Any chance we come back to what we had before or should I forget him?

[Anonymous]

Three months ago, I met a guy on one of the apps I use. We spent hours talking. Really about everything and nothing. A bit about work, a bit about relationships, hobbies, and plans for the future. Actually, we didn't even flirt.

A few days ago, I came to the realization that I love him. I decided not to tell him yet. But during one of the conversations, I felt so good and told him. He reacted badly. That it was never about love for him, that he doesn't want any relationship.

Today, we don't talk anymore. He doesn't have time or replies once a day. I feel guilty. I stopped logging in so he wouldn't feel obliged to contact me. I have never really fallen in love before. And when it finally happened, it was one sided.

I don't know why he is so against a relationship. I don't know if the problem is with me, my appearance or character, or something else. Maybe he had some bad experiences and just needs space. Maybe a complicated situation. I only have my guesses.

Should I close my account on the app? Write him something or better not?

[Skinhead-1979]

Difficult to say something... but that would most likely be the reaction a female would get from me if she would tell me she is interested in or love me.

It would not be the female's fault... I am too broken and damaged to see myself as relationship material, and while I still admire females and there is no distrust towards them... There is massive distrust to the words "I love you" and "Relationship".

So even without knowing the guy you have been talking to... nor you for that matter... I do dare to say it is not you.
I do think it is best if you leave him alone... I think if you would you chase after him, he could only react more hostile towards you.

[Skinhead-1979]

I need an edit option!!!

I want to be able to edit out my mistakes in comments/ replies...

[Asker]

Actually, I don't think he ever told me he didn't want a relationship. When we talked about future plans, he mentioned both children and marriage. Of course, never in the context of me.

[Skinhead-1979]

Maybe he is just not ready for a serious commitment then

[Skinhead-1979]

Looking at myself... I have always known that I wanted to get married and have kids, but I had to be ready for that.

I felt ready for that kind of serious commitment when I was nearly 30 and moved in with my ex who, at that time, had a 1 year old daughter. 10 months later my son got born too.

I've never regretted any of it... other than that I had my son with a 'Black Widow'.

[TommyMountainFigure]

I can offer a potential explanation for his lack of wanting a relationship. I have platonic friends of both sexes and have no desire for any sort of relationship as I'm happily married..

If I was in his shoes, the first thing I would have told you is 'I'm married and not looking for anything but friendship..'
Is it possible he told you he was married and you forgot? Or that perhaps he neglected to mention it?

That being the case, you've done nothing wrong and neither has he!

[Asker]

He's not married or in any relationship.

[TommyMountainFigure]

Could he be gay?

[IslaTheWitch]

oh my...

I'm sorry... it must be quite hard for you... if you need closure, you can try to talk to him... but I have a feeling that even if it was about you... he wouldn't tell you...

I wish I knew what to do in such a situation...

[Nikki1989]

Move on already and meet someone else. Men are a dime-a-dozen.

[AI Opinion]

Oh, love, the rollercoaster ride you're on sounds like a heady mix of heart-flutters and heartaches. Falling for someone, especially when treading on the exhilarating yet terrifying ground of 'app world,' is nothing short of a bold move. But here’s a sprinkle of my flirtatiously forged wisdom for you. ❤️

First off, let’s acknowledge the courage it took to express your feelings. That’s like stepping on stage at karaoke night, mic in hand, ready to belt out your soul. It’s brave, and regardless of the outcome, you deserve a standing ovation for your honesty.

Now, regarding Mr. Right-Now-Feels-So-Wrong, it’s clear his reaction was a cocktail of cold water and confusion over your warm heart. His pushback on the thought of a relationship, paired with the sudden communication gap, speaks volumes. It's waving red flags like a matador in a bullfight.

Should you close your account? Nah, don’t let one not-so-great chapter dictate the entire story of your online saga. The app isn't the villain; it's just the stage where this particular play unfolded.

Reaching out again? Picture this: you’re holding a rose, and each attempt to reconnect is like plucking a petal — "He loves me, he loves me not." Instead of trying to pluck answers from a garden that’s shown you its colors, why not invest your love and time in a garden that’s eager to grow with you?

Remember, it’s not about your appearance, character, or anything being ‘wrong’ with you. Relationships, much like dance floors, work best when both parties are into the same rhythm. Sometimes, it takes a few dance partners to find the one who matches your tempo.

So, put on those dancing shoes, love. The right partner is out there, ready to glide into a salsa, tango, or maybe a quirky flash mob in the rain with you. In the meantime, embrace your journey of self-love and discovery. Who knows? The next "hello" could lead to an endless love song. Keep your head up and your heart open. 💕

[Avicenna]

If it hasn't happened yet, it probably will never happen

[OlderAndWiser]

Did you ever meet this guy in person?

[spartan55]

Are you sure he's not married, or in a relationship? Always perform your due diligence up front.

[Asker]

I'm very sure.

[noohair]

I think that you are at different points in your life journey. Why would you want to continue to do something that caused you to love him? He is not ready. You can't change him. The only person you have any chance of changing is yourself.

[Iron_Man]

You can try again

[In_Trance]

Forget him