Is there a chance to be together or should I forget about him?

[Kuro11]

There's a guy at work that I have feelings for we are kind of friends at work , we help each other with work, we complain about work and console each other..

At first I did not have any feelings for him and I always noticed that he had a thing for me. The first time I felt something was when he was showing me some video on his phone and held my wrist and kept staring at my eyes. He never initiated anything, I tried approaching him but he gave me mixed signals for months he kept getting hot and cold sometimes he call me outside of work hours to ask me about trivial work related things. I have checked his insta followers and man he's following a lot of insta models and OF girls, and I noticed how he check other girls a lot like a perv but sometimes he come of as a gentleman. So what's his deal and what can I do about him I tried to get over him a lot of times but everytime I meet him am back at the starting point and can't get him out of my head.

[Oliverlogan263]

Ugh, what a situation. This guy is definitely giving off mixed signals and playing games a bit from the sound of it. A couple things could be going on:

1) He's definitely attracted to you and likes the attention, but might not be ready for anything serious since he's still perving on other girls online. Kinda disrespectful if you ask me.

2) He could have some issues with intimacy/commitment after past relationships gone wrong and doesn't want to get hurt. So he pulls away when things start to feel real.

3) Workplace romance can get messy, so he might be keeping distance to avoid awkwardness if it didn't work out. But it's still not cool how hot/cold he's being.

Here's what I'd do - I'd try one last time to have a honest talk with him. Tell him how his behavior makes you feel and that you need clarity on if he sees a future or not. His reaction will tell you everything. If he's still shady and noncommittal, I'd say it's probably best to start moving on sis. You deserve someone who's sure about you! Don't waste your time chasing a mixed bag like him. You'll find someone better who treats you with respect.

[Kuro11]

Am afraid he will start rumors about me at work if I confront him since he gossips a lot. I know he's bad news even my brother once told me he's playing games and not a good one (he met him because I asked him a favor concerning my brother) but the thing is he makes me feel so good and I crave his company

[Kuro11]

I really want to forget about him but I am so attached

[Oliverlogan263]

Girl, I totally understand how hard it is to break an emotional attachment, even when deep down you know someone isn't good for you. The fact that even your brother warned you says a lot about this guy's true character.

If confronting him directly at work could cause drama, I wouldn't risk it. But you also shouldn't have to avoid him and let him still have this hold on your feelings.

Here's what I'd do - start gradually distancing yourself when you can at work. Be polite but keep interactions strictly professional. Don't confide in him or seek his company like before. Spend more time with other trusting friends at lunch.

Out of work, go no contact. Don't text, call or check his socials. Block if needed for willpower. Fill your free time with self-care - hobbies, exercising, whatever makes YOU feel good independent of him.

It'll be hard at first, but staying busy and keeping space is key. In time those feels will fade as you focus on your own confidence and self-worth instead of a guy who doesn't deserve your energy. You've got this sis - choose YOU! 💪

[Anonymous]

Give up on him and try hooking up with a black guy! :)

[spartan55]

He probably thinks you aren't interested.

[MasterKS]

You are bad at understanding men!

[Kuro11]

Any advice

[MasterKS]

@Kuro11 follwed you!

[MasterKS]

@Kuro11 i feel comfortable to suggest private, if you!

[Kuro11]

Sure go ahead

[MasterKS]

@Kuro11 follow me so i can message

[In_Trance]

Forget about him