Does he resent me for my better wage?

[Anonymous]

My partner of two years made a comment to me about my wage…

I have been sick with flu and was feeling sorry for myself and having a moan (totally justified! 😂)

then he made some comment about the fact I earn $85,000 a year and I just bought a new sports car so can’t complain too much.

he doesn’t earn as much as me and he can’t afford a new car. I feel like that comment came from somewhere and not a good place.

[BoopBoopBeep]

How broke is he? I mean I find that odd, as nearly every man I know, nobody could give a bucket of shite what their lady friend makes as long as she's spending less than it. I guess if he's making 20K or something maybe, but then there are much bigger issues there. I've dated a couple women that made more than me. Didn't care. Saw no reason to. It's not my money either way. I'm not sure what his issue would have been. Is there an update? Did he say anything more later?

[Asker]

No he didn’t say anything else! He’s recently started his own company and he’s doing quite well so I’m not sure why he said it really 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Asker]

He’s just not doing AS well as me but that’s to be expected given I went to college and graduated etc

[BoopBoopBeep]

Well, I wouldn't say that's to be expected. I know a number of people with high school/GED only who are doing a lot better than 85k, but that's neither here nor there. Is this the first time he's acted this way? That would be very strange too, as that indicates something has changed, then it's a function of determining what. That's different than something was always there and we just didn't discover it until recently.

[Asker]

I know he gave up his car to move in with me and he had a couple of boy toys that he sold to set up the business which has left him in debt but that’s not my fault and he’ll be doing so much better in the long run with having his own business. I said to him he’ll probably be earning more than me in a few months!

[provokeesmokee]

He's jealous you actually have a career and he's making nothing of himself.

Dump him.
Get yourself a man who sees your earning power as what it is - well earned and an inspiration.

I'm in a similar boat, earned more than all my partners, and I wouldn't tolerate wage jealousy.

I switched careers and do external studies to get where I am. If a man is jealous, he's wasting time and energy he could use on bettering his position. That's a mistake of a partnership.

[Wise4myage]

Yeah, that was a stupid thing for him to say, and he sounds jealous. Maybe he needs to use your higher wage to motivate him?

[Asker]

He’s acting like a child and I need a man really

[Anonymous]

I guess it’s been bothering him for a long time but I don’t know why he’s not making at least what you’re making since I’m making almost 100,000 a year I don’t even think that’s a lot anymore

[Asker]

It’s not a lot but see the thing is I am a professional and he does like a tradesman type job. I’ve helped him loads but I feel like he resents me

[Opinion Owner]

Yeah, I guess that’s how some guys are because they like to be the one making more money or feel needed

[BoopBoopBeep]

The median HOUSEHOLD income in the United States is just under 68k. If you think 100k is not a lot then perhaps that's' where this is coming from. If you've recently made a comment like that he may think that no amount of money is ever going to be enough for you, being as how 100k is "not a lot." Just because I've been a 6-figure earner for over a decade doesn't mean that most people aren't getting by on significantly less.

[Asker]

@BoopBoopBeep it’s not a lot where I live I suppose. I’m actually considered on a lower salary than most in my area. I’m always the one saying money doesn’t buy happiness though and you only find true happiness in yourself and the people you surround yourself with

[BoopBoopBeep]

RIght, but it's on you to move if you can't afford the area, the fact is we get our azimuth skewed because we're moderately high earners, everyone we hang out with likely is, we start thinking that's the norm, so much like the facebook effect, we think we're barely earning anything. If HE understands that combined you actually have quite nice income and you made a comment like in the prior post, I could see why he'd react that way if you're outlook (or his misunderstanding OF it) was a sudden revelation to him. That would have nothing to do with you earning more than him, it would have everything to do with you not understanding you already make far more than most people out there, and to most men that's a pretty big red flag now a days.

[In_Trance]

maybe. talk to him about it

[Asker]

I have and he just says he doesn’t

[In_Trance]

So why are you still questioning it?

[Asker]

Because his actions and words don’t match up

[Alex8736]

he sounds narcissistic

[boggboss]

Probably jelouse

[devilish-cutie]

he is jaelous