Should I complain about my ex trainer touching my glute or leave it?

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

Honestly I was telling my friend about how I’m over the crush and I told her I guess it developed but looking back he was creepy.

he touched my butt once like actually cupped it and another time he was sticking his hands out whilst I was squatting and going “to there” “to there” and actively touching my butt cheek with his fingers other little things like grabbing my lower back during certain exercises my friend said complain. But I think it could be too late plus I did end up crushing on him so they probably wouldn’t take me serious

[spartan55]

Why you even entertaining this? What would be your goal? For him to lose his job? Get him arrested for sexual assault? Wtf...

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

If my intention was either of that I would’ve just went and did it instead of asking strangers on here. What do you think, I should just accept it in the past and let it slide? I wouldn’t want police involved obviously that’s a bit extreme

[spartan55]

So, again, what is your intention on this? Another stunt to get girlfriend to leave? You never mentioned this before, and now it's a problem? That gives you little credibility.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

Wait, so you think it’s professional for him to do that? Plus I’m honestly doubtful his girlfriend would find out, if is not like he is going to tell her

[spartan55]

She would if you told her.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

My intention is to get him for realise touching, flirting with clients is not okay. If it wasn’t for constantly touching and flirting with me I can assure you I wouldn’t have developed that crush I had

[spartan55]

I like how you keep ducking my question. Your non-answer is telling.

[spartan55]

It's not okay... unless it's with you... right?

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

It’s never okay to touch someone’s ass without consent especially not someone you don’t know so well

[spartan55]

So, why was it okay before you quit getting trained?

[spartan55]

Just stop with the righteous bullshit.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

I just think he had no right to do that to me is all

[motownplayer2000]

I’ve had trainers and have actually been a trainer in the past. Trains do “touch” there clients to help them keep form and give instruction while training. Him flirting with you isn’t his fault. However, if you expressed to him you were not comfortable with it, then that’s when it becomes a problem, but you mentioned you had a crush on him which means at the time you were perfectly fine with it. Which would lead me to assume, he did something you didn’t like (I. e turned you down in someway, or something embossing, etc..) to where now you are creeped out and are saving face. I’m not going to belittle you, I just need to know both sides of this story before I personally believe that his is an asshole. Cause that usually never happens. We blindly think that ALL women are victims and that’s mostly true, but there are lots of instances where the woman lied to ruin dudes rep. Not saying that’s you, I’m just saying, I would love to know his story first before judging.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

@motownplayer2000 I complained about it already. Just because I had a crush on someone does NOT mean they can touch me? That’s literally assault

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

@motownplayer2000 how would you feel if you had a male trainer who touched your butt twice and he was gay?

[motownplayer2000]

@Bekaaaaaaaahhh I’ve had a male trainer touch my butt, but not in that way, he was simply making sure my form was correct. I’ve also been trained by a female who has done the same. I’ve worked as a trainer and done those things. It’s not uncommon is the point.

You said you complained about it. Did you request a new trainer right afterwards? Did you stop the session and let him know you were completely uncomfortable and decide it wasn’t worth it to continue with how you felt? I’m just trying to get a sense of this, you are correct, just because you had a crush doesn’t mean he has the right to touch you. But all I’m saying is if you didn’t have a problem enough for you to take drastic measures to stop it as soon as it happened, why is it all of a sudden a problem now… when did it start and when did you complain/request a different trainer?

[motownplayer2000]

There is nothing wrong with how you felt, I’m just trying to see why you justify complaining now since your post literally said, “looking back…” which means at that moment it was happening and the evidence you gave as you “had a crush…” meant you were ok wit it at the time. Again, it’s ok to change your mind, however, complaining now and trying to get this man ousted now, is the problem.

[Anonymous]

You do know that personal trainers do touch there clients to get them to use better form…. Here is my question did you let him know that you were not comfortable with him touching you? Did you request a different trainer? If you didn’t those things that prove you were disgusted then, why would you now start complaining. It’s just interesting to hear when things get started without knowing the full intentions of what he was doing. There is always two sides to a story.

[JamesDiaz11]

Most personal trainers choose their job because it permits them close proximity with the opposite sex, in a sexually charged environment. I'm not saying they're categorically sexual predators at all, but most male personal trainers definitely enjoy "training" attractive women.

There is a touch barrier than is often up when people start dating, where you have to eventually make the person comfortable enough to cross it, but in the personal training world it's "acceptable" to go around this barrier as it's "non-sexual." Clearly, him touching your butt was sexual- a man touching a woman's ass is inherently sexual, especially if it's on purpose, and done repeatedly.

