Guys, would this introduction work for a dating site & what would you change?

[Anonymous]

Traveled, intellectual, and entrepreneurial family-focused woman looking for her partner in crime lol (nothing good is rushed by the way). Love to cook.

Described as honest, mature, easy-going, friendly, and nurturing with an excellent sense of humor. One word - rational and down-to-earth; oops that's five lol.

From flying a cessna to exploring a new hiking trail to a movie or relaxing with a book / a cup of tea and some good conversation always have time for self and others especially family

I am trying to figure things out

Yes

Maybe

No

[MrHopper]

Tried a wee rewrite, my Britishness and self deprecating is coming though a little, but hopefully you get what I done, its a little more modest and I removed the "lol" and rewrote some jokes

"Traveled, family-focused lady looking for a partner in crime. I am a whizz in the kitchen and can do beans on toast at least two ways!

My friends describe me as honest, mature, easy-going, friendly, and nurturing with an excellent sense of humor, although I would describe them as liers!

From flying a cessna to exploring a new hiking trail to a movie or relaxing with a book and maybe a spot of tea! Add in some good conversation and that's me!"

[Asker]

Lol. I love it. But I don't know how many people would get British wit/sarcasm when living in North America unfortunately. Mostly goes over their heads from what I've seen (being British born meself).

[MrHopper]

More loss for them the boring buggers! It's good just generally I would say there a few bits it sounds like your about to say more and you don't, like the last line and the love to cook bit

[Mijopapi2000]

No matter what you write it is all gonna be terrible just meet someone in person instead

[Asker]

What's wrong?

[Mijopapi2000]

Nothing you said just all of those things suck and are cheesy no matter what anybody says it looks silly

[Asker]

How? Most successful men want a woman who does more than sit on her ass & grow fat

[Avicenna]

Sounds good