Girls, would you date a hurt guy who’s been badly hurt from others over the years?

[Anonymous]

[Smoke-n-Growls]

Nope.

That's someone who hasn't done enough healing work on themselves. It's a reason I am not dating yet, and don't plan to until I've gone through enough healing.

It isn't fair, in my view, to burden a future relationship with the traumas of a past one. We are shaped and informed by our past, but it does not define us. We learn, and we grow.

I expect the same courtesy from a new partner.

I will listen to troubles, provide a shoulder to cry on, and warm hugs when needed. I'll be a cheerleader, supporter, and biggest fan.

But I'm not able to be those things for someone who refuses to work on themselves. I can't support someone who refuses to help themselves.

It's ok to have been badly hurt. It's okay to have triggers and situations you'd rather avoid.

It's not ok to suffocate a new and possibly healthy relationship with unaddressed trauma and issues.

[Anonymous]

Currently dating a guy like this. At first it was fine but now I can see all the anger and hurt he has still inside of him, I really hope that he’ll see a therapist eventually bc I can’t help him deal with his rage and trust issues, I do love him and will stick by his side to support him but I’m not sure how much longer I can take if he doesn’t at least try to improve…

[Asker]

I’m also kinda like this but very mildly. I possibly have someone who wants me to ask her out but I’ll told her im taking a break from dating and she sound disappointed but she respected my decision. Im worried she wouldn’t like me more and don’t want her to be my taxi service since I don’t drive for right now.

[Opinion Owner]

That’s very reasonable, I think you did the right thing.
You definitely need to do some cleaning up before you can start something with someone new again, otherwise your past is just gonna haunt your new relationship. You don’t have to be 100% healed from your past to start dating again, as long as you feel ready then you can definitely get back out there.

With my boyfriend tho, I can tell he wasn’t ready and I wanted to just back away to give him some space but he refused. He insisted that we stayed together and it got very toxic bc he’s still too hurt by his past. Thankfully, he’s slowly working on his issues.

[Hopelessromantic53]

Of course i would. In fact, I'd love to.
Id love to be the the one for him when everyone else left. And I'm the sort of person who feels like a waste of space if I'm not helping anyone. Both our bonds with each other would grow stronger that way, do you think? Id try my hardest to be the girl of his dreams and make him as happy as possible. At the same time, if he genuinely needs some professional help, I'd not want to make things worse by experimenting on him. I'd try to the best for him.

[fonduegirl]

Does he love me or is he ready to start dating again? It'd be splendid if both of these happened simultaneously, but in most cases the former happens without the latter.

[DermalPunch]

Yes, because I am someone who has been mistreated a lot and experienced all types of abuse and bad treatment.

I can be patient as long as they are truthful and not selfish.

[DermalPunch]

What the anon girl said. Can't stay for the rage issues. You will becaime thebpunching bag wmotionally, mentally and physically. Lived it.

[TacosRAwesome]

Maybe. Until he punishes me for the sins of his exes.

[Asker]

My problems are very mild. If I dated you, I’ll treat you like a queen then a Brutal abused slave.

[Lucy68]

Possibly I've been hurt so much that I can probably understand. I'll love him

[Marshymallow]

No! Some have very serious issues and I’m not a therapist or their mother.

[JessicaEarl]

It’s not the pain from the past that would decide whether I’d date him or not

[Anonymous]

Yes, as long as he is willing to be vulnerable and trust my intentions then I’d have no problem.

[Blackcosmo]

I mean I could try and support them. If they need help then I'll help them get it.

[Dinklex3]

Depends on how they are as a person.

[Sour-rose]

Couldn't hurt either of us... most likely.

[LazerBean]

Emotionally hurt? No.

[hellomellow7]

It depends

[pankyvic]

He'd be a BIGASS CRYBBY HELL NO I COULDNOT.