Why do men choose to manipulate women for sex instead of just being honest what if we want the same thing as you? why must you hurt us emotionally?

[Anonymous]

Why treat us as delusional trash

[Effably]

There are so many answers to this, because the question is very wide.

To some it is never meant as anything bad.
Others intentionally mess with the emotions to get their fix.


Miscommunication?
A lot of us assume we were on the same page. In a dating scenario, chasing has nothing to do with liking each other as people or building a relationship. I think most guys assume you understand that when making us chase. And so a guy chasing you intensely is only being a good sport about your game. It is about lust, not affection. Of course if they are confused, it will seem manipulative.

[Guy13]

I’m not sure where you are but I’ve got guy friends that are exactly upfront about it. And I’m like, you still get laid after that…Then I have to listen to diarrhea of Scottish accent alpha wanking stories.

I bet you that with most guys, honesty has never gotten them anyplace but road kill

[Anonymous]

Men who do that have no respect for women nor for themselves. They just use women and they can't form normal and healthy relationships. Perhaps they like hurting women and women don't matter to them.

[Anonymous]

A lot of men just use women up and once they have had their fix, they disappear.

[Asker]

Yes but why, why can’t they just be honest about what they want and how they feel. Why is it hard? I still don’t understand why

[FilmGuy93]

Many times what we want from a woman changes as the relationship progresses. Post nut clarity realizations aren’t a planned thing.

[ohsheeT]

Well you're looking at it all wrong in reality he's telling you who he is and what he's all about and he doesn't even know it so when that happens just walk away there's 150 million guys out there it will just try it straight up tell you I like you let's fuck no manipulation no bullshit and if they're just starting the manipulation out at the beginning of the relationship just think what it's going to be like in the middle of the relationship

[SnowedIn]

Not all of them do though. This is the same as asking why women can't be more direct instead of playing coy and hard to get. For the record, that's not what I believe -- my point is that not all men are like that.

[Calculated_Guess]

I don't know.

I guess some people (Men and women) are either users, or they change their minds about someone and move on.

[Asker]

I get and understand that but let’s say that I was already asking the question of are we a thing or is this just sexual. You tell me it’s more than sex. After a few messages and a phone conversation you didn’t like you chose to quickly judge me and then ghosted me for 3 days even when I told you I experienced that similar situation before you. So why do it?

[Calculated_Guess]

I can't speak for the guy in your example. In my life I've had mostly long-term relationships and I'm the type who doesn't give up on them easily.
The only thing I can think of is that you could try to look at it from the outside. You said "After a few messages and a phone conversation he didn't like, he judged you and ghosted you."
That seems like you guys are having compatibility issues early on, and you may have to decide if you want to stick around for more of that, or part ways?

[Asker]

I don't know maybe I’m projecting you people are very helpful though I do appreciate it. I guess I’m just tired of being blamed for their issues as they continue to find fault with me. 🙇🏾‍♀️🙇🏾‍♀️ I love too much to be hurting this badly ☺️. I parted ways and he called me childish for it.😅😅

[Calculated_Guess]

I'm sorry to hear that it didn't work out.
Sometimes relationships work and other times people don't get each other. It's hurtful but
every experience teaches you something.
Good luck in your future.

[Asker]

I appreciate your wisdom 🙇🏾‍♀️🙇🏾‍♀️ and I’m bettering myself in order to never be put in a situation like that again 😅😅 I think I’m done with flattering words and people.

[Anonymous]

Why do women look at it that way? Are you not getting satisfaction from the sex too? I don't understand how you feel you are being "used" for sex if you are enjoying it too. Are you not "using" him in the same way?

[hhhffg7889]

They don't realize how annoying you truly are until that post nut clarity.

[Asker]

And no because you know nothing about me. If im already telling you the exact person I am at the end of the day if you didn’t want it why invest in it. Any they got mad at my friends and said that it showed my age granted my friends were his age. The action of my friends are not a reflection of me or the person I am. So food for thought ☺️ whether I’m annoying or a complete mess I’m up front with it.

[hhhffg7889]

They invested nothing but enough time and effort to get in that pussy it sounds like. And yes if you're friends suck you probably suck too. There's a saying I love, "you lie with dogs, you get fleas."
There are ass hole women who do the same shit. Realize some people just suck, take it for what it was and move on.

