Friend self-isolating, is it always a sign of depression and how to help?

[Anonymous]

Already some 6 months ago a friend (male, in his 30s) stopped replying to my messages. I saw him in social situation a couple times more, where he looked restless and not very interested in the company of the group of friends (sitting aside alone etc), than a couple times he didn’t show up to dinners where he had said he would come, and eventually he simply disappeared. I thought he was not replying my messages because I had somehow offended him - and had no idea how - until I learned he had just stopped replying or wanting to see all of the other friends in the group too, some of which are much closer friends than I am, both boys and girls.

No one knows what happened to him, he says he is focusing on work but his job has quite a stable workload so it’s not completely credible that he stopped having free time all of a sudden.

He could also have started seeing a girl and wants to keep it secret, he is quite a private person, but completely cutting yourself off and avoiding your friends seems a bit extreme.

I would love to hear if anyone had similar experiences and how they managed to find out if the person was doing well and of not how they helped?

[Anonymous]

Some people are introverted. Being social and going to events and sitting with a bunch of people is and can be very traumatizing for an introvert. Then for the non introvert to come towards the introvert making them come out is very uncomfortable and feels like an attack to the introvert.
I’m introverted and hate hate when folks beg me to come out to social things, it pisses me off actually. I’m content on my own and I get my social fix from work and even that can over whelm me and drain and exhaust me.
Other people internalize my ways and then they wanna talk about it - they create an issue that didn’t even exists when the they truly just don’t understand. It’s not for them to understand, they need to just leave it be and leave me be. The more they try to pry at me, the grumpy I appear. But if they leave me be, it’s better that way.

[Asker]

For sure, I am also an introverted. But this guy is an extrovert and usually very very sociable

[Changiis07]

Maybe he is going through a depression because I've had friends not reach out at all until I found out they don't want to even go to the grocery store. That or he could just be focusing on work because I also have another friend who works a lot and also goes to school and never has time for friends

[Wise4myage]

I believe wanting to alone and cut off from friends could be a sign of depression.

[Jamie05rhs]

What were you messaging him on? Maybe he doesn't have that app anymore.