New man I met doesn't care about my job. Is this normal?

[Anonymous]

I'm 24 and he's 36. He's the first man I've ever met that doesn't ask me about what I do for s living. He knows I work a lot and he asks me how my day was but he doesn't ask me what I do in my job. Instead, he only tells me how pretty I am and tells me he's interested in me. I know what he does for a living- contractor in construction (building homes) but he never asked me what I do. I just found it a bit off.

[MrOracle]

In the vast majority of cases, what a woman does for a living is irrelevant to a man, because in the vast majority of cases, he doesn't benefit from it in any way. And for a man looking for a serious relationship (marriage/kids), a woman with a career is actually a detriment - it LOWERS her value - because she's likely to focus on her career instead of being a mother - especially during her most fertile years.

You're surprised about this because you assume that men value the same things in women that women value in men. As a man, when I meet someone, I'm asked what I do within the first 3 questions, especially if it's a woman. A man's job/career is a big part of his value (or lack thereof).

From a man's perspective, a woman's career has ZERO value. NONE. Zip. Zilch. Nada. Because men aren't looking for a woman who is a provider - we're looking for a woman who is a NURTURER. We want a woman who is submissive to US, NOT to her her boss at work. Plus, it's very much the exception, rather than the rule, that a woman contributes significantly to the financial obligations of a couple. Most women see his money as "our money" and her money as HER money. Given this, why should a man care about a woman's career?

This is why a wealthy man is perfectly happy to wife up a young cashier or barista who still lives at home and makes $1000/month, rather than a 30-something making $100K a year. The former is FAR more likely to be able and WILLING to give the man a number of things he's looking for (which means her value to him is much higher), while the latter is far more likely to be both UNABLE and UNWILLING to give him what he's looking for.

Women need to get this through their heads: your career does NOT enhance your value to a man - if anything, it reduces your value. If you want to be single your whole life, then, hey, go for it. Prioritize your career. No one is stopping you. But don't expect men to change what they want, and don't expect them to value something that works against their own interests, because it's never going to happen. Instead, men will make you an EQUAL trade: his attention and perhaps a bit of his money/lifestyle in trade for sex - not a relationship, just sex.

[FilmGuy93]

That's extremely common, he's just more direct about it. Men basically don't give a shit about women's careers. It isn't attractive to us. The extent to which we'll ask about a woman's work is that we know y'all usually care a lot about it, so it's something to get you talking.

[Guy13]

It’s nice isn’t it ⁉️ I take that same approach as it is not necessary that she makes money. Basic intelligence, common sense, and good judgment are important. Hopefully, he’s what you hoped for 🙂

[Avicenna]

Well, even if a guy doesn't care about your income, it's still very unusual to not be interested in what you do for a living because it's a big part of your life and greatly affects your well-being.

[Smoothing]

It is very normal. But if you want a guy that takes interest in what you do, then you are dealing g with the wrong guy.

[Sandeeppingping]

I need a woman like him, I hate how I constantly have to lie about stealing from people

[Jenny-Marie]

He sounds rather self-centred, certainly not much interest in you.

[OG956]

Don't know in this case, but honestly I don't like this question (about job). There are more important things than what people do as a work (I mean normal work) and how many they make.

[Snakeyes7]

Yeah that's pretty normal. When looking for a particular, the job isn't very high on the priority list.

[Snakeyes7]

*partner

[Anonymous]

He is interested in your hole
Not in your mind hole

[spartan55]

We don't give a shit about your job.

[slatyb]

He's not all that interested

[KrakenAttackin]

Ok, so what do you do?

[BLP11520]

No not normal sounds fishy