Hello everybody. Can being able to talk to girls freely, frankly, be considered a skill among college students now-a-days?

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I live in a hostel and when I talk with my friends about interacting with girls, making contacts and all, they all shy away. As if girls are some alien or something completely unknown.

I ask them why, they themselves are not able to tell the reason. Just that they have minimum to zero confidence with speaking with girls.

I, along with my friends, are on really friendly terms with nearly all the girls we come in contact with.

Is this a real problem, or I am just making it up?

[Anonymous]

It's a real problem. I used to be like that. I remember a dude I was friends with asking me to come with him to chat girls up and I'd always have an excuse not to because the idea terrified me.

Many people will blame the internet, but without the internet, I'd be an incel, seriously. I wouldn't have figured out how to get over it by myself. I was always like that when I was a kid, never had the internet back then, and then I left school and still had no idea until I sought out advice. There's gotta be more to it than that.

I think it's also about the way they were parented (over-protective parents), and the way they're influenced by TV and movies.

[NathanDavis]

to me is something completely normal...

but is not something that everyone is able to do, not even willing to do... men or women alike, not everyone has those social skills practiced well enough, so they have a lot less experience

and I would assume it might be even more challenging today than it was before, to speak in person with one another is something we do a lot less because of technology and our dependency on screens

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Yes, I completely agree with you.

[mandyfire98]

Like just straight up having a conversation with a girl? That's viewed as a talent now? Just talking to a girl now is talented? Have social skills deteriorated that much? Like I get certain extreme cases like diagnosed social anxiety and people being on the autism spectrum. I fully understand that but outside of that, to not be able to just speak and converse with the opposite sex is very odd to me.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I totally understand what you said, but there are people out there who do not have the confidence of this kind. Let alone guys, even girls are seen to lack this confidence.
I have to initiate conversation with such girls. And I can tell if a girl lacks the confidence or is just unwilling to talk at the moment.

It seems you and I are just lucky enough to have these social skills and I am not even kidding.

In fact, I was one of those kids that was afraid of talking with girls. This site helped me in gaining some of that confidence, and I did the rest of the work of trial and error talking with girls. Those girls who knew me and now also in the college, those who know me, kept on giving me chances and I am now completely okay with it.

There are countless invisible students who do not have such amazing people with them. What about them. Sister, mother do not count as we are too much familiarized with them.

Even in group discussions, I just get the idea of the students not comfortable with the whole exercise. I purposefully take their names to make them answer questions. Acceptance of a problem is the first step to solve it. Accepting that you do not have that confidence is the first step to gain it. I think.

[mandyfire98]

I guess I just didn't realize it was common to have so many men that couldn't even have a conversation with women. That's news to me.

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Told you mam, we are the lucky ones.

Tell me why divorces happen. The main reason is lack of communication. They are not comfortable with each other at the most fundamental level. Barriers are there. What results in, is a catastrophe.

[Tiptoetamm]

It is a bit rare, most of my bfs I approached them, so it's super hot to see a confident man

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

I am not getting what is rare. Being confident enough to talk to girls or anything else?

[Tiptoetamm]

Being confident enough to approach women

[The_Shadow_Dweller]

Oh okay!

I approach them freely. The girls that are in same class as mine. Not my seniors and juniors. At least not with that kind of knowingness.

I have struggled for so many years. I am feeling really good right now. Because I was like one of my friends at a time.

[Tiptoetamm]

That's awesome

[Anonymous]

You mean without them claiming some false sex crime against them.

[AFretiredTXn]

Yes.