Guy Im seeing constantly wants me to spoon him is this weird?

[Anonymous]

[SteveSmith1985]

haha, ... as a guy that loves to spoon... I'm going to say "no".

But actually the answer is: "it's weird, if it's not mutual".

So if you're not on the same page in terms of how much/often you're spooning... then yes, that is weird.

To be involved in spooning you don't fully want to be a part of... is inherently weird. I can't say I've ever been in that situation. I hope (and believe) I've never put a girl in that situation. But... it is a bit of a funny mental picture... to imagine you... feeling weird and awkward... during a semi-forced spooning. I mean... it's not funny. But it's also kinda funny. (I sure hope you're not actually in some truly unfunny situation here. If you are, then I'm sorry)

This basically comes down to him wanting a specific kind of intimacy that you're not comfortable with. So whether it's literally a matter of you not wanting to spoon as often; Or whether this is one indicator of an overall imbalance in commitment/affection I have no idea. Either way, you probably need to adress this... instead of continuing to subject yourself to unwanted spoonings.

I can tell you one thing for sure: He doesn't WANT to be spooning you in a way (or at a frequency) that makes you uncomfortable. He would never do what he's doing... if he understood how you really felt about it.

But yes, it's "weird" (for your situation specifically) or you wouldn't have asked this question. The existence of this as a question in your own mind, means that "yes, this is weird". 🙂

[Asker]

I don’t mind I just found it a bit strange we are casual but then he’s asking me to spoon him, I’ve never had a guy want to be spooned before

[SteveSmith1985]

haha, wait... the way you just worded that... you don't mean that he wants YOU to spoon HIM... right? but the other way around... right? Because... frankly... if not... that does make this way way WAY weirder (and... the mental image makes me laugh... I'm sorry! but it's funny).

So I get why you're a bit thrown-off by this if things are "casual." I'll be honest with you... personally I don't have as much expereince with the dynamics of "casual" but I do have some. And... spooning... is... borderline. It's... a grey area.

There are certainly some cases where spooning is appropriate even though it's casual. But... definitely not... always.

Spooning is... inherently an intimate, affectionate act. But whether that kind of "affection or closeness" is incongruent with it being casual... I think is going to depend on the particular situation and the particular flavor of "casual" (for example, is kissing sexual enough to be 'casual' or is that more of a romantic intimacy thing... I'd say that's debatable, and could go either way as well).

Still, I keep coming back to the same main point. If YOU find it weird, then it's weird. If him wanting to spoon feels at-odds with what you understand this relationship to be (and with what you want it to be)... then it IS at-odds with those things. And in that case... this is 'weird'. And honestly... you should probably say something. because I doubt he WANTS to be spooning you so much that it seems odd to you.

If you're asking whether it indicates that this might not be so "casual" to him... then it's one of those "maybe... but by no means necessarily". But if it feels weird, you should bring it up to him. Talking is good shit. It'll do you good here.

[NamerOfStars]

No. Something that a lot of women don't understand is just how isolated men's lives often are; many of us are touch-deprived, or even outright touch-starved, and that plays merry hell on our psychology- to say nothing of our telomeres. Ultimately, touch is a form of communion, and many of us don't get what we need. This often winds up putting a greater burden on our romantic partners (pretty much the only people we're socially allowed to exchange that with), and can- I stress can- lead to difficulties. But this isn't "Oh, no, he's going to want everything from you", just "touch is very important to him". Having a good, reliable, and quick-and-easy way of making your partner feel loved and supported is a very, VERY good thing.

It dawns on me now, however, that you may mean that he likes you being the big spoon. If that's the case, it's not really unrelated; wanting to connect to someone isn't all that different from wanting to feel loved and cared for. Given the backlash men often get when expressing those sentiments openly, it's a sign of trust on his part to ask for it; it's actually a good thing. So long as your needs are being met, too, of course.

[Asker]

Thank you!!! I think the thing that throws me off is we always had sexual chat so when he wants me spooning him and is holding my hand as I’m giving him oral it kind of threw me a little

[NamerOfStars]

Yeah, I can see how it would, but don't worry; it's not a sign of a lack of sexual interest, just that he likes that, too. And since sex also makes you feel close to someone, it seems a logical pairing.

[FilmGuy93]

He enjoys sharing physical affection with you, why the fuck would that ever be weird?

[Fireguy17]

does he want to do anything else or is that it?
is he hoping it will lead to more?
He mightjust really like it for some reason.
maybe ask him and see what he says.
hopefully it isn't something his ex or mom did, then it is just icky.

[Asker]

We do sexual stuff aswell I just never expected it from him. I’ve never had a guy who’s wanted to be spooned before

[Fireguy17]

maybe he just likes being close to you.
there are some people that like human contact a lot.

[RavVid]

You mean he wants you to spoon him or he wants to spoon you? I prefer to be the spooner.

[Asker]

Me spoon him

[RavVid]

I think that is a bit weird. When I spoon a girl I cup her breasts. Nice way to go to sleep. Are you expected to cup?

[Truthatanycost]

He's a human-being and wants what most humans want.

[Guy13]

No it’s kind of cute, romantic, snd sexy. I guess you are not enjoying it…that sucks

[Guardian45]

Only if you DON'T like spooning. Personally, I LOVE the intimacy!

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he likes being held and loved

[es20490446e]

You can switch.

[Brando10222]

Shows he is submissive

[KrakenAttackin]

"He must be gay"...*sigh*.

[Shamalien]

He likes you

[Anonymous]

yeah very