Confident and independent vs ignoring and game playing, girls?

[Anonymous]

Every guy says "Depending on the situation you should completely ignore a girl to make her go crazy and want you like mad. That's how you make them crave you." I agree yet disagree. What do you think girls? Maybe half and half?

Is a girl more likely to crave confident guys who are independent, that have their own life (not clingy) rather than a guy who is ignoring a her on purpose and playing games to mess with her head?

[udolipixie]

1. Every guy says "Depending on the situation you should completely ignore a girl to make her go crazy and want you like mad. That's how you make them crave you." I agree yet disagree. What do you think girls? Maybe half and half?

It's true for most girls because they're people not because they're girls. Most people love being ignored because they hate it so much that they seek to get attention from the one ignoring them. Most people can be gamed if you work the right insecurities.

People with healthy self-esteem/image usually brush this off & it's usually because if you play theright insecurities while ignoring them they'll react the same way.

2. Is a girl more likely to crave confident guys who are independent, that have their own life (not clingy) rather than a guy who is ignoring a her on purpose and playing games to mess with her head?

A girl will go for both but for different reasons.

She'll go for confident/independent because she's a girl who likes a guy like that.

She'll go for ignoring/gameplaying because she's:

a person who loves to hate being ignored

a person whose insecurities can be manipulated

a girl who doesn't know the difference between confident/independent & ignoring/gameplaying

a girl who likes ignoring/gameplaying

A girl with healthy self-esteem/image & control of her insecurities is more likeky to go for the confident/independent.

[Asker]

I understand it better now...thanks!

[udolipixie]

No problem. If you need gaming advice plenty of sites

Girls responding to both ignoring/gameplaying & confidence/independence is not a girl thing but a people thing.

With psychological manipulation & using insecurities you can game guys/girls easily.

Plus you get more girls ignoring/gameplaying because only girls with healthy self esteem/insecurity control will choose one over the other.

Same thing with guys tactics are the same the only thing is you have to be attractive to game a guy.

[udolipixie]

If you don't want the gaming route just do what I tell my girls "don't take a guy seriously until he shows he is serious otherwise he's just looking for a pretty face or sex"

Though for guys it would be "don't take girls seriously until she shows she is serious otherwise she's just looking for an ego boost or emotional tampon"

[LoveBambi]

More attracted to guys who know what they want so..confident and independent. I won't care for you at all the second time you ignore me.

[beerY33]

I don't like game playing period. Confident and independent is gooooood, though. Just as long as they have enough time for me.

[Asker]

Of course! Thanks

[Quadrophonic84]

(yeah I know you said girls only, but I wanted to talk about how complex I think the question really is)

I can safely tell you that in the beginning at least, girls can't tell the difference between those two guys, and they don't care either. It's just a game for them to win, to get the guy's attention for their own personal validation. I'm the definition of an independent guy with his own life and it doesn't matter how obvious I make that if I put in obvious effort to make regular contact. They take that as clinginess. Not very bright. So I preach and practie letting them come to you In fact the way you train a woman to respond to you is much like how you train a dog. When she takes a long time to respond to you (texts, calls, whatever), you respond by taking even longer to get back to her. Then when she responds quickly (which they almost always do), you still take a while to respond, but noticeably less than before. It's positive reinforcement (ie. you act right and I'll reward you with my valuable attention). After that the roles get set and it gets to be a bit looser. But don't kid yourself. You have to show them you're not going to compromise from the beginning otherwise they think you're chasing them.

[Asker]

Very well said. I don't care that you're not a girl. It's great input and makes a lot of sense. I've actually done the texting part to a girl and it worked. So I see how this is True.

What was your meaning in they don't care between the two? They find the challenge attractive and go crazy for a guy like that either way?

[Quadrophonic84]

In the beginning all guys are the same to them - it's just a challenge to get his attention. Only later on if he's "clingy" about it does it start to matter. This is actually a huge difference between the average man and the average woman. Guys hate it when girls he's not attracted to show him attention, he feels like he has to be nice many. Women though (despite what they say) love it for the ego boost. Doesn't matter that they have no intention of dating him. They're attention collectors.

[Asker]

Ahh I get it. Very true now that I look at it. Thanks man. What would be your advice to me in regard to this question?

[Quadrophonic84]

My advice? Until they're making it clear they like you on a regular basis, treat them the way you'd treat a slightly amusing 12 year old girl cousin you think has a crush on you. Basically just act like you don't take her seriously until SHE puts in some serious effort.

[Asker]

Bingo. That's exactly what I was looking for. Thanks bud. So far that's what I've been doing...and it's working.

[mrstinky]

The guy who hangs all over the girl, is always saying how pretty she is, and how much he would do for her is just an ego boost. Show a woman one time that you are interested then walk away.

[Asker]

Now that is the answer I was looking for! I agree that this tactic is what gets girls hooked to you at first