A guy supposed to be a friend spanked me without my consent (being a bit drunk) in an empty street…how should I react?

[Anonymous]

I m really mad about this.

He did it in a dark street close to my home (he is used to accompany me at night on a regular basis).

he was interested in me but I told him I was not interested. He seems he doesn’t accept it…

[Anonymous]

It's completely understandable that you're feeling angry and violated by this situation. No one has the right to touch you without your consent, and it's important to take steps to protect yourself and address the situation.

First, it's important to prioritize your safety and well-being. If you feel unsafe or threatened in any way, it's important to remove yourself from the situation and seek support from friends, family, or authorities if necessary.

It may also be helpful to have a conversation with the guy about his behavior and how it made you feel. Be clear and direct about your boundaries, and let him know that his actions were not acceptable. It's important to communicate your feelings in a calm and assertive manner, and to avoid blaming or shaming him.

If you don't feel comfortable confronting him directly, or if you're concerned about your safety, it may be helpful to seek support from a trusted friend, family member, or professional. You could also consider contacting local authorities or a support organization for guidance and assistance.

Remember that you have the right to set boundaries and to expect respect and consent in all aspects of your relationships. It's important to prioritize your own well-being and to take steps to protect yourself in situations where your boundaries have been violated.

[Asker]

Thanks a lot. It’s very disturbing, draining and stressing….

[Asker]

I suspect him not taking NO as an answer. Last time he sent me a pic of me with my friend’s baby in arms saying it was fitting me
Well…. It’s like he has a scenario in his head and other people are just actors of his scenario? Which is not related at all
To reality.

[Opinion Owner]

You’re welcome and awww I’m sorry. It's understandable to feel disturbed, drained, and stressed by this situation. It's important to trust your instincts and take steps to protect yourself and set clear boundaries.

It's concerning that your friend doesn't seem to be respecting your boundaries or taking no for an answer. It's possible that he has his own agenda or scenario in mind, and that he's not willing to listen to your needs or feelings.

It's important to prioritize your own safety and well-being in this situation. If you don't feel comfortable or safe around him, it may be necessary to distance yourself or cut off contact altogether. You have the right to set boundaries and to communicate your needs and feelings clearly, and you don't have to tolerate behavior that makes you feel uncomfortable or violated.

Consider reaching out to trusted friends or family members for support, and don't hesitate to seek professional help if you need it. Remember that you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity, and that you have the power to take action to protect yourself and your well-being.

[BarryLiverstone]

You are over 30, has he done this before?

[Asker]

No. But sticky guy who seems to not understand the NO.

[BarryLiverstone]

So this is when you talk to him and let him know that’s not ok. Even if he’s drunk you have boundaries. And if he touches you again then you will respond unkindly

[Asker]

He already had been aggressive verbally (also when he was a bit drunk). I feel like he doesn’t accept getting rejected.

[BarryLiverstone]

Three strikes and you are out. So he has crossed your boundaries twice. Remind him to not do it again and if he does then never be around him as he has proven he isn’t responsible

[BarryLiverstone]

How old is he?

[Asker]

45….

[Asker]

Yeah, I really feel something is not right. His actions don’t match his words. Talking about respect…

[BarryLiverstone]

45? Um that’s way too old for him to be doing this. Sounds like you are not into him so just never be around him again. By 45 you can’t blame it on him just being rejected

[Asker]

Yes he’s a guy snot so attractive so struggling with girls but still it isn’t an excuse.
You’re right. The problem is that we have a common group of friends.. how to cope with that?

[Asker]

He called a friend of the group (girl) today to say he made a big mistake Blabla.
And his way to apologise by message with me was strange. One moment he said he “understands my point of view” LOL wtf dude?

[BarryLiverstone]

By choosing to only interact with him in the group. And anytime you know he’s going to be drunk then make sure you have a friend around and aren’t alone. No more walking with him on streets.

[Asker]

Yes that’s my feeling too. I don’t feel
Safe anymore around me. Especially because he did that at the precise moment we entered my street which was in full darkness 😳 (we had a little light)

[Asker]

Around him*

[Asker]

Talking about the “point of view” is strange in this case right? It’s like he tries to rationalize an assault and only views things from his perspective.

[BarryLiverstone]

Time to stop over analyzing and trying to be rational. You just said you are not safe around him. So take action and protect yourself.

Remember also that alcohol impairs judgement so his point of view might have been murky at best

[Asker]

Yes you re right. That would be wiser…

In any case (it’s my perception) I think alcohol is only a revelator. So this guy pretending to have feelings for me is bullshit… we don’t spank someone we love.