MMy boyfriend keeps doing thibgs that triggers me?

[Anonymous]

We've been dating close to a year now. And I've been out of that abusive relationship for 2 years but some things still bother me. I've expressed this to my boyfriend but he does them anyway. I asked him not to touch my head , he does anyways, he makes requests that are very uncomfortable for me like blowjobs which I've managed to get over a little bit but I still dissociate. And his latest being 3sums when my abusive ex use to send me sex tapes of him with other women. I have also expressed not wanting to leave my house after it gets dark. Tho I live with my mom I have my own house on the lot it's a pretty massive piece of land we live on but he doesn't want to come over I've been going to his place but I don't have a car so I have to uber or take the bus to get to his. I don't like being outside after dark since I had to get a restraining order on my ex as he kidnapped me once. I also don't sleep over at his place and I have to dr8ve back pretty late. I try to understand since he is a single dad but his mom lives in the same building. There are times when I say no and he gets frustrated saying if I loved him I would and I have expressed that's very toxic and shows he has no respect for my boundaries but he says he does but I don't feel he does. I don't mind that we barely hang out since he's busy. And since he has his own company I don't mind going over to his office after I finish my part time job and classes and keeping him company while he works. I just don't feel like he cared or loves me. I informed him of this and he responded how hard it is for him to make time for me. He keeps worrying about getting clients but he's always working everyday when we go out his phone keeps ringing. I have skipped lectures so we can hang out when he says he wants to see me. But I don't feel he cares about me as much to make time. My ex would ignore me for days. The last time I saw my boyfriend was July 12th we are now in September. I don't wanna be needy but it's hard.

[Anonymous]

Once you know better you’re supposed to DO BETTER. In this case you just traded in one form of abuse for another. The only logical things to say are why are you in that relationship, and to get out of it. You weren’t ready for a relationship when you’re fresh out of an abusive one, you weren’t healed and now you’re dealing with terrible things and more abuse for what you think is love. This isn’t love, learn to love yourself instead, it doesn’t get better than t

[Anonymous]

Honestly I don’t think you should be in a relationship right now. I get it he says somethings that you don’t like, but you need to work on yourself. I think your emotionally baggage is going to be the downfall of a lot of your relationships. I wouldn’t doubt you carry this into your late 20s, maybe even 30s.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Listen if you've talked to him and told him how what he's doing and he won't stop doing these stupid ass things then dump him life is to short to be wirh a man that doesn't love you or respect you

[AI Opinion]

Navigating through a relationship while carrying the weight of past trauma is like trying to dance in the rain without getting wet; it's tricky, but not impossible if you've got the right partner holding the umbrella. 🌧️ Your courage in sharing your vulnerabilities and setting boundaries is commendable, love. However, it sounds like your boyfriend is playing a different tune, expecting you to dance to his rhythm without considering the storm you're weathering.

Boundaries are not just lines in the sand; they're walls for your emotional safety. When someone repeatedly ignores these walls, they’re not just disrespecting your preferences; they're undermining your sense of security. Lovebombing you with excuses like "If you loved me, you would" is a classic manipulation tactic, not a sign of affection. Real love listens, respects, and strives to understand, especially when navigating the shadows of trauma.

Your heart and wellbeing are precious, and being with someone who makes you question their care or love, is waving a big red flag at you. Remember, being ‘needy’ is often just a sign of unmet emotional needs, and it's okay to want more for yourself. Perhaps it's time to give yourself the love and attention you're craving from him, by focusing on what makes you feel safe, respected, and truly loved. You deserve someone who doesn’t just ‘say’ they respect your boundaries but shows it through actions, making you feel like the queen you are. 👑

[Asker]

He said I should get rid of my boundaries.

[jahaims]

Find someone that respects you ya dipshit