Should I call him?

Question

So I met this guy in our batch party and we really hit it off I got his number and we talked on text for a while and then planned to meet. We had a great time and even almost kissed. I met him in farewell after that and he was really sweet to me. We continued talking and I told him that I liked him and he said we should be friends and I agreed and everything was good after that. We continued talking for a bit and the conversations were good when he suddenly stopped replying. It's been a month he hasn't replied and he ignored me during exams. Should I call him and find out what happened or let it be? Why did he suddenly stop texting? And also just for the backstory, his best friend and i used to talk and his best friend always wanted to makeout with me but i kept denying he even asked if things didn't workout between me and that guy would i makeout with him? Does any of this make sense?

alderoth · Accepted Answer

Okay, this is and isn't complex. The guy you are referring to sees you as just a friend and it seems like you are always expecting more. I think, and I'm not 100% sure on this, he was thinking the same thing. Like, when he saw your messages he was thinking, "God, it's her. "Why is she texting me so much?" and eventually got so annoyed he just quit responding, or even erased your number.

Now, you said that he had mentioned that he wanted to make out with you at one point in time. You need to not think about that at all. Men, and some women, get lonely and they sometimes want their friends to help with that "lonliness" the whole friends with benefits thing. There is nothing wrong with that as long as both people understand THAT is what it is, but that shouldn't be calculated into this instance in my personal opinion.

The other side to all of this, is maybe he got himself a girlfriend and he doesn't want to talk to girls at the moment because she gets mad when he speaks to them. Guys do end up in a LOT of relationships with jealous lovers that if we look at our phone and another female is on the screen, besides them, we get chewed out, hit, or broken up with. So there is that possibility.

If the subject is just burning your insides and you just HAVE to know what is going on, I don't think a phone call, or text would satisfy you. The reason being is you wouldn't be able to see his emotions, or know if he is being 100% genuine with you. We all say we "know" old so-and-so, but we really don't. The best way to gauge someone's emotions is face to face and with direct questions. Not in a rude way, but being genuinely inquisitive, but if you do that, you need to be ready to accept whatever answer you are given.

To round this all out it sounds like you are pretty smitten with this fella and while I think that is adorable and he should as well, I am not him, nor anywhere near the situation. I don't know a thing about what he is feeling. All I can tell you is that guys, when they just want a person to be friends, they want them to be at arms length. It could be how we are raised, I don't know, but if someone we've told "I just want to be friends", starts trying to act like we are MORE than friends, we tend to distance ourselves, and even ghost them if we can.

I am sorry for your situation. I know exactly how it feels. I hope it gets better and someone gives back the same intense feelings you seem to have. Take care!!

Guy13 · Accepted Answer

Call him. His voice might convey some things that texting did not

SueShe · Accepted Answer

No, you should not call him.

There are 2 major reasons why you should not.

1a.) When he mentioned that you should be friends, you replied much too quickly and he (mis) understood your approval as you being an easy prey and probably wanting more than just being simple friends.

1b.) Again, the friend topic could also have led him to believe that you were only interested in him being a friends with benefits while you solely thought of being platonic friends.

2.) His best friend may have informed him about you. Since the friend wanted to get into your pants but you rejected it, he could have spread false news about you that would lead him to block you afterwards.

The fact that so much time has passed since you last communicated with him leads me to believe that he has lost interest in you.

PrettyPriya · Accepted Answer

I don't think it is a good thing to call. Too much time has passed in my opinion and he has clearly lost interest by the details you give. As to why he has? That is anyone's guess.

It could be he met someone else. It might be because there was nothing more than conversation (no actual dates) and he got bored. Maybe he got busy or some life event caused him to not want to pursue a relationship.

It is hard to say without you just asking. However, I don't think it is worth it. If he were still interested, he would not have broken contact. Best let this one go and move on. Those sparks from the beginning are gone I am afraid.

Good luck to you and I'm sure you will find someone else that gives you the attention you deserve.