We met at a temp job (worked together 2 weeks). He asked for my number after.
He has been initiated messages with me every single day for about a month. I have tried to catch up with him. Even tried to initiate sexual talk, anything. But he seems to just want to chat to me every single day. Saying how much he misses and likes me.
I finally had enough and asked him directly what he wants from me. Like is he interested to start dating, casual sex, just friends like what.
he said he does not know. And just said indirect cold answers to everything. It turned into a fight. And the conversation ended badly.
I don’t get why he got so upset that I just wanted to know why he messaged everyday that he liked me but doesn’t want to do anything about it.
Was he just wanting my attention and that is it?
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2Opinion
So I'm thinking maybe he was into you, but is one of those guys who doesn't really know how to express it. Or, he was in a relationship that maybe you knew nothing about. Or had an ex you knew nothing about. And so he kept teetering back and forth with you because he may have still been talking to her and had feelings for her. I don't think it was for attention, and I don't know a lot of guys who talk to a woman just for that, that's more of a female-minded thing to do.
But you asked him and he said he doesn't know. He's being wishy washy and unclear. I keep telling people: walk away from those kinds of situations. If the person is being blurry/gray area about how they feel or what they're doing, it only spells disappointment for you in the end, and you don't want to waste time on someone who is back and forth and not solid on what they want, especially if it's because their ex is still in the picture or some other person they're talking to as well. It seems like you know what you would've wanted with him, and you were mature enough to try to talk to him about what's going on with him, but he is not. Don't stick around for that foolishness. Let that guy go.
Thank you. I felt I had a lot of patience. I finally got frustrated of these relentless messages everyday that were leading no where but making me feel attached. I find it very odd that he would almost rather just let this whole thing go then tell me what he sort of wants, it makes me feel like why tell me everyday for a month you want me so much. To then walk away when I am trying to make what he wants actually happen! I’m so confused. And yes he hasn’t messaged me today since our little tiff the other night, I don’t even think he will.
He probably won't, until he's ready to love bomb you again. Stand your ground and drop him. People like that will keep you hanging on forever, and you don't want that.
Yes I feel so too. I will leave it and move forward. I am just a little like feeling a bit of a sting. Because he said all the words I wanted to hear relentlessly even on the same day as this “talk” we had. And now it’s like radio silence. I feel so confused, even though I deep down know what it means. I guess I’m just trying to understand it.
Like I feel like I have been dumped even though we were never together
You feel like any hope there was is gone. And you feel like a fool for thinking there was something in in it. I've been there before too. But I learned from it.
Here's an old Take I wrote that might help Someone Liking You Isn’t Always A Good Thing ↗
It's possible that your male acquaintance was seeking attention from you and may not have been interested in pursuing a deeper relationship or sexual encounter. However, it's also possible that he may have felt unsure or confused about his own feelings and intentions.
Regardless of his motives, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and to communicate openly and honestly about your own needs and boundaries. If you feel uncomfortable or uncertain about the nature of your interactions with him, it may be helpful to set clear expectations and boundaries, or to distance yourself from the situation altogether.
Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and consideration in all interactions, and it's important to trust your instincts and prioritize your own well-being above all else.
Yes I tried to communicate and have boundaries with him. That after x amount of time I sort of want to understand what direction we are heading in. Especially because everyday he was relentlessly messaging me. I was getting attached and I needed to understand what was happening. I then had the “talk with him” but very softly. He reacted so upset that I dare bring it up. And has pretty much ghosted on me and not talked to me the last few days, I have a feeling he won’t contact me again
Which pretty much makes me feel like it all wasn’t real and I’m a bit hurt. I guess moving on is best.
I'm sorry to hear that things didn't work out as you had hoped, and that this person's reaction to your attempt to communicate and establish boundaries was negative.
It's important to remember that anyone who is genuinely interested in you and invested in the relationship will be willing and able to communicate openly and honestly with you about their intentions and expectations. It's not fair or respectful for someone to lead you on or string you along without being clear about what they want from the relationship.
While it's natural to feel hurt or disappointed by this person's behavior, it's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness in all interactions. Moving on may be the best course of action for you, as it will allow you to focus your energy and attention on relationships that are healthy, positive, and fulfilling. Remember to trust yourself and your instincts, and to make decisions that are right for you, regardless of what others may think or say.
Yes it’s true what you say. I think it’s just hard to receive messages everyday saying how much he likes and wants me to then disappearing the moment I actually want to move forward with these words. But yes you are right. I need to move forward to find someone who wants to actually connect not just have me as a pen pal texting buddy haha.
Exactly 🙂 It's completely understandable to feel confused and hurt when someone's actions don't match their words. It's important to remember that you deserve to be with someone who is willing to invest the same level of effort and energy into the relationship as you are, and who is willing to communicate openly and honestly about their intentions and expectations.
Moving on can be difficult, but it's important to prioritize your own well-being and happiness in all interactions. By letting go of this person who isn't willing to meet your needs and expectations, you open yourself up to the possibility of finding someone who is a better match for you and who is willing to build a real connection with you.
Remember to be kind and gentle with yourself during this time, and to focus on engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members, and consider seeking support from a therapist or counselor if you need help processing your emotions or navigating difficult situations in your relationships.
With time and effort, you can move forward and find happiness and fulfillment in your life.
Yes that’s exactly the feeling I am left with. His actions didn’t match his words at all. If 24 hours prior you can say how strongly you feel for me and miss me.. then a day later ghost me. I feel like was it all a lie. And for what. I know it’s pointless to over analyse because I’m not going to know at all. But it’s running in my mind.
Right. It's understandable to feel confused and frustrated when someone's actions don't match their words, and it's natural to want to understand why someone would behave that way. At the same time though, it's important to remember that you may never fully understand what someone else is thinking or feeling, and that ultimately, their behavior is their responsibility.
While it's natural to analyze and try to make sense of things, it's also important to be aware of the potential pitfalls of overthinking or obsessing over a situation. This can lead to unnecessary stress and anxiety, and may ultimately hinder your ability to move on and find happiness in other areas of your life.
Instead of focusing on this one situation, try to focus on your own well-being and happiness. This might involve spending time with friends and family, pursuing hobbies or interests that bring you joy, or focusing on your personal and professional goals. By prioritizing your own happiness and well-being, you may find that you are better able to let go of this situation and move forward with a sense of peace and self-assurance.