How do u know if you should marry someone?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend wants to marry me.

He's giving me time to think about it. I told him mayb in 2yrs or so. He's totally okay with the time frame because he wants to buy a house.

How do you know if they are the one? Sometimes I feel like he is. Sometimes I don't. I can't tell if it's normal. Am I suppose to be totally 200% sure 100% of the time?

He treats me well. He provides for me emotionally spiritually etc. Every way imaginable. He's loving attentive caring.

He's not perfect and neither am I. He's my best friend.

Majority of the time I am excited about our future together.

The other time I'm kind of nervous. But the idea of being with someone else feels wrong. Feels off. Feels boring. Feels scary. Is it attatchment? I love him I really do.

When I was younger I thought it was something a little more dramatic. But this Feels really real. I want to wake up with each other and go places together and just cook together.

Sometimes he can be immature. And clingy. But I can't tell if it's red flags or cold feet.

I keep thinking it will get better. I'm not bashing anyone I'm just saying the men I've dated seem to have emotional vulnerability issues

They have no idea how they feel. And tend to just shut down when overwhelmed with emotions. Also selfish and impatient.

But the thing is

My current boyfriend difference is he actually tries. He knows he's terrible at listening to advice. He knows he struggles to express his emotions well 100% of the time. Who does? No one I know. I sure don't. But he apologizes and makes effort to change.

I'm just really looking forward to being together forever

I'm just curious to see how other people knew it was the one. Are doubts and concerns normal? Am I excusing real red flags? I'm sort of scared.

Happy. Nervous. Scared. Uncertain.

Does this mean I don't love him? I feel like I do. I care for him so much.

[Oliverlogan263]

It's totally normal to have some doubts and nerves about getting married! I think as long as majority of the time you're excited about your future together, that's a good sign. A couple things that stood out to me:

- It's good he tries to listen and improve when you talk about issues, that shows maturity. Not everyone will be perfect.

- The fact that being with someone else seems wrong is also a plus. That connection is important.

- Having some space for the next 2 years is smart so you can really think it through without pressure.

As for red flags, only you'd know if they're dealbreakers or little things you can work on. Clinginess could be annoying but isn't necessarily a red flag on its own.

Overall it sounds like you really care about each other and work as a team. No one feels 200% certain all the time. Take your time, trust your gut, and don't feel rushed. Keep talking it out and see how you both grow individually and as a couple before making your decision. But it seems promising!

[In_Trance]

How long have you been together?