Does he see me as a barely tolerable co-worker, friend, or more?

[Anonymous]

I have this co-worker who is basically the male version of me. From looks, to favorite foods, favorite movies, and most of all, personality. We haven't been working together super long, but when you spend hours working in a classroom together everyday dealing with 20 kids, you can get close quickly. We had an hour long deep conversation the other day, him doing most of the talking. I thought we got along really well. The way he was talking the other day, I actually thought he was going to ask me out. Spoiler alert, he didn't. He's usually friendly with me in person, but doesn't really ask questions. He listens extremely well, maintains eye contact and stuff. Most of our conversations are super deep. But that doesn't mean he cares. He's ignoring my Facebook request even though I'm pretty sure he saw it and then lied to spare my feelings. He has been going through a lot, physically, mentally, emotionally, and there is a possibility that he'll move in about 6 months. His last relationship did not end well. So part of me is wondering if maybe he's afraid to get close. We both have extreme trust issues. Maybe he thinks it's a lot of baggage to handle right now from me too. It's like he cares and likes me, but he couldn't care less at the same time. One of his closer friends hates me, so I wondered if that was it? He also didn't seem thrilled with being placed with me, but he also had previously said he doesn't like staying in one room. Basically I'm just looking for opinions. He's super sweet, and I don't think it would be obvious if he didn't like me. He defends me all the time when people kid, and I think it's because he knows I'm sensetive. Does he even like me as a person? As more? Does he just need to do things on his own time, and warm up? Do I just need to leave him alone completely? He's going through alot- is he just depressed?

Updates

+1 y

So per usual, our conversations have gotten deeper. He told me why he has these trust issues. I 0% blame him, and I appreciate him opening up. He mouthed something to me when he left, but I have no idea what.

[Anonymous]

I mean I don’t know either of you obviously and I’m just nobody. But don’t necessarily think it’s because he doesn’t want to close. You mentioned that he has a lot going on and that he’s been through some things lately. Deciding to enter into a relationship is kind of a commitment and it’s one more thing you have to juggle, have to maintain, on your already full plate—especially when you’re going through some things.

Another alternative is that he isn’t attracted to you romantically, but finds you easy to talk to, hence your deep conversations.

Does he like you? I don’t know.

[Asker]

Thank you for answering!! I absolutely whole-heartedly agree. I'm just trying to figure out how much to back off.

[Asker]

I tried to make you MHO the other day by the way, but for some reason it didn't work and the bot picked one. So sorry!

[Opinion Owner]

Oh it’s no big deal lol. Good luck!

[ImNoOne111]

A girl I used to know was very sad that I asked her out. We were good friends, so similar to each other but when I developed feelings for her and confessed it. She was very sad that she can't say yes. In her description, I was perfect for her but due to very bad breakups she had. She couldnt develop feelings for me so she was sad to lose me but had no other way. I asked her then maybe I should try later but she said there is no way back to a friendship after one develops deep feelings for the other one. Which she was correct

[knallpilz]

Hmm. Sounds difficult. Sounds like you need patience and creativity to find a way for you two to do something that is pontentially somewhat intimate, but not too intimate and not too obvious or forward.

[Asker]

Very difficult. It's a super complex situation in my opinion. Any sort of idea? Or like which way are you leaning? Thanks for answering!

[knallpilz]

I think it's impossible for me to have an idea without being in the situation myself. :D

[spartan55]

Wow, you have so many reasons why you think he is interested. Tbh, none of them seem very strong. You know it's possible that he just isn't attracted to you in that way.

[Asker]

I'm asking because we have something, even if just the eventual potential to be good friends. I wanted honest opinions. If he doesn't like me, I will totally leave him alone.

[spartan55]

No guy ever wants to be your friend.

[In_Trance]

no he doesn't

[Asker]

He doesn't want? Like me even as a person? Thanks!

[Asker]

*what