Why did he avoid looking at me?

[Anonymous]

In court, he was the plaintiff and me the accused... He lied a lot in court and I thought that he would look at me out of feeling bad... but he didn't look at me a single second... why do you guys think? To give some context, he flirted with me in the past until he left to study... the flirting was getting in the way of his career (he was my doctor) and we never spoke... however, in 6 years of not seeing him... I did send him 5 message, not knowing if he saw them.. couple years later I made an appointment in his new clinic to better understand if he saw my message or not? And I made an appointment in his girlfriend's clinic to see if they were married? He found out and pressed charges for harassment... he lied a whole lot to protect his own reputation...

But why did he completely avoid looking at me during the trial... ?

[Anonymous]

If he was your doctor and flirting with you, you should have reported him at the time. As for the flirting, you said it ended! Why would you bother to contact him? and why would you go out your way to make an appointment at his work just to see him and ask him if he received your messages? And why make an appointment at his girlfriends clinic? Its a bit weird you would do that! Especially to see if this guy is married. Which technically is none of your business as this guy hadn't been in contact with you for years.

Regardless if he is lied or not in court, you did harass him! I'm surprised you werent also charged with stalking. He doesn't owe it to you to look at you. Since you didn't leave him alone he was probably thinking if he looked at you, you might see it as him flirting with you and he didn't want to you that attention.

[Asker]

You could be right for the looking part.. and where he works is public information, as he's a doctor...
I tried contacting him while the flirting was happening, but didn't know if he was active on fb and saw it? I did try again after he left the clinic to tell him goodbye... I had hopes, since I felt a great intrest from him... and wanted things to be clear... to me it wasn't clear...
Also, online stalking is legal... I just looked at public information... I really believed In the potential we had, you really think it's that crazy? Also I know he doesn't owns me anything... I was just expecting a sense of guilt...

[Opinion Owner]

Girl you are saying 2 different things right now, here you are claiming you contacted him while the flirting was happening but that's not what you said in your post, you said above

he flirted with me in the past until he left to study... the flirting was getting in the way of his career (he was my doctor) and we never spoke... however, in 6 years of not seeing him... I did send him 5 message

He made it known the flirting was getting in the way, that was his way of saying it was over and he made it further known it was over when he moved away. I don't care if according to you online stalking is legal, you still stalked him! That's messed up and really creepy and sick. It was also none of your business if he is married or not. I don't care if his work is public information. What right did you have to book an appointment at his work just to find out if he got your messages or not and what right did you have to go to his girlfriend clinic just to find out if they were married which is really none of your business.

You need some help. Stop stalking the guy, stop making appointments, leave the guy alone. Your saying you expected a sense of guilt from him. Well where is your sense of guilt for stalking him and for not leaving him alone. Surely the fact years had gone by without contact should have told you he wanted nothing to do with you.

[Asker]

The total of years I have known him was 6 years, I didn't explain it well, I meant that in total, in 6 years, I sent 5 message... some where during his time as my doc some were when he left to say goodbye...
I dont agree with you to say that looking at public information about a doctor is creepy.
How could I feel guilty during these years if I didn't know that he felt bad ? I was leaving him alone for years... he never blocked me tho and I had reasons to think that he wasn't bother by my message... it's not as if I wrote to him 10 times a day for the last 6 years... 5 times in 6 years... I had all the rights in the world to book appointments with my doctor until he decides to not treat me anymore.
You seem to only be able to view things from one perspective.
You also don't seem to be questioning things, like why didn't he tell me he wasn't interested, if he doesn't own me that then why didn't he just block me... why did he keep treating me... why pressing charges to lie about what happened? It's called critical thinking...

[Asker]

Yes he was between his career and me and I felt like this flirting was in the way for his career, however, if he's gonna flirt, it means there's a door opened to possibilities...

[Opinion Owner]

He told you he wasn't interested in you when he stopped the flirting and moved away and stopped talking to you. No I'm not seeing it from one side. I am calling you out because you are not a victim in this so stop acting like one. He is not the only one in the wrong here, you are also. You admitted to stalking him and you can't see how wrong and creepy that is, you can't even see how wrong and disgusting it was just to go out of your way to make an appointment to see him just to find out if he got your messages and worse you went deliberately out of your way to stalk his girlfriend and you had the audacity to make an appointment at her clinic because you felt it was your business to know if he was married or not which again was none of your business. Get over it. Forget the guy and move on. If you don't move on he will probably press further charges or even worse you will potentially end up in jail

[Asker]

He didn't stop the flirting until after he left... meaning the very last day we met, he almost jumped my bones (being very touchy) Then left me thinking he was interested amd wanted more... him leaving don't automatically means that all my chances have now vanished... in a certain future we could have connected again.
I have limits, I would never stalk his home etc... but too just look up a doctor on Google is pretty standard, people do it for various reasons... amd I will not feel bad for doing it.
I feel bad for seeing his girlfriend tho because he didn't like it... probably thought I wanted to tell her the truth... sure I feel bad for that. Do I think it's a cruel as you're making it out to be? No... I was very nice to her... did no harm and wanted no harm.. at most I will call this immaturity... not criminal.

I dont think it was ground breaking to be her client...
I strongly disagree with you, implying that this was evil of me etc...

Also, the reason why I wanted to find this out is because I did not want to go see a married man. I would never do that... not my thing. I wanted to find out to avoid seeing him anymore. It wasn't just for fun... it was the right thing to do if i didn't want to see someone married.

[Opinion Owner]

You didn't just look him up because you needed to see a doctor because you were feeling sick you went there with every intention of harassing him about wanting to know if he got your messages or not. Whether he did or didn't he clearly didn't respond to the messages so that should have also told you he wasn't interested in you. You don't want to see a married man but you sure as hell risked breaking him and his girlfriend up.

Again you are no victim in this so stop acting like it. Stop obsessing over a guy who doesn't want you. Move on and leave him alone and remember it is none of your business if he is in a relationship or not or if he is married. You are not his girlfriend and he made that known when he stopped contacting you. Even now after you went to court for harassing him you still won't leave him alone as you keep talking about him and acting like he is the only one who has done the wrong thing here. Get over it move on seriously take responsibility

[Asker]

How is asking why he avoided looking at me acting like a victim?
Sure, by law, if you write to someone 2x without answer the first time, its harassment,
If you fight with your boyfriend and he calls you more than once to apologize its harassment by law.
I had no intention to harass him, even if this is what it is by law. The intention wasn't there.
For the intention to be there, you need to know that it's bothering him, which I honestly didn't know.
Whether you believe it or not, I'm just being honest, there was no intention from my side.
It's just so fucking normal to talk about court while it's happening, has nothing to do with me "not leaving him alone"
stop your bullshit.

You can never know why is someone not replying.. maybe they don't use fb. But yes by law if you try a second time, even 10 years later, you can be charged with harassment.
Obviously I didn't know that before, and if I knew, I would have been more careful and respected the law.

[molonski2]

I think you've nailed it already , he knew he was stretching the truth , dam hard to lie and look the actual person in the eye , some crooks can do it , he felt guilt for sure.

[Asker]

He would also always sit in the back of the court room while I was testifying...
I wish you were right, and that he was capable of feeling remorse... but im under the impression that his ego is too big for remorse and his heart too small... :(

[molonski2]

I think you are correct , he's not a professional crook , but now he is trying to convince himself.
Any wonder he can't look you in the eye !

[spartan55]

Wow, no wonder you ended up in court. You sound very unstable.

[Asker]

And what is your diagnosis doctor?

[spartan55]

You went off the rails and stalked a guy who was not interested. So much that he had to take you to court.