He doesn't like it at all. I would say I'm a little bit a feminist. Not full blown but I don't want to get stuck with a misogynistic dude. I told him that I like Susan b Anthony stuff where she fought for the womens right to vote. He told me that he thinks that women shouldn't have won the right to vote at all and he's against that. That disturbed and upset me combined. I found this out after I told him I am interested in a relationship with him but I'm like extremely uncomfortable and I feel weird. Now I know he feels that way, I feel stuck. Like I told him I'm down for a relationship and now I found this out and I feel afraid of him like he may be a crazy person. It's weird I feel depressed for some reason and I have no idea why I am suddenly depressed lol.
There’s equal rights and equal respect between both men and woman. That’s the kind of feminism that all people should stand behind.
But there’s also misandrists that label themselves as feminists, and instead of equality, they are promoting hate against men and preaching male inferiority and female superiority.
Most men don’t have a problem with respecting women equally.
But most men have a problem with hatred towards their gender.
As for your guy… Based on what you wrote about this him, it sounds like he’s even against gender equality.
And that’s a red flag.
He sounds like a blatant misogynist and I’d stop seeing him if I were you.
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It is totally reasonable to change your mind and revoke your being open to a relationship with him in this situation. When you said that, you assumed he respected you as a person. Finding out he doesn't believe you should have rights is a very serious change. He may not respect that you see that as a deal breaker, but I believe most people would absolutely be on your side that "they think I should not be allowed to vote" is a perfectly reasonable deal breaker to have—even if they personally don't see it as a deal breaker.
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Quite the contrary you should take it as a red flag if he said he supported feminism.
Before you get all defensive let me explain. There are three kinds of men who would insane enough to “support” modern feminism. Also it’s possible to be pro female empowerment without calling yourself a “feminist” Reason being is feminism today NOT about equality but is instead about “equity”.
The “equity” concept uses baby algebra to determine the “wage gape” by not taking into account the fact men and women voluntarily pursue different career paths and some are more lucrative than others. The concept of “equity” is subjectively one sided and fixates on struggles one side has (sexual harassment) while completely ignoring the other sides issues (4x suicide rates, most homeless people are men, etc). Before I go any further down the rabbit hole let me explain I really want women to have a fair chance and succeed but I absolutely hate modern feminism’s approach to this.
Anyway as for “male feminists” there are three types:
1. Sociopathic men who pay outward lip service to feminism thinking it will get them cherished by women and laid. But deep down they actually see women as objects.
You see this hypocritical bullshit in Hollywood and politics. Do you know at one time Harvey Weinstein was considered pro “feminist”? He’s the one who produced kill bill. He spoke highly of women during interviews.
Also former NY governor Andrew Cuomo was supposedly “pro feminist” then it later came out he was an absolute abusive creep towards women.
2. Sneaky beta male types.
These guys are similar to number 1 but they usually lack the societal prominence. But they will have no problem whatsoever being one of your “friends” but they will pay you all sorts of lip service. But they have one agenda: to get in your pants. They might get it once in a blue moon by domineering women who like submissive men. But it rarely works out for them and deep down they hate themselves but are too weak to change.
3. Men who were brainwashed from a young age to hate “men”.
This often happens with boys who were raised by single mothers and either had a deadbeat/abusive/absent father or the mother exaggerated how much she’s hated the boys father. So the boy grows up with an unhealthy resentment of men and/or an unhealthy worships of “victimized” women.
He later often finds himself being “the savior” for broken women out there. But he painfully learn that he will be exploited when necessary but never truly respected by women. He rarely talks back to them. He will also initially support feminism and later come to hate it. He is ironically the most likely to have a rude awakening.
I don't support feminism, it's a toxic ideology and basically women are brainwashed that they can do anything and be as powerful as men. I can put power and ego aside, but I am not going to deal with a bat shit crazy woman who is manipulative and destructive. I've heard many awful stories where women want to initiate divorce and ruin a man's life for what he worked hard for. I have a tough time supporting all women who think it's ok to call the police for fun and games or purposely hurt a guy for their own selfish reasons. I can admit when I'm wrong, I can admit when she's right and she's got the right answers. I have no problem praising a girl or woman on her success. But feminism in the west, it's an ideology. Just because you don't support an ideology doesn't make you hate the person, even with political ideologies I know it's a system of manipulation -- socially, politically, economically. Women can have good jobs and hold their own ground, that's fine. I think in today's world, women have lost touch with reality of what's right, and what's wrong, what's fair and what's just.
When it's all said and done, after you've broken down the men in this world by ethnicity, education/income level, etc, there are really only two groups that matter -- men who understand that women run the show and men who have yet to realize, accept and embrace this concrete, irrefutable fact.
The notion that men and women are equal is a quaint but long outdated philosophy; aside from physical strength (generally, but not always), women should be regarded as utterly and completely superior to men in every aspect, and I, for one believe that their relationships should reflect that. This is my opinion only.
The feminism issue would likely only be a problem if you were a feminist.
However, a man who doesn’t think you have the right to vote is very, very likely a man who will treat (and any hypothetical daughters you two may have) you like trash if not worse. Also, he’ll likely be okay with “physically disciplining” his spouse, so you might want to ask his thoughts.
