How do married guys manage their crushes?

[Anonymous]

How long do yours last? How do you get over it? Does it get in the way of romancing the wife? What if your crush starts showing interest? What do you think then?

[ShiftingMonke]

Ideally, a married man wouldn't think about another woman to that level of desire.

[Asker]

not an ideal scenario, but what then

[ShiftingMonke]

Well in this scenario with absolutely no context whatsoever, this married man has a few choices:

• He can admit quietly to himself that this woman, who isn't his wife, has one or more qualities that he desires. He can allow himself to wonder what a future with her is like, just a mental speculation, but not let it affect his life or relationship. Eventually he will refocus on what's important and slowly lose interest and focus on this Other Woman and resume loving unconditionally the woman he chose to marry.

• He could speculate as he did before, but take the speculation further by taking specific actions to spend more time with this other woman or find out more information to feed his desire for her. Eventually, if he's able, he may seek out an opportune time to reveal his desires to the other woman, either during his marriage or after its failed; the failure likely being caused by his failures to ensure the marriage is happy and beneficial or because his desires have been found by his partner.

Either way, it's not good for the wife of a husband that develops a crush on another woman. The degree of hurt she will feel depends entirely on the amount of self control her husband has.

[MrCommodore]

That only happens when a marriage is lacking romance or sex.

[Asker]

ok, so if given that scenario, can you tell me what happens if someone starts crushing?

[MrCommodore]

Nothing usually, while a marriage might be on the rocks or privately over, he is still married and he won't openly act on that crush. He may show little glimpses of interest, but is unlikely to openly pursue another woman unless his he is separated for a while.

[Brando10222]

If I'm in a relationship I won't have a crush and never will. That's cheating for me

[Asker]

not in everyone's control but I agree