Why does my friend check me out when im not looking?

[Anonymous]

Whenever I look at him or talking to him. He seems as if he doesn't look at me but if I look away and look back fast he's checking me out. We been dating for several months but about a month ago got in a fight. So I feel he's acting like he doesn't look but his body language is like he wants to be near me

[DaveJord]

Honestly, when I am dating a women and she catches me looking I make sure she knows that I was looking at her and why. But if he is looking at you and then not making eye contact or saying something to you... well that does not sound like your with a emotionally secure or mature individual.

I for one always want my women to know that I am checking her out, and more importantly exactly why I like checking her out. So this guy is either really insecure or he is really pissed at you.

[Asker]

Past weeks he would look away fast or act like he was nt looking. Thats the thing too as of lately past couple nights I catch him and he keeps checking me out now

[DaveJord]

Well I would confront him about it and ask why he's being so strange. Depending on the conversation that happens afterwards, you will have to decide for yourself if this person is emotionally mature enough to want to remain in the relationship with.

I went through something similar with my current girl friend recently. She start acting a little strange on the phone and things. I just picked up on something. So I asked her straight out what's going on with you, it seems like there is something you want to say and your not saying it. She eventually tells me that last weekend she felt that I shamed her over something. She wanted to wait to talk to me in person, but as the week went on it just started bothering her more and more. So we talked about it. I listened to her, and I expressed to her that I did not intentionally mean to shame her and I did not really realize that it was bothering her so deeply. She told me that it wasn't so much about what I did, but things other guys had done to her in the past and it trigger somethings for her. We talked it out like two grown adults... last weekend we went on weekend get away together and it was amazing. Sometimes people want you to express to them that you care and that you are willing to let them be hear then work things out with them.

[Asker]

Oh I see. Yeah when he was mad at me last month for couple days he completely avoided me but we have been going out to eat dinner. He hasn't hugged me since the last fight. He kind of flirts with me little more but I really miss his full comfort. I been wanting to ask if I can hug him but im scared he's going to reject me

[DaveJord]

If you want to hug him then hug him. I do not think most people are passive aggressive on purpose, it something they do when they get their feelings hurt and its natural to kind of turn inward. But you should sit down and talk this over with him. And after that if he can get over what ever happen then you have to decide what this relationship is worth to you, when there might be some one else who can make you feel more comfortable and happy.

[Asker]

The reason we got in a fight a month ago is because I forgot my pill and we basically had a pregnancy scare but turns out I'm not pregnant. He told me that day a month ago that he trusted me and that he feels he can't rely on me again basically saying never again sex with me. I'm not sure if he really meant it that day or if he was just really upset. Thats why he was so distant those first weeks. Thats why im scared to ask him for a hug. I do feel like he is getting closer to me little by little but I feel at the same time if I asl its gonna push him further again of he's not ready for a hug or something. I been wanting to ask him if we would ever have sex again but feel it would make me look desperate too. What do you think?

[Guy13]

Yes, he misses you and definitely has some voyeur characteristics. There’s so much fun to be had that’s🙃