Do we have a future together or should I really forget about him?

[Anonymous]

I met my long distance ex boyfriend around February. Very soon, we started calling each other, video calling, playing games, talking at night. We both fell deeply in love. However, we both had our issues, I started feeling neglected many times and I nagged him about needing more attention. He started being very inflexible about certain things. And to sum up, we were having lots of discussions. I also started feeling alone, specially when we were on a video call, it was very hard to see him in a camera and not be able to touch or feel that person. And the distance as a problem, made a solvable situation seem unsolvable: after a reconciliation we couldn't hold hands, hug or kiss. It came to a point, after six months, that he left me saying it was better, that he felt bad about not being able to provide what I need from the distance and that he would try to contact me again once he could come and visit me. However, after he left me, we came back many times and broke up many times. We tried to keep ourselves away from each other, but for whatever reason it wasn't possible. Until one day he got fed up, and went no contact definitively. We didn't have any communication for about three months. I started meeting new guys in real life, hanging out with them, doing my master's degree in order to keep myself busy, but still, there were lingering feelings within myself of deep sadness. I couldn't entirely attach to any of those guys I met. After these three months though, one day we both texted each other. He texted to my old number not knowing I didn't have it anymore, and I texted him. He called me and we started talking. We kept the whole night talking. He said he was missing me, he missed talking to me, he still had feelings for me. And we talked for hours about his life, my life, what had changed. I was happy to hear his voice. However, I felt so bad afterwards. I regretted my decision of answering his call. I don't know what to do at this point.

[Lorewolf447]

Ok, I'll admit you two sound like you really care for each other. However my instincts say don't do it because you'll end up just repeating the cycle. However if you really want to try it again, here is my advice:

You two need to have a real deep talk about your relationship from the start to where it is now. There are problems in your relationship that need to be addressed for you two to make it work, which is highlighted by the numerous times you two broke up and got back together. You need to tell him your issues about feeling neglected, feeling alone and the issues of a lack of physical intimacy (I'm don't mean sex, I'm referring to the lack of hugging, touching, kissing, cuddling, etc... ).

At the same time he needs to tell you his problems and issues so you both can work them out. And please, no matter how hard or harsh they may be, talk about them. If you can't then the relationship isn't going to work. Heck you may work them out and it still may not work. But if you do put for this effort, you two will have a better chance at making it work than most couples do.

[Carolmille]

I think you should let him go. Seems like you’ve been on and off for so long. If this was meant to be of you would have moved a long time ago. Still feels like none of you is ready to relocate. I’d suggest you save yourself from this emotionally roller coaster. Let him go. Let yourself go.

[In_Trance]

forget about him