Should I start being cold to people at work? I am tired of being treated like a fool by bosses and coworkers because I’m overly nice and friendly?

[Fjorjf]

I’m realizing you have to be cold and strictly businesslike with people whether they’re male or female because many people regardless of gender view a remotely nice friendly person as someone easy to be rude, bossy or assume you want them. Correct?

Updates

+1 y

Females think me being remotely nice means they can boss me around and treat me like a lackey at work. Whether they’re my bosses or coworkers. It’s like they think I’m desperate or wanna be friends with them. Maybe I’m too friendly. And men think they can use and abuse me too. They seem to think I want them.

[PrettyPriya]

Sounds like more of a product of the business environment. If that is the way everyone functions, cold and businesslike, it is likely that is what others respond to versus being cheery and friendly, like your personality is.

You may just have to become like that to "fit in" and get ahead. Unless you are willing to leave your job for a different environment, I don't know that you have much of a choice if you want others to give you the same level of respect as everyone else that acts cold and businesslike.

A good personal example is my place of work. It is a doctor's office. I am not a doctor or nurse but an office admin. Now, of course we have to act professional around patients as well as vendors to the practice. However, we can be friendly to patients. We can be friendly and fun around coworkers where appropriate. For me, it is more about when is the right time and place for being like that versus acting professional when needed.

[Anonymous]

I don't think so. Most people would say I'm nice and maybe overly nice, but with the exception of a couple of female bosses in the past, I don't get treated badly or disrespectfully. I feel like the nicer I am, then nicer people treat me. Maybe it's the industry you work in or something.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Don't be friendly or cold. Be professional. Learn to stand up for yourself and leave your emotions at the door.

If some pompous bitch tries to order you around, just say, "I'm happy to help you when I get the chance, but if you need it done now you're gonna have to ask someone else"

If she gets all stand offish and rude, say nothing. You said your peace and she can have a pissy fit all she wants. You're a man and nothing shakes you. That's how you get people's respect.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Piece*

[WanderingLoveWizard]

Whoops I thought you were guy. Scratch all that. Being respected only works for men

[Finchie40]

One thing you will learn in life is there are a bunch of assholes in this world , so don’t change who you are as a person , just don’t be as nice to the one’s that aren’t nice to you back , just keep to yourself , remember it’s just a job and you are there for a paycheck , if someone is ride to you give it right back to them , don’t take anyone’s shit if they are going to be disrespectful to you

[Guy13]

That would be like drinking their poison and expecting them to die. Be friendly and do your job at the Standard required. Then go home and enjoy life 💪

[jshm2]

Nope. You were not nice or friendly, just a fool that didn't command respect. Now you're upset that people are not willing to respect your lack of social skills.

[serious_miss419]

I always say that work is no place for emotions. It’s just simply not the place.

[Wise4myage]

No, but maybe its time for you to start looking for a new job?

[Anonymous]

Do it please 🥹

[Fjorjf]

Any tips for how?

[Opinion Owner]

Don’t say them “ good morning, good evening “ don’t give them a smile

[Fjorjf]

If they say it first I can say it, to the bosses anyway. But if they say how are you I can ignore them lol. They don’t even care how I am.

[Fjorjf]

And no smile.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes sis i m with you on this

[Fjorjf]

Thank you