If a guy seems interested in person, but doesn't text you, does that mean he isn't interested?

[Anonymous]

i spoke with my aunt about my crush and said that im not sure if he likes me back or not. she told me that since he isn't talking to me outside of school and church and doesn't text me, he isn't interested. but some people say that texting isn't an indicator of someone's interest. what do you all think?

i trust my aunt's opinion, especially since she isn't blinded by feelings like i may be. but one reason i didn't think much of him texting me is because he is almost never on his phone when we are talking. and he has told me that he's busy and with what. but i have also heard that even a busy man will make time to text the woman he wants. i am confused.

also what are indicators that a guy is interested?

yes

no

[Canuck37]

There are four good reasons I can think of that would lead a guy to not text despite liking you.

1) He's young and inexperienced, and doesn't know that he's supposed to text you. The first girl I dated, I went a month without spending time with her, because I wasn't sure how I was supposed to interact with a girl I liked. This would only apply to young guys, maybe younger than 25, although I was 24 in this instance.

2) Many guys are told by other guys (male dating advice) that they need to limit how often they contact a girl they're madly in love with, or else they'll come on too strong and she'll get scared and break it off. These guys will want to text you constantly, but won't, because they're afraid of scaring you off.

3) He's a technological dinosaur and does not communicate by texting. While this trait would be unusual in a young guy, there are some guys who did not have mobile phones in their youth whether it was because they were too poor or their parents banned them, and as such they might not be comfortable with texting.

4) He's gotten used to communicating with you in person, and sees texting as inferior to your in-person discussions. Nothing wrong with this reason, and it's accurate: texting is inferior to in-person discussions. If that's him, you should find a reason to hang out outside of school and church.

There's a fifth reason, but it's not a good reason.

5) He's too busy to text you. Some guys, especially nowadays with the great labour shortage, are far too busy with work or school to text you. They might be working on their career or education 80-100 hours per week. It's quite possible that guys like that genuinely like you, but you should be aware that if it's like this for them right now, when they're in the early stages of getting to know a potential relationship partner, then it'll be like that later, and you'll have to decide if you're okay with that. There's nothing wrong with a relationship taking second place to life responsibilities like education and work, because those are important things too; but it might not work for you, personally.

Then, of course, is the sixth option:

6) He doesn't like you.

[Asker]

this makes a lot of sense. he is young, inexperienced (i think), and busy. i thought these things were fine until i noticed his inconsistency. at one point he'd talk with me for a few minutes after church and for hours at school, the next minute he's not sitting next to me at church. he basically just gives me a hi and bye.

this has made me wonder if he really like me if he is so inconsistent when he is free. but he is extraverted and i am an introvert. so this could be playing a big role if why i think he is being inconsistent. he talks to a lot of people there.

i am so confused and wondering if im just mistaking his friendliness as something more.

[Canuck37]

My advice for any girl: do not be afraid to be the one who brings up dating. Guys are bad with "hints" and "signals"; girls need to be more direct in their communication.

If you're confused, wondering if he likes you, and here's the most important one: you like him, then the next time you have the opportunity to converse, you should ask him directly if he's interested in you. If he's not, then you didn't lose anything by asking. If he is, then you might have found a good relationship partner.

[Guy13]

It could mean that he wanted your Number to tell and show his friends, however, the friends like a proof text to substantiate that it is a real girl he was talking too.

It is most likely that if he did not text within 24 that he has other women he is working over at this time. you could have been his back-up plan kind of thing. It is not you... you don't know everything going on behind the scenes.

[Tephra]

It is true what they say. No one is ever too busy to send a simple text, even if it is a video that reminds them of you, or a joke you guys shared between one another. If he was very interested in you he would spend a lot of time with you, like texting, calling or wanting to hang out.

However considering you're age group, the guy may be inexperienced with women in general. You should also take his word for it when he does say he is busy, perhaps he is in the mind set of not wanting a relationship because he has other competing priorities.

If you really do like him, I'd take the friendship route and see if you ACTUALLY like him more than a friend, or you just like the idea of him. If you guys can be good friends for the long term there is a high chance you guys can be a great couple.

For now, he is busy. Stay as his friend and continue cultivating your life as you wish. It is better to be his friend, and have some potential (not guaranteed) to be more, than to be someone who he use to know

[Asker]

i like this idea. im going to try this. im ok with him being busy and i understand having other priorities. especially since we are college students and christians. i will just focus on being friends and continue getting to know him and see what happens. thank you so much.

[MrCommodore]

Texting patterns differ from guy to guy, I would not rule his potential interest in you out purely based on him not Texting you.

He may be a person who doesn't generally text a lot or doesn't like to initiate text with a girl he likes. If he seems interested in person, its a good indicator.

[es20490446e]

I rarely text girls I'm into, because I find you can't really bond by texting.

Instead I use texting for getting together.

[Iron_Man]

Why don’t you talk on the phone?

[Asker]

the last time i tried calling was a few months ago. he just said he'd talk to me at school. i was crushed and never called him again or asked to.

[Iron_Man]

Try again if the guy doesn’t do anything, then forget it

[Iron_Man]

Do you ever do anything out of school?

[Asker]

no. i only see and talk to him at school and church.

[Iron_Man]

This guy probably doesn’t wanna do much with you outside of that. He just basically being nice but doesn’t wanna take it further.

[Iron_Man]

It’s great that you’re going to church though

[Asker]

yeah unfortunately it seems that way. guess i gotta move on.

[Iron_Man]

Why don’t you try it one last time and invite him out to lunch or recommend going to a movie or going somewhere or on a picnic if he makes more excuses than you have your answer

[Iron_Man]

Why don’t you guys go jet skiing on the lake or the ocean?

[Asker]

ok i will consider trying one last time. im not really sure if i think this is worth it though. this week I've avoided him so I've already started accepting things and move on. i dont know yet. but thank you so much.

[Asker]

moving on*

[Iron_Man]

Change the game up a little bit just go for it and finalize it either way

[Iron_Man]

It’s not you’re gonna have to find another boyfriend that likes being around you and enjoys your company

[Iron_Man]

If not

[Mayo503]

Maybe he’s not sure on you

[Asker]

is there anything i should do in case he isn't? like stay the same or distance myself?

[Mayo503]

That’s up to you

[Anonymous]

Texting is meaningless.