My baby daddy has cut me off just because I asked him to stop telling me too much about his life?

[Anonymous]

Me and my son's dad are not together.

We, only, organize visits through Facebook contact.

Any way-He says he loves our son but 75% of the time he hasn't gone through with his end of getting to the visits, for our son.

This week, he sent me a message saying 'Hey, I've been asked to work, on the same day that we organized the visit, I really need the money so I said yes, can we do the visit the next day, instead?

I replied 'From now on if you can't make visits I just want you to say 'I can't make the visit this week' and nothing else, I don't need to hear about you or what's going on in your life cause, quite frankly, I don't care about either so, you can't make the visit? Just say 'I can't make the visit this week' and we can do one the following week'.

My baby daddy messaged back 'f#*k off and leave me alone' and has cut off all forms of contact and doesn't even want to organize any visits anymore.

What is his deal?

[Sparkie460]

He was just telling you why he can't make the visit. Most people like to hear a reason. I guess he got mad that you didn't care what the reason was so he cut you off. It seems like he doesn't care about his son as much as he says he does

[Asker]

Thank you for your comment. It was a bit harsh on my end but I've been hearing different excuses for 7months now as our son is only just over 7months old, I am sick of the different excuses, can't be bothered hearing them any more but I guess I could of been a bit nicer about it, that's how I feel as well, he's only ever made It to 3 of the 28 visits we have tried to organize, different excuses every time, so sick of it, love requires effort so, don't think he loves him either. Thanks for your opinion and your help.

[Sparkie460]

Are these visits set by the courts? Does he pay you child support every month? I can understand your frustration. 3 visits in 7 months is a really bad track record

[Asker]

I have tried time and time again to get him to do mediation, so that we can get visits put down on paper, because so much of my time is being wasted because of his swapping and switching things around the time, but he says he will not do mediation. I have a lawyer and have also done a parenting course, I've had mediators try to reach out to him multiple times on two different occasions in the past 3months. I'm almost giving up on him entirely. He says he loves him and begs me to keep giving him chances and to not involve lawyers or courts or mediators, but, I'm sick of all of this. Yep, 7months where I've had to constantly change and rearrange days and cancel plans of my own just to acomodate him, just to have him not show up again! He's wearing my patience thin😬

[Sparkie460]

Go to court and sue him for child support and full custody. I can understand he couldn't make it once in awhile but 3 out of 28 is ridiculous. It upsets me when a parent doesn't want to be a part of a child's life. It's the most amazing feeling. My first child was a surprise but I stepped up and did everything I could to be the best father to the child I helped create.

It sounds like you're doing everything you can to be a great mom. Unfortunately I think you'll raise the child by yourself without his help.

[Asker]

I will. I'm done with all of this. He hasn't even done a single child support payment in 7months 😥
Yep, all different excuses every time too. We have some of the same friends and they all showed me photos of him at parties and with friends when he had just finished telling me that he couldn't make a visit because he was 'terribly sick'. His best friend told me he doesn't even work so all his work excuses are all rubbish. I can't handle all the lies anymore, I really wanted my son to have his two parents but I've done all I can.
Thank you so much! I will do my best😊 I wish my son's father was more like you! My son is so beautiful and amazing it breaks my heart that his Dad doesn't want to put in effort for him but I'll make sure he is loved 😊 Thanks for your help!

[Sparkie460]

Thanks for the mho. I hope everything works for you and I hope you get the child support from your sons dead beat dad.