The guy I'm talking to says he has 10 close friends. One of them is a girl :/?

[Anonymous]

Can guys and girls be just friends? He said he has 10 close friends. Emphasis on close friends. He said one of them is a girl. Should I be worried? Because when you think about it, having only one girl close friend makes her special, right? Do you think he might have a thing for her?

[LazerBean]

It just depends on what kind of people him and his friends are. If his friends are all trashy, then he's trashy too. In which case it doesn't really matter because you don't want him anyway. And if his friends are not trashy, then it still doesn't matter because they're just not going to do trashy things.

[Samantha36]

You are being way too paranoid. My boyfriend has 1 very close female friend. They talk a lot and hang out a lot. She's married, he's with me. End of story.

[loveslongnails]

Nobody has ten "close friends", he just thinks he does. LOL You must be on the younger side of your age range. If you're just talking with a guy and you're already worried that he has a close female friend, you should probably look inside yourself and ask what you're insecure about.

[Asker]

That's honestly what I've been trying to do. I have to question why I've been insecure. But yuppp I'm on the younger side lol.

[MementoMori777]

Depends if they always spend time in a group or alone together cause I get a friend group having a girl but personally I don't believe in the one on one opposite sex friendships

[Asker]

Why don't you believe in "one on one opposite sex friendships"?

[MementoMori777]

Because I personally never understood the intentions of them, why have opposite sex friends, for a friendship why not go for the same, unless there's different intentions and I can guarantee that most people find their opposite sex friends attractive, I'm not saying they don't exist but what are the odds they are pure

[Asker]

That's honestly what I was thinking. There's no way people of the opposite sex can be 'just friends.' I mean yeah, there are times where people can be just friends. But most of the time there's always an intention behind it. But I honestly don't know what to think at this point with the situation I'm going through right now.

[MementoMori777]

Look nothing has happened yet so I'd say that until it does, don't worry about it, or at the very least until you see signs of something going on, and you get suspicions, then you worry, cause there's no point of worrying about something if it hasn't happened yet cause the chances of it not happening at all are there as well, you can't just avoid that part lol

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Is the one girl his girlfriend?

[Asker]

Lol, no. The girl isn't his girlfriend

[Vikkrram]

Hassh... I don't have no one to call as a friends. No male no female. Just work , eat , sleep and repeat. Hahah

[Asker]

Ahh the work, eat, sleep, and repeat routine. How's that going for you?

[Vikkrram]

Tbh dying inside but can't keep false hope from anyone. Been there it really felt hurted. So can't take any risks in this haha

[Asker]

I honestly feel you. Having false hope is the worst. I've been there too. I'm sorry you had to experience it. It's best if we just keep our guard up. Keep your head up and focus on you. :)

[Vikkrram]

That's life and i have to accept it.

[EmmaMary]

Both my husband and I have many friends of the opposite gender... Within our marriage it's called mutual trust.

[Asker]

Awe, I'm so glad you guys have mutual trust in each other. It must be a great marriage then

[EmmaMary]

Thank you that's so much appreciated.

Please remember that to have a successful relationship/marriage takes a certain amount of work, such as Communication being first and foremost, closely followed by Respect, Trust and Loyalty.

[strateguy632]

no cause for worry even close is just fruend zone and she probly put him in friend zone so no threat.

[Asker]

Haha this kinda makes me feel better, thanks!!

The topic of friend zone did come up and he did question saying, "Isn't every friend in the friend zone?" I said nope and he wanted me to elaborate further. But now that I think of it... do you think he was asking because of the close friend?

[BoopBoopBeep]

I have ten close friends and 6 are women. Does that make you more or less comfortable?

[Asker]

Red flag. Lol just kidding. Kinda more comforting honestly

[BoopBoopBeep]

Honestly I think either response would have been fair, it was more for you to explore how YOU feel. Three of those women I served with, three I dated and it didn't work out a decade ago.

Wbat's the background story on his one?

[Asker]

You're close friends with three women you've dated? Wow.

Also, I don't really know honestly. The topic just came up and I asked how many friends he has. He acted kind of defensive saying that "Can't we just hang out and chill with people? I don't really care about the labels." By the labels he was referring to 'close friends.' He wouldn't answer my previous question of how many of his friends were male and how many were female. So I had to ask again. And all he said was "1 girl."

[BoopBoopBeep]

I'm polite and conversational with over a dozen of the women I've dated, I just don't have occasion to interact with most of them and we grew apart over the years.

To be quite frank I'm more concerned about the "just one" as well, unless he just doesn't know many, period.

More of a red flat to me is this: ""Can't we just hang out and chill with people? I don't really care about the labels."

Life is about labels. "Mortgage" is one..>"Employer" is a good one. "Justifiable homicide" or "criminal act" can be pretty big ones for some people. Words have meaning. If we act like they don't we can't define anything and everything is nebulous. Then I'm never technically cheating on you because we didn't "use a label" that implies monogamy. I've never cheated. Never been tempted, because I understand where borders are drawn and what actions are inappropriate because of where I stand. With his response it wouldn't matter if he has one female friend or a thousand he can sleep with all of them because there aren't any labels to say it's bad behavior.

[LiamJHayden]

My best friend and one of my other close circle friends are girls. In my case, no girl has to worry. They are like sisters. In your situation? Cannot say.

[Asker]

Honestly, what bothers me is how it's only one girl. If he would have told me that he had more that just one, then I would've brushed it off.

[Avicenna]

That seems pretty normal to me. I have more female friends than that (one of whom is an ex).

[Asker]

An ex? How does that work? Lol

[Avicenna]

Well, I dated her almost 30 years ago and she’s now married. She’s just a really nice person and we respect each other. My ex-wife didn’t have a problem with me meeting her alone numerous times at restaurants, so that should tell you something about how trustworthy we are.

[humanearth]

Yes, I have a female best friend. We been friends longer then I knew my wife. And we never did anything sexual together either

[Anonymous]

Insecure much?

Most of my friends are male, and most of my husband's friends are female. It has never been a problem in the almost 7 years we have been a couple.

[Asker]

Glad it's worked out for you :)

[Anonymous]

No one has 10 close friends. And if one is a girl, he wants to bang her.

[Asker]

Well he did mention that he has close friends, kinda close friends, and not so close friends. I don't really know where she is in the spectrum. But yeah, maybe he does lol

[Opinion Owner]

I've heard very famous people say that they only have one or two close friends. Good luck.

[In_Trance]

Guys and girls can be friends. They are unspoken back up plans for each other

[spartan55]

Worried about what?

[Asker]

I guess him having feelings for her and seeing her more than just a close friend.

[spartan55]

You can't think like that. If they were going to be together don't you think they already would be?