Are we doomed? I remind him of his ex?

[Anonymous]

I look like his ex, we apparently have the same interests and personality quirks. They were together for four years and then she left him due to religious reasons and her family not liking him (due to religious reasons). He said he met me and he's falling hard but his mind is getting scrambled because I am like her and he's tried not to think about her for years, he's been having one night stands and not getting into anything serious. He said its like I just took his dreams walked out of them. He wants a serious relationship with me, at the same time, he's trying to separate the two of us in his mind. Its confusing the heck out of him. He is terrified I will walk away from him before he gets it together. He said its like he is almost getting absecind chance and doesn't want to screw it up, but he also realizes I am a different person.

[lightbulb27]

yea, so that is emotional wounds influencing him, and that seems normal... but a problem. So he needs to heal those emotional wounds and put them into perspective. face what all that rejection meant to him, and then deeper... what happened as a child w his mom possibly. He may need help doing that in multiple ways... counselor, read book, God (he probably doesn'.. that was the problem.. doh... but that is a solution... e. g. find out what is blocking him from God), social support of friends, and resolving in his own heart. there are various techniques to resolve this stuff... discovery is part 1.

And then there is why he is drawn to you and your type... digging into the details. it isn't your blonde hair, it is deeper than that. it's probably an image of his mom or mother figure.

This one gonna be hard... but God is at work, like him, accept him, or not. I learned how attraction works...

[Asker]

How do you know so much?

[lightbulb27]

I've had my head in this topic for a few years after dating, having problems and counselors that couldn't help... and then repeating the same issues and severe pain. After the last one, I really dug in and started to see what is going on, how attraction works, the human condition, the truth in what Jesus said.. what is really going on. I learned the answers... no particular book, but there are many that an help. I'm trying to make videos on all this to help people. But how to fix it? I started digging in that and I'm working with someone who found ways to heal people of deep hurts that distort God, which is love. It is possible, all this makes sense now, but how to get it to peoples hands? hasn't been easy. The challenge is emotional programming... and that... human emotion... is an 800lb gorilla that doesn't want to change. And the challenge is the world and its ways.

Learn a little about God's vantage point, that is Jesus as image, love, and then look upon the human condition.. how it was warped. I can make sense out of parts of the Bible now that never made sense... like garden of eden story. It is humanity condition!

not sure if that helps, but bottom line... this stuff all makes sense. sadly, not convinced they teach it in school... even in psychology, etc.. due to separation of church state. It really isn't that complicated once you learn a few things about how we function. I wish we could setup a school to explain this to people... might improve lives.

[Asker]

How did you know I had blonde hair though?

[lightbulb27]

I formed an image in my mind of you and him and all that was clesr was your blonde hair and him brown. I just went w what i saw. Im not sure... gut instinct... intuition... 33% chance? Thank you for validating!

[Asker]

You are right about his hair color too. He freaked out when I told him what you said. I guess you are par for the course on the entire thing

[lightbulb27]

God is good! I dont know u or or photo... first time i can say i like anonomous! God sees past and beyond.. Tell boyfriend i think you ( both ) have a good thing. God which is love is working on him and has your back. And i wonder if there is unresolved stuff w his mom to work out to be set free. There is reason why i suspect that last part due to his strong reaction to rejection. If u get stuck lmk. And invite me to the wedding.

[lightbulb27]

😊 smiley

[Asker]

I have a question for you, its ok if you can't give me an answer. My cat died a couple months ago, I miss her terribly. Do you know if she is ok?

[lightbulb27]

Are you sure she died or is missing? My first resction was to question she died. It may very well be your cat is with you in spirit. Animals read our emotion and you know they sense connection and love. Science says nothing goes away... it just changes form. Science... quantum physics says all matter is light... energy. Jesus said we are made of light. Nothing disappears... its transformed to another energy state... that very essence... spirit of yoir cat is thus remains in the universe... does it not? So your cats love remains w you. I have a neat energy chart ill have to lookup. Thats my answer. P. s. i lost my cat 2 months back as well. Her 3 kids remain w me...

[lightbulb27]

The lie is that we are separated. Death makes usbthink that as we can't see and feel... thats garden of eden story... separation by emotion Its not trimue sonce love abounds thats Christs message in a nut shell

[Asker]

Thank you. She was my best friend

[lightbulb27]

You are getting quite the education off a subtle question. I thinkbyou are being prepared for higher purposes than you may yet realize. For whstever reason... you and i click well.. i feel no fear or shame so the communication is not distorted

[lightbulb27]

That's really sweet, they are individuals... cats... all are unique and we do have special bonds. Interesting I got that she was female as well, my senses are really good right now. Was she by chance a white color?
A stray black cat has adopted me recently, can't get near.

