Crush weird in group settings?

[Anonymous]

First thing to say is he already knows I like him. He said he just wanted to be friends and I told him it would be better if we distanced while I still like him.

We share friends which makes that a bit hard, but honestly there's no bad feelings (from my side), so I at least try to act natural while respecting his space. It creates a weird dynamic where we're in the same conversation but not DIRECTLY talking to each other.

However, I DO try to engage/react normally to what he says. there's no reason for me to blank him. I'll listen, laugh, etc.

He doesn't seem able to do the same for me, though. if I'm speaking he'll obviously look away, disengage, pull out his phone. the other day at a party one of our friends was laughing and playing with my dress and he actually TURNED AWAY. i feel like that makes things even more awkward and I'm afraid our friends will notice.

it's also not great for me tbh. i already feel bad about being rejected but wasn't expecting him to be so emotional. why does he appear so upset/annoyed? is he really just more awkward than i understood?

[Anonymous]

Yea I think he feels more awkward than he realized. Also I think he is trying to respect your boundaries by putting more distance even if that means acting really bizarre around you.

If you talked to him about it, would he change? I also wonder if you tell him you don't need space anymore would he go back to acting normal or still act strange? He might need time too.

If it's possible and if you are ok with it maybe you could take a break from hanging out with friends for like a week just to allow yourself space and time to heal without needing to see and react to him.

His heart is definitely not in the wrong place. I think he's trying really hard to be respectful and that means acting like a weirdo around you though.

But I understand that this can be frustrating and I'm sorry that he lacks the social graces of not knowing how to be around you. Be strong! It'll get better over time! :)

[Asker]

i still want a certain distance tbh. I'm just trying to act natural in the group. i completely understand him feeling a bit weird but its actually funny how awkward he's being. we have one more thing on at NY and he'll probably be there. I'll try to get him into the convo a bit more. after that we can take a break from each other

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like a good plan. Good luck!

[KathrynTaylor]

He doesn’t know how to handle himself around you and he’s rudely rejecting you. Be polite but distant.

[Anonymous]

I think he's afraid to be himself in settings like that, and he's also very shy.

[Asker]

he's not shy at all is the thing. usually. i think he's just uncomfy

[Opinion Owner]

I agree, that sort of setting probably makes him nervous.

[Anonymous]

How bizarre