Is he ending what ever kind of relationship we have?

[liburnia]

First of all, we're both married. We began as friends, but somewhere along the way, we caught feelings for each other. Nothing physical ever happened between us. We know each other for 7 years.
For the last month or so, he reduced the communication to a minimum over the phone. When we see each other (never alone) we talk like we always did. We laugh and joke and all.
I tried talking to him and telling him that it was ok if he doesn't want to be friends anymore.
Today I asked if he's ending what we have and why he has to make it so hard to talk about it.
He said that he was not yet ready to talk but that everything is ok.
If you want to judge, please don't. It's hard enough as it is.
Thank you.

[Summeroflove]

If you’re married. It’s not over unless he divorced you

[liburnia]

I don't think you understand it the right way. He and I are not married to each other.

[Summeroflove]

Then you're cheating

[Summeroflove]

Even if there is no sex that is emotional cheating. You need to tell your husband and break it off between the two of you. Hopefully you can get things worked out with you being honest any not letting him find out later.

That is really shitty of you. To marry someone and make vows to him adn claim to love him

[Guardian45]

(1) was this ever a physically intimate relationship?
(2) why are you upset about it ending, if you are both married to different people?

[liburnia]

(1) It was never physical, no.
(2) We had a great friendship and I don't want to lose a person I can talk to about anything

[Guardian45]

Is your spouse NOT your best friend forever?

[liburnia]

No, he's my spose and that is something different. My love for him and my connection to him and my relationship with him is not the same as friendship.

[Guardian45]

Oh. I see. How long have you been married? Do you have children?

[liburnia]

Married for 19 years, together 23, have 2 kids

[Guardian45]

*whoa* maybe I'm doing something wrong, but I ALWAYS thought my spouse would be my best friend forever!

[liburnia]

I have a good marriage. We have our laughs, but problems as well. With friends is different, it's all a good time. That is the main difference.

[Guardian45]

Well, you've obviously done something right. But that begs the Q why didn't you marry your best friend?

[liburnia]

I married the guy I love, the one that was and still is good to and for me. The guy who loves me, even now when I don't love myself all that much. This other guy came into my life like thunder from a clear blue sky. Never expected or wanted something like that to happen.

[Guardian45]

Sounds like love to me, not friendship!

[liburnia]

What sounds like love and not friendship? My marriage?

[Guardian45]

Your friend like thunder

[liburnia]

Oh, that. Yes, I don't know what happened there. I never thought I could like some other man than my husband. But shit happens. I never thought this guy could catch feelings for me. I thought this friendship was safe. We introduced our spouses and it was all so innocent at first until it wasn't so innocent anymore. Even though there is nothing physical between us.

[Guardian45]

It sounds like there COULD BE a whole HELLA LOT between you, which may be why he's pushing temptation away, YOU!

[liburnia]

Yes, I know that. That is why I asked to talk and he said that he was not yet ready to talk, but everything is fine between us. I'll let him be. If he initiates the talk ok, if not it will all end. Even though I would like to remain, friends, if possible. I know I can do that, not sure if he can surpass his feelings.

[Guardian45]

Give him time and may be he can!

[liburnia]

Yes, I'll do that and hope for the best.

[Guardian45]

Thanks for MHG!

[fembotnpc777]

Why do you feel entitled to advice about how to hurt each other's spouses? You simply got karma. This isn't rocket science.