If a guy uses reverse psychology on you, why does he do it and is a good or bad thing?

[Anonymous]

and what type of behavior should i look for to know if he's using it in me? He said he uses it in people

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[dynamicyandere]

It really depends on the guy. Reverse psychology can be used as a tool to influence or persuade or manipulate. It really depends on what his goals are. It can used for good or bad. It can be used to make you do what he wants. The catch is, does he want what’s best for you or does he not?


How can you tell if he’s using it? He may say something that may cause you to naturally react a certain way. Instead of reacting right away, pause and think, “Is this reaction exactly what he wants to see from me?” Reverse psychology relies on impulse, so don’t allow yourself to be impulsive. Instead, let your values and priorities guide your decisions, and critically think about what impulses his words and actions make you feel.

[dynamicyandere]

I’d like to add, most of the time it isn’t a good thing. Rarely are people using reverse psychology to help someone else live a happier healthier life. It’s usually used in a manipulative context that only benefits the user.

[Asker]

Thanks you sooo much for taking the time to give me advice. This totally makes sense. Felt like crying as I was reading it because your insight had helped me to sit back and reflect on things.

Based on what you've said and my intuition, I think he is playing me. It hurts so much, because I like him a lot. I feel foolish because I'm ignoring my gut because it feels good to feel wanted and liked by him, even if it's not real.

I know I need to let him to, but I'm struggling to. I think that's because my self-esteem is a little low right now. I just don't know how to act and behave to stop manipulative people being drawn towards me. I don't want to change who I am, but being the person I am just draws the wrong people into my life 😕

[Asker]

Sorry, can i also ask you.

If he had good intentions rather than bad, do you know any good reasons why he could possible use reverse psychology on me?

[Asker]

Possibly **

[dynamicyandere]

You’re very welcome. I’m glad my insight helped. ☺️

In terms of reverse psychology being used for good. One example could be like if let’s say they wanted to help you improve your fitness they may say something like, “What am I up to? I’m just training for a 5k run. You wanna join me? No, sounds too hard? That’s fine, I’d expected you to turn me down anyway. You seem the type to give up on things easily, so I’m not surprised.” That may make you want to prove them wrong and then show them you CAN run a 5k and that you are NOT a quitter.

They said something a certain way, to make you react a certain way that feels like you’re going against them, but all along it was the exact reaction they wanted out of you in the first place.

I hope with that example you can see how in very rare contexts this could be used for good. But, the majority of the time you can see how this can be used for manipulative reasons.

[dynamicyandere]

As for helping you deal with manipulative people, one of your challenges may be that you’re very kind and soft and have trouble being assertive with setting boundaries. If this is the case, I recommend you read this book by Henry Cloud: Boundaries: When to Say Yes, How to Say No to Take Control of Your Life

[dynamicyandere]

Also, trust your gut. 9/10 times your gut is right—it’s your subconscious picking up on things that you aren’t noticing right away, warning you that something doesn’t quite feel right—that something feels off. It’s your subconscious trying to warn you of danger.

[Asker]

Thank you again for your sincere advice. I appreciate it very much.

"one of your challenges may be that you’re very kind and soft and have trouble being assertive with setting boundaries. "that's exactly who I am 😕

I will definitely check out that book. Your examples and advice have helped immensely..

Sorry for keep asking more questions.

But he often keeps me hanging. He may read my message and not respond until the next day or until i message first. Once, he apologised for keeping me hanging. So he knows he is actually keeping me hanging. Do you think this is a sign of indifference towards me or reverse psychology to make me message first? Or is it too hard to tell which it is?

[dynamicyandere]

You’re very welcome. I’m happy to help. ☺️

What you describe sounds like a different tactic. He could be interested, but acts indifferent, because that feigned indifference may cause you to worry and second-guess his attraction to you and make you afraid that maybe he’s slipping away and that makes you want to contact him as an attempt to hold onto his attraction and hope he doesn’t forget you… Now, he has you right where he wants you—you’re insecurities are heightened, you’re second-guessing your self-worth, and you’re more desperate for his validation. Now, you’re even more susceptible to further manipulation.

Or, if none of this was intentional and he wasn’t trying to manipulate, he may have just been busy or you’re just not a very high priority to him.

I can’t tell for certain, but perhaps you can, with your gut and intuition.

[dynamicyandere]

I’ve been a victim of manipulation myself before. From both family and fake friends. I eventually learned how to navigate around it through necessity. I graduated university with a bachelor’s in psychology, intending to use my understanding of the mind to help people. Feel free to DM me if you like. ☺️

[Asker]

Thank you. I will

[TheLastRhodesian]

Ohhh very good, I use it too, it's a technique I learned from narcissists.

[TheMajesticKing777]

That all depends what he uses it for but I guess it's somewhat dangerous

[JakeS00]

It’s toxic behavior.

[RuthlessAggression]

Why do you think?