Which mental age would you apply to a 20-year old on his own since 15 vs. a 25-year old mama's boy?

[DermalPunch]

Started officially getting to know a guy. He's much younger. ***THIS POST IS NOT ABOUT THAT***.

I asked him how long he has been in the city we live in (it's big and has a dark side). He said he has been on his own since 15.

What mental age would you give him?

I had a failed engagement with a guy who was so far up his mother's backside it, was near oedipal and he always lived at home.

What mental age would you give him by comparison?

[dynamicyandere]

I’d say late 20’s.


I needed to take care of myself starting at 19.


When I hit my early 20’s I was told by a boomer that I had the maturity of someone in their late 20’s.


I thought that was a pretty good compliment coming from a boomer.


But yeah, I had to adult quickly when my neglectful parents left the country while I was 19.


I lived in a storage room, made minimum wage, fed myself on $3 a day. Didn’t even now how to do taxes yet.


Well, I figured it all out on my own.


Now, I have my sh*t together more than most of my peers. But I was forced to adapt because I had no other choice.


For your question, I would have said early 30’s, but our brains don’t fully mature until we hit our mid 20’s.

[DermalPunch]

I absolutely love that. True grit. This is a rare quality in people.

Your story seems parallel to his.

The city I'm in people can be helpful and generous but also cunning and dishonest.

It isn't uncommon to see young men and women with knife slashes on their faces.

He doesn't look that rough though and his family may have helped him from afar.

Things get real grimey here.

I am happy to know he has been on his own and it makes sense why he could have respect for my situation.

On the other hand, he could be a cunning young man looking for a come up.

Basically, I'm dealing with a grown-ass man and I've been out of the game for awhile.

[dynamicyandere]

Thanks!

Sounds like a rough neighborhood.

Yeah, I’d treat him like a grown-ass man at this point.

In terms of cunning and dishonesty, it’ll be hard to advise you there.

The best way to pick up on that is to have a sharp intuition.

But if you’ve been out of the game for a while, your intuition may not be as sharp as it would be if you never left.

It’s still important to trust of course, but I’d say, allow that trust to be earned, and listen to your gut.

[DermalPunch]

Thanks! That's why I don't want to be on WhatsApp.

[NathanDavis]

one has lived his life...

the other still in the womb...

[DermalPunch]

Yeah. I mean it was a little intimidating tbh. The non-womb guy.

You were so right about womb boy by the way

[NathanDavis]

I remember womb boy...

and I also remember being 22 myself, and I still didn't have a path that I wanted to go with and keep up, lol...

I didn't want to go back into the womb, but I was still comfortable at not-my-house... kind of a late start, but yes... once on my own, it all started to pick up in so many ways... including the relationship I had at the moment

[DermalPunch]

Yes, you had quite a fight for it. The relationship I mean. And yourself.

It's important for men to be on their own. Make it then establish their own kingdom. Money, house Wife kids, etc.

[NathanDavis]

it gives you a real sense of actually being your true self... that's very important as well

[DermalPunch]

Would you belive womb boy showed up at my door today!!!

[NathanDavis]

hopefully, no drama...

[DermalPunch]

Not much. I wished him the best and said I was closing the door now. I hope it's the last of him. I really hope he can deal with his pain and stop hurting people.

[Bethany22]

The guy who has been living on his own since that age is probably more street smart than the other guy, but since he has had to be mature sooner, you may have to still worry about him going through a youth phase if he ever realizes he was robbed of having a carefree childhood

[DermalPunch]

True. My worry is more that his a cunning guy. I'm clever but not so cunning.

[DermalPunch]

But if you could put a NUMBER on their mental ages what would you give for each of them?

[Bethany22]

20 year old living on his own since 15: 30. 25 year old still living at home: 15

[DermalPunch]

Yeah, the 25 year old acted 17

[dynamicyandere]

“20 year old living on his own since 15: 30. 25 year old still living at home: 15”

Good estimates. I’d agree with that too.

[LazerBean]

It could be either way. Personally, I would not have much faith in the maturity of a person who has had little parental guidance in their life.

[DermalPunch]

He is close with his family. They are just far away. In this country there is a lot of poverty and he left home to survive.

[Tstrbrainer]

Obviously he would have more balls and better experience in dealing with real life issues

[DermalPunch]

Yes, no doubt. Can you put a number in what age his level of maturity would correspond with?

[Tstrbrainer]

I don't know to put a number as I won't even be surprised if he can take decisions even better than a 40yr old during certain occasions

[DermalPunch]

Yes, i see what you mean.

[Tstrbrainer]

In my opinion, a 20yr old who has been on his own since his teens and is not a drunkard or drug addict or criminal, he's quite smart and probably a great character too

[DermalPunch]

This is true. It's easy to get caught up if you don't have character. He does have family in the city so he wasn't so alone.

[Legendarylegacy13]

I would the 20 year old that was on his on. If you are saying who is smarter I think both but in different ways.

[msc545]

Mental age is an outdated concept for the most part and the fact that you're using it tells me that you're probable mental age is a lot younger than it would appear at first glance.

[DermalPunch]

Well, I didn't know how else to phrase it. I am also not in the pulse of said things. Also, there are certain behaviors that are common amongst certain age groups.

I've earned all 38 of my years mentally and otherwise, thank you.