Why do I like him?

[Anonymous]

This guy (23m) and I (27f) were just friends, but I agreed to go out with him and tho I initially wasn't into him, I found myself really liking him after the first date itself.

He's very respectful and besides glancing over at me and sometimes brushing arm against mine, he'd refrain from touching me. He started speaking about marriage on the first date and asked if he could meet my family but not in a pushy/desperate way - he respects my space and makes sure I feel comfortable. I felt I could really open up to him and even told him about my insecurities. The first date was 5 hours, however after realising our political differences, we knew it wouldn't work and ended it. He even stopped being friends as he thinks it's awkward but altho it's been a week, I still seem to miss something about him.

[JPresidente]

Mainly because you made an emotional connection. While men need a physical attraction before they will progress to an emotional connection and like a woman, women need an emotional connection first and then looks become secondary before they will like a guy. The connection was made for you.

[Asker]

I usually go by looks and then form an emotional connection, here however was different. He's good looking, but since he was a friend I always wanted to remain friends regardless of whether or not we were dating. He however began to completely avoid me after this and I can't seem to come to terms with it, I miss talking to him.

[JPresidente]

Sorry to hear that. There must have been something in you that was a deal breaker for him so he decided to cut ties.

[JPresidente]

If you really want to try and get him back, there are certain ways a woman can affect a man, if you know what I mean. Show up in a hot outfit with a short skirt one day where he's at and you might grab his attention back. Just sayin.

[Asker]

Yeah we had some quite strong political differences and realised that our families wouldn't agree to this. So he made it clear that we should end it, and we ended it amicably. He even apologised to me and said he didn't just want a friend which I found really surprising- it's like he was never wanted a friend, it was either dating with the intention of marriage or nothing.

[JPresidente]

I see. When a guy really likes someone and realizes they can't be with them, it can be extremely difficult to just be friends and control ourselves so he probably felt it best that if you were out of sight, you would be out of mind. Although I bet he probably does fantasize about you.

[Guy13]

He is conservative with a purposeful view of the world with Vision and action plan. That is attractive as he can lead but your Leftist leanings are in opposition to such a man. It is most definitely your loss.

[Asker]

I'm not leftist, we're both centrists, slightly conservative and lean alittle towards the right. Our political differences were not based on American politics at all.

The politics was something to do with our family background. So we split because we knew our respective families would not approve, it's really nothing to do with either him or me (I should've made this clear). I liked the fact that he almost instantly mentioned marriage and also made sure that I was comfortable with it by giving me space without pushing for me to agree with it. Moreover I loved his company.

I just don't understand why I still like him even after he started avoiding me.

[Guy13]

Are you both Americans?

[Asker]

Yes, but our families have strong opposing views on politics pertaining to another country- we realised it couldn't work after this.

[Guy13]

Alright. Don’t feel like I’m getting the full story as related to heritage of family but it’s good that you saw it on the front end 👍

[Asker]

Yeah I guess so, just don't understand why I like him and still can't move on even after he started avoiding me.

[Wise4myage]

Talking about arriage on the first date? That's a huge red flag.

[Wise4myage]

*marriage

[Asker]

Lol why?

[Wise4myage]

Its too much too soon.

[Asker]

There's really no too much/too soon if both really like eachother, but here it wasn't like that, so yea I agree. But here some people just want the other to know where they want to head with dating. It's to let the other know that they are not casual.