know each other from school but now we ignore each other. He stares at me with a sad look now. Sometimes with sharp gaze. Is he a sadist?

[Xhuy_006]

Are you still in hs? Do you even know what a sadist is? Jeez what is up with people? No obviously y'all are being children. Just approach the dude. Slap him, kiss him, make up idcr but jeez grow up. To answer you're question. No he is most definitely not a sadist. Look up the word. Please.

[whatagirl1]

Why is he behaving like this

[Xhuy_006]

Look it takes a while to develop healthy communication. But there has to be an attempt on both sides to learn what that is. there's a saying that says, "Petty is, as petty does." Unfortunately because his feelings weren't met, he's throwing what *he thinks* is what you did to him.

[whatagirl1]

"His feelings weren't met" what do you mean by this?

[Xhuy_006]

Put it this way, you see an artist in all these interviews and whatnot and you have an idea in your head about who they are irl, but when you meet them its all a show they're completely different and they treat you like trash. You're entire attitude is gonna change towards them right? You can't blame him for having the idea that you were going to to be nice to him and in the end you ignore him. He's going to be hurt.

[whatagirl1]

I was shy and he knew about my feelings.

[Xhuy_006]

by the way you're questions make you hella sus. How old are you really?

[whatagirl1]

19 years

[Xhuy_006]

Mmmmmmmm... still sus. But okay. Well if ya need anymore help lemme know. Now why is it that you ignore him irl?

[whatagirl1]

2 years ago this had happened. As soon as I entered the class my crush's friend told me to go and sit beside him. I was like why is he talking like this. This crush after math test he went and sat beside her (my friend). She went ahead and sat beside him. One of his friends sitting beside me was looking at me to see my reaction. I kept my head down. One of his other friend sitting ahead turned back and said I guess "my name" is crying. Before this situation things were pretty cool. Then I felt really bad because of how badly he wanted to get back at me for something I did. He lost me as a friend that day itself.

[whatagirl1]

I remember he was staring at me smiling and I reacted negatively. He took this situation way too seriously.

[whatagirl1]

After lockdown I shifted my from college to his. I had avoided him whenever I used to go to his college for document work. He would always act mad. Then when college happened offline to remove the awkwardness I said hi he gave me handshake. He again stared at me but this time with sad tired eyes. Next day he came upstairs and started roaming around corridoor. Now I feel he is just playing games. He knows I like him so he just wants my attention.

[Xhuy_006]

It seems like a cruel game of a high school experience has twisted your thoughts on how relationships should be. No one has taught you OR him about how to deal with the opposite sex. Its very childish, yet the way we learn relationships nowadays is by watching other people our age and how they act, but no one really know what they are doing. In this situation, even though i haven't done it before with someone I should, so I can't say this will work out, or that it won't hurt, because i dont know his type of character, *you do*, so text him, shoot him a "do you want to talk about us?" And see what he does

[Xhuy_006]

How it'll go I don't know

[whatagirl1]

I think ignoring him has always been the right thing to do. I had unfollowed him on insta. After few days he sent me request again. But now I have completely removed him from instagram. I dont want to text him. His reply will def be cold.

[whatagirl1]

I remember 2 years ago he was with his friends after our classes. I was passing by him with my friend he looked back at me and called my name in low voice I pretended I was talking to my friend who was behind me and ignored him. I'm sure he wanted to say something to me that day

[whatagirl1]

He may not be a sadist but he actually does enjoy hurting me. Don't ya think?

[whatagirl1]

I remember first day of college last month. He stared at me like I did him wrong. Even if he wore mask. His eyes could tell that he is hurt or he doesn't care about me anymore. Like he has become my rival. Either he is a pyschopath or someone who will harm me in the long run if I keep contact.

[Xhuy_006]

Well see, a sadist would enjoy inflicting pain or suffering... He seems to be hurting. Sad tired eyes don't really say hey look at me I'm loving this... I'm deep into this thread now lol

[whatagirl1]

tuts. From first day of tutions he started flirting with me. He would wink at me text me flirty emoticons. Then he brokeup after few days. After breakup with his girlfriend he started staring at me. I was staring at him once making it obvious. He would stare at me and smile a lot. One day he was staring and smiling I reacted negatively. Since then he stopped staring. He would stare at me without smiling whenever I would dress up nice. Whenever his guy friend would compliment me.