[hhhffg7889]

Pro tip, next time just suck his dick and see if he has to go home suddenly after he cums. Or don't give it up for a year. If he's still around, you're good👍

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice but if my friends being excited by my happiness is a turn off then i don’t want someone who is like that. One can invest all the time and effort but if that does it for you I rather not get to know anyone like that. It’s childish and a turn off. Especially when that was something we could have talked about it that person actually wanted to be with me.

[hhhffg7889]

You're feelings are valid and you have every right to be turned off by his behavior.

But so does he.

[Asker]

Not saying he has no right. What is irritating is that he chose to ghost me for 5 days with no explanation and then on the 5th day decided to judge my character that he still didn’t know since I don’t trust anyone with the whole of me. So my question is why manipulate when conversation could happen and resolve the situation. Not about our characters because i could have judged him based on the company he kept as well but i didn’t

[hhhffg7889]

You asked why men do it. That's the only reason I gave you shit at first.
You weren't manipulated most likely. Men are like water, they head down the path with least resistance. He got what his little dick wanted and then handled it like a child. But to let that dictate future relationships or to generalize men based on his dumb ass is a disservice to yourself and your mental health. Don't waste your energy on anyone so insignificant, and who probably has zero place in the life picture you probably have for yourself. Energy runs out. Save it for someone who deserves it.

[hhhffg7889]

Or maybe use a little energy to fuck his best friend with the bigger cock.

[Asker]

But how do I figure out who deserves it if they are all feeding me the same mushy garbage. I already have trust issues due to trauma sooooo me being as open as I was is very rear just to pretty much be spat in my face. I guess how am I supposed to take that leap of faith again without the trauma of the past creating a path of resistance. If what you are saying is correct and men or women choose the least resistant path what’s the point in trying again 🧐

[Asker]

His friends are toxic 🤣

[hhhffg7889]

You're learning the wrong lessons.
Don't listen to the words. You know what real kindness feels like. You know when someone is lying by instinct. But not if you're mentally in defense mode from minute one. It's going to fuck you up and I promise if that's how you go about things, it WILL happen to you over and over again.

[Asker]

Ok thank you for the advice and I appreciate you not giving me a hard time anymore ☺️

[hhhffg7889]

Sorry about that. Hopefully what I said helped and made sense. It comes from experience from both sides.

[Asker]

No it does thank you ☺️

[Anonymous]

Many guys that do that have found out that being honest doesn't work to get women in the sack.

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

Women manipulate men all the time

[Asker]

Some do yes but I just specified this question based on my own situation. But yes women can be equally as manipulative

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

Then don't ask about JUST men

[Asker]

Well if I haven’t had that experience with a woman why would I ask them when I want to know from the male perspective

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

Because you're making it out that ONLY men are that way. SO DONT MAKE IT SEEM THAT WAY BYT ASKING ABOUT ONLY MEN

[Asker]

Why do you do it? If you feel a type of way by my question that’s not my problem. No girl I’ve been with has treated me as such so I have no personal experience with it

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

Because lots of people manipulate, guys, and girls do it

ITS NOT JUST GUYS

[Asker]

Well again take it as you please. I could ask why women are shallow creatures willing to be preen and pressed in order to feel superior but men do the same but I haven’t had an experience with it. Why ask a question if it online helps the general public and not me

[Asker]

Only*

[Dav1dTh0ma389]

Because it's from both genders

You're a biased freak

[Asker]

Again how I’m pansexual and I’ve only been manipulated by men. You’re projecting and that’s very disrespectful

[Asker]

It’s my question and my choice how I wish to phrase it

[Anonymous]

Common sense.

[Asker]

How so

[Anonymous]

its fun

[Asker]

And you are the reason why many have trust issues and baggage

[Opinion Owner]

im trying to change, dont judge

[Asker]

Ok so men who think like you are the reason. You saying that it’s fun isn’t much of a defense. Many will and can be better people. But we have to recognize the damage that has been done in order to be better. Sorry for the quick judgment but it being fun is no excuse to ruin someone

[Asker]

I hope all positive energy towards the betterment of yourself and I hope you find happiness ☺️

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you