Was it inappropriate? Absolutely, but it's also completely normal in that world, and he has a get out of jail free card because that's part of "training." There's no easy remedy, but if you actually feel he was being inappropriate then bring it to his attention in a non-accusatory way, and suggest he ask before touching a female client so other women don't feel uncomfortable (some may not mind his touching, or even want it, but others will feel uncomfortable and never say anything).

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

I honestly wondered why he always sheduled me and his only other female clients all on the one day back to back, they where also attractive, was kind of weird or was almost like he did it on purpose but it could be coincidence I decided to stop our sessions as when I was squatting he had to walk away rubbing his face and left me there, and then when he came to “help” instead of actually taking the weight from me he let me sit there bouncing up and down trying to get up until I panicked and grabbed the safety bars with one hand on the weight trying to stand up he just kind of cared more about getting his kicks out of me it seemed. His pupils where always dilated like he was on drugs when I did certain movements too. I’m not big headed I know he behaves this way with the other two pretty woman he trains maybe next time I will get a female coach.

[JamesDiaz11]

Men and women are sexual creatures, and despite our current myth of equality/ sameness we cannot be around each other without the presence of sexuality. If you want to improve your body solely, I'd suggest you do so with a female trainer.

[Anonymous]

You're going to ruin his life because of some made-up fantasy in your head. You're were in love and making stuff up because you were mad he didn't want you.

Leave the poor man alone. He was just doing his job.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

I mean at the time it happened my female friends did tell me it was screwed up but i ignored them because I thought he was doing it to engage the muscle? Till I spoke to my male friend that coaches and he said they actually have a policy against it im not making up stuff? How do you think I fell for him he was always touching and flirting with me if it wasn’t for that I would’ve have been in lust he’s physically not my type he’s literally ginger ir was the attention

[Opinion Owner]

Even if he did touch you, I am pretty sure he only did it because he wanted to help you. He sounds like he was good to you. Is that really a reason to hurt him? If he tried to rape, okay, then report him. But if he was willing to go out of his way and risk losing his job for you, is that really a reason to ruin his life?

He didn't try to rape you or anything, and you didn't mind it, so what is the problem?

[Opinion Owner]

But if you did say stop, he kept doing it, then yes, you should report him.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

How it is a made up fantasy in my head ? When did he ever say he didn’t want me? Lol listen I don’t think he should’ve touched me and there is consequences to actions

[Opinion Owner]

Alright, fair enough. Report him.

[Summeroflove]

If you feel he was doing it intentionally to be creepy. Yeah I would complain.

[Bklynbadboy12]

I just have one question why didn't you complain about it then was it because you liked him?

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

I didn’t know it wasn’t allowed and also I had already paid for him

[spartan55]

Of course that's why.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

@spartan55 no man is allowed to touch me there or any other personal area without consent

[spartan55]

Your morals seem to change according to your own situation.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

@spartan55 I actually already said at the time I was shocked and uncomfortable hence why I told my friends and was worried about it

[Bklynbadboy12]

@Bekaaaaaaaahhhh Your right no man is allowed to touch you without your permission

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

@spartan55 I find it crazy how you think it’s okay for a professional to touch a young woman on her butt not once but twice and your reasoning is because I had a crush on him like no that’s not okay

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

How would you feel if your trainer was a gay male and touched your butt on two separate occasions?

[spartan55]

I never said it was okay, and it isn't. But you are trying to cloud the issue, and trying to shift the blame. Do I need to remind you that you sent him a boob pic AFTER he 'violated' you. Gimme a fucking break already.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

@spartan55 months after also i deleted it before he seen it also I didn’t send it to him at his place of work let’s just agree to disagree

[spartan55]

Sure, you did nothing wrong. It's all his fault. Guys need to stay away from you, you can lie and obfuscate with the best. You don't fool me though.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

@spartan55 I did do nothing wrong I didn’t start flirting with him at all till he did. Guys don’t need to stay away from me I’m an amazing person, and many could confirm that. I don’t know why you dislike woman so much I didn’t lie at all, I’d hate to meet a guy like you, your very quick to assume the wrong in the wrong.

[spartan55]

People who are amazing never have to point out they are amazing. You did plenty wrong, and you admitted as much in other posts! But NOW you are just going to pretend all that didn't happen... smh... you are something else.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

@spartan55 I didn’t do anything to provoke him touching me him touching me is the worst of all of this for one

[spartan55]

Sure thing.

[spartan55]

Keep adding to your fable. Now he had dilated eyes...😂 😂 Please.

[Bekaaaaaaaahhhh]

@spartan55 it’s not a lie literally where you there?

[Bklynbadboy12]

@Bekaaaaaaaahhhh I just messaged you go read it

[Anonymous]

Did he ever handle your boobs?