Why do men laugh at me?

[Anonymous]

I am a 21 years old female.

A few days ago I got on a crowded bus that had no room for people to walk. I stood near the door through which I entered the bus and two guys in their early 20s were standing in front me. The moment they saw me, they looked at my face, whispered to each other, laughed and looked again. My friend, who was standing at a distance, asked me after we got down whether I knew them because she too saw them laughing at me.

This has happened multiple times. Another day, I was on the pavement. Cars and bikes were waiting on the road for the signal to turn green. My sixth sense told me that I was being stared and when I looked at the street, I saw a group of guys on a vehicle with no side walls staring at me. One of them was laughing. When I looked at them, his friends tried to stop him. However, the signal turned green immediately.

It keeps on happening. I often catch men staring at me, whispering to each other and laugh. And no it's not me who is exaggerating things. I can differentiate between people simply laughing for something that has nothing to do with me and people laughing at me.

I wear normal clothes and walk normally. So does that take place because I am ugly?

[Rockstarrrrr]

Some people come off as socially awkward and you get these childish clowns who try to make fun of them or mock them... These clowns are everywhere... I see some of them in pretty much every public place... Don't pay them any attention.. somebody that low isn't worth it... I know it can be really annoying and you might feel like you're being bullied.. But these are just clowns don't be offended

[Asker]

Thank you. Yes, I am socially awkward, very introverted. I hope that I would be able to ignore them in future.

[Anonymous]

I did this to a woman I used to work with. I saw her looking at me and I said to a buddy I worked with "hey, watch I bet I can make her all self conscious". And I told him to look at her and start giggling. So he did. And then she shouts at us why are you guys looking at me then giggling. And then I quietly said to him "see". And then he really started laughing.

The moral of the story? Why do you care! It's not like any of these people or thier opinions should matter to you.

[Asker]

Yes. But for socially awkward people like me who faces a lot of bodyshaming on a regular basis, behaviors like this do hurt them. I am way too careful about what people think about me and when I see them laughing and whispering to each other, looking at me, I really feel bad.

[Opinion Owner]

But that's my point. In this case I was teasing. I'm willing to bet most the time these guys are even laughing at you. You're overthrowing it and creating something that otherwise wouldn't exist.

[Opinion Owner]

Overthinking* not overthrowing*

[Asker]

Okay, but you did that once and to someone you knew before. But, this is not an one time thing for me, it just happens regularly. And these men aren't familiar to me, they are just strangers. They just stare at me, then whisper to each other and start laughing.

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah and what is the common denominator in all those instances? You! That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you. It means you're letting that s*** get into your head. That's what happens when you worry too much about what others think.

[Anonymous]

Ignore people. Most people are not worth the trouble.

[Asker]

Thanks.

[Anonymous]

Do you have a clown face?

(wearing a ridiculous amount of make up)

Or have you shaved off your eyebrows and then drawn them back on with a pencil?

[Asker]

Nope. I don't wear any makeup at all. Not even for special occasions. My skin is pretty light for my country's standards (we are brown) and sensitive. Plus, I hate putting on that much effort to appear a certain way. I don't own a lipstick either. People in my country usually don't wear makeup that much and therefore we don't feel pressurised to do it.

My eyebrows are natural. They are long and medium (neither thick, nor thin). I have never tried shaving or doing anything to them as I have been told by many people that they are quite aesthetically pleasing in their original shape.

[Opinion Owner]

Quote : I can differentiate between people simply laughing for something that has nothing to do with me and people laughing at me.

You seem to think this isn't just paranoia though that certainly would explain it.

Other than that Im not sure what to suggest but it seems likely to me that my lack of familiarity with your specific culture would prevent me from understanding the dynamics of your situation.

[Asker]

I can differentiate because I can see them actively staring at me when they do so. And, my friends or siblings often tell me that people are staring and laughing at me.

My culture has nothing to do with it. My friends go out too. They never face this.

[Opinion Owner]

Read what i said.

[Guy13]

What does your Mom say when you ask her about this?

[Asker]

She tells me not to pay them attention.

[Guy13]

Hey man…go with Mom. She’s been there and done “maybe” a few times 😎. I would ignore this crowd. Mom knows best 💪

[Asker]

Yes, thanks.

[Iron_Man]

I’m not sure depends what you look like How do you wear your make up

[Asker]

I don't wear makeup.

[KrakenAttackin]

More than likely you are attractive otherwise they would not notice you at all.

[Asker]

People stare at me a lot. I have heard that people stare at physically unattractive people too. And such things happen to physically unattractive people as well. Women don't behave this way with me, only men. I have even heard them telling each other to look at me.

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... People do not even notice unattractive people.

[Asker]

They do probably if that person is noticeably ugly. My friends tell me that they do this because I am very unattractive.