I asked him if he does not love me anymore and he replied:" at this point I just need peace", also he talked about our past. Why?

[Deimy]

Updates

+1 y

What do you think?

[DaveJord]

So I reacted a point in my relationship with my ex-wife where I just was over it. I mean its not that I ever stopped thinking of her as being attractive or topped loving her. But she made everything so difficult... like unnecessary so. No matter what she found fault in almost anything, and its like she refused to just be happy or satisficed with anything I did or tried to do. Before the end, I got to the point that I just wanted peace in my life. Got tied of hearing it all the time, the negativity and nah saying. I told her I don't think I am the type of man that will ever make you happy, so when every your ready to end it do it... just quit talking to me about it all the time. I told her I would never leave her, but its apparent that she will never be happy with me, so what's the point?

22 years of marriage and two kids, she finally did it, thank god. You know I honestly thought I loved her until the end, until it was over and I felt nothing but relief. So I guess I was fooling myself the whole time or at least for a very long time.

Now I am not saying your that type of person so don't get mad or angry. But maybe you need to do some self reflection on yourself and make any improvements you think you can make to be the best version of yourself possible for this guy. I know I did this for my ex several times and it was never good enough for her, but I don't feel that she ever put that type of individual effort into maintaining the relationship as much as I did. And, yes it turned into feelings of resentment, and then she started resenting the fact that I resented her, and then it turned into a real shit show after that. So take what he told you to heart, because you should be concerned and if you think there is nothing more or else you can or should do about that... then do yourself and him both a favor and end the relationship.

If your not happy, and he is not happy... don't try to make it work when all your achieving is that both of you are unhappy. If your not getting what you want out of the relationship and you a have communicated it and tried to make it work then get out of that relationship, don't hang on to something that is not really there... that is what I learned and how I life and manage my relationships now.

[nitsuj86]

Sounds like he might still have feeling for you, but that your bad behaviour has overshadowed those feelings.

Him not answering, says that he might still love you. But that to him, it doesn't matter anymore. The things you have done, the way you act, etc... have made it to where despite how much he might still love you, he can't be with you.

You aren't peaceful to be around. If someone says they just need peace, that means you are not providing it. Without more info, that's all I can say. But if this man is ending things with you, there is nothing you can say that will change that.

The only thing you can do is either let him go, and do better next time. Or prove yourself with actions. Whatever you are doing that is destroying the peace you need to work on, and show the results, not just talk about all the stuff you are gonna do, but the thing is, that stuff takes time, time is sounds like he is no longer willing to give.

Often it is too little too late.

[Deimy]

Yes we had a lot of drama, bur he said:" At this point I’m not sure that’s possible and I don’t know when that’s gonna be back to normal…
At this point please don’t run after me I’m not handling it that well cause all I can think of currently when we talk is what happened and it makes me think “conflict” and that’s making me avoid you…" I said that I love him truly and I will give him space

[Deimy]

He said we will talk:) again, for sure

[nitsuj86]

I would recommend you give him the space he is asking for. You chasing after him will just cause more drama and fights, which will drive him away further. Not peaceful.

What is peaceful is you cut contact, go to therapy, and fix your issues. During that time, you need to let him go. Come to terms with the fact that your current relationship is over, and you need to make these changes regardless. It will just repeat with the next guy if you don't.

If this man truly loves you, then he will find his way back, but you can't wait for it. He is telling you he is done, respect it. If you want to hold out hope, you can, but that doesn't mean he has to. If you see him move on, do the same. Maybe someday when you have truly changed he will see and want to be apart of your life again, but that's the shitty thing about messing up.

You aren't in control of how others react.

[Deimy]

The issues was that he was hurting and " destroyed his feelings" cause he felt I did not love him but I loved him

[nitsuj86]

I call bullshit. Someone not loving me is not an issue with peace. You were doing other shit.

[GurlMaster40]

Maybe the best thing to do is to try to give him some peace. It will show him you respect his wishes if you give him some space.

[Deimy]

Yes cause he said:" At this point I’m not sure that’s possible and I don’t know when that’s gonna be back to normal…
At this point please don’t run after me I’m not handling it that well cause all I can think of currently when we talk is what happened and it makes me think “conflict” and that’s making me avoid you…" I said that I love him truly and I will give him space

[GurlMaster40]

And about the talking about your past, I would say he wishes things were the way they used to be. However they changed I don't know, but how they were seems to be what he likes better than how things are and better for him as well.

[Deimy]

Do you think he still loves me?

[GurlMaster40]

That isn’t for me to decide because I am not him. Only he can tell you that. I would say based off of what he said, I would say that since he says he’s not handling it well because he thinks of conflict, I would say that the conflict that occurs even if it is minor, seems to be overwhelming him. That is probably why he asked for some peace. I can’t tell you if he loves you or not, only because I’m not him, and I can’t talk to him so I can’t tell. Personally what my head is saying is that he seems to feel lost about if he loves you or not. I believe that is why he wanted some space, so he can hopefully think it over. I also believe that based on what he said, that he can only think of conflict, I believe he might want some peace so there is no conflict. He most definitely does not like the conflict. I hope this helps! Also please don’t act based on my judgment only, ask others for their opinions as well, multiple judgments is better than one only.

[Deimy]

Thank you🥰

[GurlMaster40]

Yah ofc! I hope this helps

[boggboss]

Sounds like there has been a lot of drama and he wants space to work shit out

[Deimy]

Yes we had a lot of drama, bur he said:" At this point I’m not sure that’s possible and I don’t know when that’s gonna be back to normal…
At this point please don’t run after me I’m not handling it that well cause all I can think of currently when we talk is what happened and it makes me think “conflict” and that’s making me avoid you…"

[boggboss]

So give him space unless u want absolutely no chance

[FilmGuy93]

He's telling you that he finds the relationship with you exhausting. You don't bring him peace.

[Deimy]

he said:" At this point I’m not sure that’s possible and I don’t know when that’s gonna be back to normal…
At this point please don’t run after me I’m not handling it that well cause all I can think of currently when we talk is what happened and it makes me think “conflict” and that’s making me avoid you…" I said that I love him truly and I will give him space

[RuthlessAggression]

He's saying what he wants. Respect it

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he has ended things.

[Deimy]

Yes we had a lot of drama, bur he said:" At this point I’m not sure that’s possible and I don’t know when that’s gonna be back to normal…
At this point please don’t run after me I’m not handling it that well cause all I can think of currently when we talk is what happened and it makes me think “conflict” and that’s making me avoid you…" Actually I wrote a goodbey message but he avoided that

[Anonymous]

🤣🤣🤣