How to know if a guy really likes me or is just player?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

I think inconsistency is very telling. More often than not it seems like guys who aren’t serious about investing will start one way, and gradually shift into showing their true nature. For instance, good morning texts, good night texts, chatty throughout the day, dates, lots of compliments, etc. Then eventually the morning/night texts stop, conversation slows down to him taking hours to respond, he starts flaking on plans, and essentially his effort loses momentum. Traits such as these come off as ingenuine.

[Asker]

Yeah, that is what he's like

[Opinion Owner]

To me that’s a sign of a guy who isn’t serious about dating, and something you want to clarify early on. Ask him what his intentions are, see what he’s looking for. But honestly if he’s not being consistent with you or putting in much effort then it’s probably a sign that he’s trying to spread his attention out between you and other women.

[Asker]

I think that too. I'm sure he sees other women. You're so right. It's killing me inside nlt knowing where I stand with him.

[Opinion Owner]

I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase “you can’t lose what’s not yours”, but it really applies to situations like this. I think often times we get so caught up in the potential a guy has and the prospect of dating him that asking certain things or speaking our minds in general becomes an actual fear/concern. We worry about chasing him away, saying the wrong thing, etc etc, even if the question is valid and pretty important. But once you realize that YOU are also the prize, it makes navigating dating so much easier. Ask the necessary questions without fearing the outcome, because if he has no real intention of investing in you or sticking around then it won’t matter if you are the shining definition of what a perfect girlfriend should be — he still would not stay.

[Opinion Owner]

Besides, it’s better to know now rather than investing more time and energy into this guy, when you could have your focus elsewhere.

[Asker]

Thank you so much. You've been so helpful. I appreciate it very much. You've helped me to reflect on things. It's gotten me so dragg3d down emotionally. In my gut, I feel he's playing me.

[DEondeBeaumont]

Pay attention to how he treats other people. Have a conversation with him and ask your friends about what he said to you. Your friends and family can see things from a different perspective and can give you insight.

[Asker]

My friend thinks he's playing me and is seeing g other woman

[Anonymous]

Same way you tell if a woman likes you.