[whatagirl1]

This is how it all started

[whatagirl1]

Then things started getting ugly. Now we both literally dislike each other.

[whatagirl1]

One of his ex had told me that they broke up because he told her that women should be under men. Men must be dominant.

[whatagirl1]

I think I got saved from having a relationship with a guy like this otherwise he would have treated me like trash. The more chance he gets ruder he becomes.

[Xhuy_006]

Lol you're talking with his exes? Wooow. No but okay well I mean the guy is a oblivious dom but that doesn't make him a bad guy. He's definitely struggling, and i think you have started to dislike him for x amount of reasons. But yeah two dominant traits would definitely clash. The angry sex would probably be great, but relationship wise, yeah who knows...

[whatagirl1]

Did he like me?

[Xhuy_006]

Probably most definitely. Probably even has some bitterness because he still does maybe.

[whatagirl1]

Now he avoids me. Whenever he sees me he tries to be around me. He would try to get my attention without looking at me. Like standing in front of me etc. People told he is just playing games

[whatagirl1]

This guy ain't worth my time. I've decided to avoid him forever

[Xhuy_006]

Probably not. He'd have already made a move. Reached out. He's stuck on you but thats not exactly a healthy thing

[whatagirl1]

I saw him on dating apps. When I had just downloaded app out of curiousity. I had put some details like I dont want kids, I'd kiss in jungle than in paris, etc he had put exactly the opposite. After few mins he changed the details and put similar to mine. We stay nearby

[whatagirl1]

About making a move um 2 years ago in classes he was sitting on bench beside mine. He looked at me I pretended he was looking at my friend. He leaned in and he stared at me for like 15 mins till I look at him. I didn't look at him tho. Either he is a creep or he wanted to say something to me that day but I ignored

[whatagirl1]

Everyday he would stare at me from distance.

[whatagirl1]

I avoided him throughout the year in 2019

[whatagirl1]

So technically in person the last I spoke to him was in school when we were kids. Strange right

[Xhuy_006]

I mean, consider this, are the circumstances keeping you close to each other, or are you kinda staying in a place where you know you'll encounter him. Or he might be stalking ya... Or you, him, subliminally. I mean why is it that even though you don't talk, you're very caught up on him... Do you still somewhere deep inside want him to be better than he is right now?

[whatagirl1]

I've liked him since 4th grade. Now I am studying bachelors degree 2nd year. I've liked him for like 9 years so for me its hard to completely forget him.

[whatagirl1]

What do you think about these situation? Do you think I matter to him? Or am I just another girl with whom he can play around. He is a player for sure. I dont want to date him. But I dont want to throw him out of my life either. I'm confused.

[whatagirl1]

Why doesn't he talk to me only stare. He talks to everyone around me but not me. He is very sweet with girls. But to me its like he likes to hurt me on purpose.

[whatagirl1]

We never met each other in locality only in school classes and college

[Xhuy_006]

Just start with a hi, i think thats all he's going to need. Just say hi to him when you see him. It doesn't have to be you walking up and introducing yourself but just a simple wave. Thats all the hope in a welcome gesture a guy needs. IF... IF... IF... you want to see a change. If there's no change, he might be completely against anything to do with you, but if somewhere in his mind he still wants to be a part of your life, he'll take the chance, especially if its continuing. Just say hi.

[whatagirl1]

I said hi.. he said hi back and gave me a handshake

[whatagirl1]

Then he stared at me from far outside college

[whatagirl1]

That sad tired eyes part

[whatagirl1]

Next day he came upstairs with his friend my class floor and started roaming around the corridoor.

[whatagirl1]

I was outside only with my friend. He saw didn't react anything. I was a bit irritated went inside class. Then he came there too with his friend. Stood there treated me indifferent. And went back.

[whatagirl1]

I dont know if this was a move or playing games. You tell me please.

[Xhuy_006]

At this point i have no idea. Y'all are something else. Lol

[whatagirl1]

Exactly even if I made things easier between us he made it complicated. He is the worst guy ever witnessed in life.

[Mango-man]

So you text with him but then give him cold shoulder in real life and when he gets confused you call him sadist...
Girl, you should start with yourself before judging others. Plus you maybe should look up the definition of sadist.

[Agape93]

Nope lol not even a bit.

[Iron_Man]

Nope

[whatagirl1]

Then why is he behaving like this

[In_Trance]

I don't think so