I tend towards conservatism/traditionalism myself but what you do is your choice, but I’d suggest being absolutely sure that if you choose to stay with him, you’re not letting yourself down
The main problem is that "feminism" is seen as some sort of radical social movement that wants to erase gender norms and destroy men. Which isn't the case, but that's what a lot of people think when they hear it. Most guys I know say they support things like, women earning equal wages as men, being in control of their own bodies, and stronger support for women who've been victimized; however, if you asked them if they support feminism, they'd say "hell no". Even though all those topics I mentioned fall under the banner of feminism. I almost wish we had a different term for the promotion of women's rights, but alas that seems impossible.
It depends. I'd ask him what his definition of feminism is.
I don't like feminism either. But not because I don't believe in equality. I DO! Very much so! But today's feminism is not that!
God made Adam first. But he knew he was incomplete without eve so to speak. It's no coincidence that women are strong in every way men are weak. And men are strong in every way women are weak. We weren't made to battle eachother but compliment eachother. Any guy worth anything GETS THAT! Unfortunately sometimes it takes some guys longer than others to learn it.
Your date sounds very smart to me. The 19th amendment was definitely a mistake and should be repealed. The only reason you think it's weird and uncomfortable is because you've been brainwashed to think it's HATEFUL to think otherwise. But you haven't mentioned that he has treated you poorly or disrespectfully at all.
Have you considered having a conversation about why he believes the things he does? And I mean a conversation, not a debate. Take the opportunity to listen and try to understand a different viewpoint.
I would ask him how he defines feminism. If he's against Susan B. Anthony Equality Under the Law Feminism, yeah, dump him yesterday. If he's against Clementine Ford Type Feminism then that is understandable. if you do not know who she is, here are a couple of dandies from her.
It is a red flag if you are a feminist who believes the "pay gap" or in the "patriarchy" and that women are oppressed and that it is 100% FINE that there aren't tons of women in construction, brick laying, welding, oil rig work, HVAC, plumbing, electrician work... etc. but throws a fit that more women aren't in STEM or CEO's or political leaders. You throw off your natural femininity and think women should act like men, career should always trump family and marriage and women are shamed for wanting to be moms and not prioritizing work above all else, preaching women should forgo settling down at 21-22 and getting married but instead having tons of loose, casual sex throughout their 20's and then around 30 find left chump to settle down with your leftovers.
He should run. He should FLEE if you are some modern feminist.
Don't trap yourself in the prison of two ideas. This is one of those things that isn't necessarily one or the other. Just because someone doesn't like feminism doesn't mean they are a misogynist.
Feminism in its current carnation is some kind of lunatic belief that men and women are the same. Just because you think that belief is lunacy doesn't mean you don't respect women. It is possible to respect the DIFFERENCES between the two genders without thinking they are "the same."
I know exactly why you are depressed, because what he said completely changed your point of view on the guy, you now see him in a different light and it changes things, I wouldn't say a guy not supporting feminism is a red flag but the way he said that he doesn't even agree with women voting, that's a bit extreme and shows more than just not supporting feminism or whatever, true definition of a sticky situation I guess
Being a sexist would be a red flag just like being a feminist would be a red flag. I am someone who don't believe in feminism because I believe in equality. How about if I say would it be a red flag to date a girl who doesn't like/believe in masculinism?
It's not a red flag to me that he doesn't believe in feminism especially today's feminist but him not believing women should not have the right to vote would give me pause I'm not going to lie. I'm traditional too and wouldn't have a problem with a guy who has more conservative views but women not having the right to vote is a bit much. Makes me think of the Handmaid's Tale. Yikes.
Being anti-feminist doesn't mean being mysoginistic or abusive. You can be perfectly anti-feminist and a good person, because feminism is mostly a particular political view. Figure out what he's values are, how he behaves and if he's actually mysoginistic or a decent person. However, saying women should not vote is quite extreme, if it's a joke, no problem, if he's being serious, not a good sign
Well, the logical thing to do would be to ask what he means; disapproving of Feminism could be anywhere from demanding equal accountability to demanding burqas. Did you ask why he thinks women shouldn't have the right to vote?
If you are just now finding out about stuff like this you are nowhere **NEAR** ready for a relationship with this guy.
Are you regurgitating feminist propaganda, and upset he is agreeing with you? Remember, women are attracted to powerful men. A guy that openly speaks his mind is displaying power. Is his opinion a deal breaker? If so, break it off immediately and move on with your life.
Well first of all, you shouldn't trust any man today who doesn't dislike modern feminism. Today's feminism is a disaster and anyone, male or female, who supports it is either an asshole or very naïve.
Having said that, this guy does sound like an asshole. You being traditional makes you a high value woman, and you deserve a high value man who will treat you well. Don't settle for an asshole.
If by feminism you mean civil rights like voting, yes.
If you mean a guy who values a woman who can tell the difference between working a minimum wage job to barely get by being as close as most get to slavery, and the role of being a parent and supporting your husband as his domestic partner allowing him to support you by earning the finances the family needs. Then no.You should leave him. He sounds like a tool. The part when he said women should never have won the right to vote, tells me enough. I wouldn't want my daughter dating a tool like that. That hasn't nothing to do with feminist. You should leave him.
If he's against something like women's rights to vote, who knows what else he's against.
Abort mission.
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