He acts boring and uninterested on text but wants to meet up & hang out with me. Why?

[Anonymous]

We did hook up before he didn’t want a relationship with me at the time and he will ask to call me every so often he got very jealous and bothered when I had a boyfriend but on text he acts almost like as if he isn’t interested treats me like a fan never ever says anything sweet or compliments me but then wants to hang out with me and everything and ask me for nud*es and asks to call me when he feels like it it’s weird. He told me on a call he wants to date me but I didn’t believe him…

[USMC-Crossroads]

This is a VERY common situation for guys to put girls in - especially if you are average looking (not ugly, but not a supermodel). The truth is, guys call this "keeping one in their back pocket." Basically, guys who are only a little confident, will keep contact with a girl for those nights when he gets shot down by some chick he wants, and goes to you for a boost of pride.

Furthermore, while he does want to have sex with you, he doesn't want it enough to put in all the traditional efforts of treating you like an angel (a show of respect in my country), and will instead, actually text you while jerking off, and usually guide the conversation to sexual stuff, hoping to get a pic of you he can cum to... then he will probably end the conversation abruptly; saying some bullshit like "Damn, I didn't realize it was so late!", or "Oh, sorry Honey, my sister is calling - I'll text you in a few."... and he never will - The next day saying "Sorry, sweetheart, I fell asleep".

In summation, he is using you. Which, in itself, is only a bad thing if he is leading you on, or saying some bullshit like "I love you as a friend." LIAR! Listen to me, Darling, if I loved you as a friend - I would NEVER treat you that way. Sure, I have had friend who I would 'have a little fun with,' but NEVER under any pretense, and ONLY if the desire to do so was reciprocal.

I am as Right-wing American boy as you can get, and we believe IT IS NOT OKAY TO TREAT WOMEN LIKE THAT! Women should be respected, protected, and admired... and no one should EVER take advantage of your emotions.

Maybe he actually loves you, maybe he sees you as a piece of ass, but either way you really need to find out which it is and move forward from there. You are only encouraging his behavior by putting up with his behavior. I know it feels nice to be desired at any level, but life is short and - I SWEAR TO MY CHRISTIAN GOD - you self-respect will keep you sleeping contently way more often that whatever that guys does for you.

My advice. Clean break. Just don't respond to any message unless he is treating you like you would want your mother or your daughter to be spoken to. I don't know a single thing about you, but I've heard this story so often, I'll bet you are much better catch than you think.

[Asker]

Yeah he friend zoned me it hurt and it hurts more now because well, he thinks he’s still has access to me he literally said to me if I get a boyfriend again will I still sleep with him when he comes to my city (he’s from america I’m from uk), but he tours here for work. When I got a boyfriend he posted things shading me “can’t make a wife out of a hoe” etc He’s not that attractive short, acne, skinny and whimpy looking but he has a amazing job out of sheer luck and a bit of online fame, I also know his body count is very low for a guy from that lifestyle. I don’t trust him but I don’t think he’s as bad as what it seems but I think either
1. He doesn’t get laid much so wants to keep that connection despite me being miles away, he doesn’t like me as more than a friends with benefits and the distance is his perfect excuse. He thinks he can get laid when he tours here next
2. He genuinely had fun with me hence why he keeps in touch and hang out but the distance is too much so he’s treating it casual

I don't know.. I told him I like him which I will never do again. I reckon if I just stopped giving him the time of day he’d realise how selfish he is

[USMC-Crossroads]

Don't have anything more to do with him! That is NOT how a real man act or treats a lady. And - listen carefully - HE WILL NEVER CHANGE! You need to know that you deserve better or at least need to demand more from your man if you hope to build a fulfilling life together. Doesn't matter who it is, but he won't take you seriously, unless you take you seriously. When we all grow up, we're alone more at first, but the rest makes up for it! You CAN do better. You DESERVE better.

[spartan55]

Yeah, but he won't delete your number so it's all for nothing, right? How do you know he is 'jealous and bothered'? Did he tell you that? What does that even mean? So now you have a boyfriend too? This fairy tale just never ends.

[Asker]

Me and the guy split up, mutual decision. He was jealous and bothered because he messaged me about a pic of me and my boyfriend together and asked me why I didn’t like him anymore and tried to get me talk to him behind my boyfriends back and he posted stuff like can’t make a wife out of a hoe etc to shade me. Told me whenever he’s in my city I’m his. That kind of stuff

[spartan55]

Yeah whatever