I'm sure there is some interesting things in regards to you/what you need to grow in all of this... boyfriend stuff. I saw you "just broke up". It is your choice. Relationships challenge us in a deep way. Obviously, he has some big challenges. But there is a "you" side to it as well to reflect upon.

[Asker]

I just need to update my profile, we actually just became official. Everyone who talks to me asks me about a white cat. I adopted a solid white cat immediately after my cat named Mila died.

[lightbulb27]

Congrats on the BF! I'm sorry to hear about losing Mila. What I envisioned was a white cat.
I often forget how odd all this is... your original question... how do I know. Its spiritual. I know nothing about you, I'm only responding to what I saw in this post and your main profile after you followed. I trust my sense right now to see what I feel/think and conveyed that. I am a little surprised I was so accurate given prior weeks I wasn't doing well or feeling good. I had some similar insights on someone else on another post yesterday... it was just a really good day for me whatever reason, hope it continues. best wishes.

[Asker]

You have been very accurate. I think you have a gift.

[lightbulb27]

Thank you, my "spirit of discernment" has been refined lately, happening more often. Thank you for the mho!

[tenukitanuki]

I'm not joking when I say this:

take some drugs together. An eighth of psilocybin for each of you one Friday night should do the trick. It's like taking a trip to The Wizard of Oz, in that you may find the courage, brains, or even your sense of self or home by the end of your 8 hours. You can mix the dry fungus in a lime & water soda to "improve" potency.

I don't think any of my girlfriends have ever looked similar, lol. I've seen people who remind me of various past lovers for, reasons, but I also understand your man's dilemma. He was avoiding a serious thing because he's still a bit shaky like an abused dog at the shelter.

Anyway, drugs are your catalyst. Use them or argue with the idea of using them. It'll just take longer and be harder to take the same journeys. You've got nothing to lose but $100 and an evening.

[XRabbitHeartX]

It is one thing to look like a ex or have similar interests but if he was over her, theoretically it should not be bothering him that you 2 resemble each other. He still seems to have feelings for her otherwise he wouldn't care that you 2 are similar.

[Asker]

He hasn't thought about her in a long time. The more time he spends with me, I'm bringing some of those memories back.

[XRabbitHeartX]

If he was over his ex, he would be focused on building a future with you en enjoying new memories with you. Not be thinking of memories with his ex.

[abc013]

You should decide how it makes you feel to be a constant reminder or someone in his past.

[pleasestopthis]

Seems like he is not over his ex and you remind him of her. It is like being her again.

[OlderAndWiser]

He is not confused. He is excited that you remind him of his ex and he feels guilty about that, knows that it is the wrong reason to be in a relationship with you.

[sean1234]

There are at least some similarities of ladies I found attractive. 2 coincidentally worked at the same store. If I did date a girl that looked like another one I like a lot, I would just pray I didn't call my new girl by my old ones name by accident because they seemed a little similar.

[jss123]

I do have a type but I would never date someone who reminds me of my ex like that or date someone who confuses someone to that extent as he is confused. He definitely needs professional help. Regard this as a red flag. You need to be guarded as you really could get very hurt. You are your own person.

[Twalli]

If you are like his minus the religion thing, I would go for it if I were him. Clearly he was super into her, probably why he found you attractive in the first place. If you won't leave for the same reason and you are doppelgangers then you and he have a real chance at happiness.

[andreasderjuengere]

He was open enough to let you know this. That looks thoughtful to me. As long as you look ahead, the 'behind' does not look like a threat. Everyone has a past; but the future only can be modelled.

[Jan_Classic]

I heard 1000 of stupid excuses. You're to check if he's playing with you while dating other girls.

[i_am_tbjxii]

He ain’t over her 🤷🏽‍♂️ he should be talking about how different you are and the qualities that made him attracted to you. Not his ex 🤦🏾‍♂️

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he dates you cause you remind him of his ex.

[boggboss]

Sounds like you are a replacement

[Secret6620]

Possibly I hope not. 👍😇

[whitehide]

Maybe he just has a type

[MannMitAntworten]

Run! This is a problem you do not want.