Guys, My ex broke up with me and now I don’t understand why he is obviously avoiding me?

[Anonymous]

[WaterIsland]

Because the relationship is over. I know personally when a relationship ends I need my own space and time. It’s hard for me to be friends after that. I just need to move on with my life.


I’m so sorry you’re going through a break up tho. It’s not easy. I truly wish you the best and if you need someone to talk to, feel free to message me.


It’ll all be ok in the end. I know it must feel awful right now, but it’ll be ok. It just takes time. Do your best to focus on your own life and the things that bring you joy and happiness. Wishing you the best.

[Asker]

Thank you. But I’m so confused coz he suddenly didn’t talk to me. Like after a week he is completely ignoring and avoiding me like I’m have a contagious disease.

[Asker]

I believe it would be better if we can be casual to each other. Right?

[WaterIsland]

What’s the situation tho? Do you work together? Are you classmates? Like how is he ignoring you? Have you tried to talk to him?

[Asker]

We work together, he is totally ignoring me like a stranger even in where going to bump into each other. And if going together in an elevator he’ll use stairs instead.

[WaterIsland]

Aww I’m sorry. My best guess is it could be one of two things. It could be that it hurts to see or talk to you. Because logically even if he feels like he made the right choice, it still hurts him emotionally and he needs time to heal. OR, it could just be pure immaturity.

Of course it would be better if everything could be normal or at least not cold. But it’s a tough situation with probably a lot of complicated emotions going on that are difficult to navigate through.

[Asker]

I tried to talk to him, he can’t even look at me and kept on walking back and fort just to avoid me.

[Asker]

I’m sure he’s not immature, when were together he told me he’s not that type of person to ignore someone he knows but now he’s acting the other way around. He’s confusing me. He told me he’ll be okay if he sees me doing fine but now I’m showing him I’m doing better but his actions are getting worst. He can’t even stay a little bit longer to an area I am in.

[WaterIsland]

Yeah. It’s really sad and hard. I know. But it truly is one of those two things.

I know this is easier said than done. But do your best to move on and focus on your own life. Focus on work. Focus on your friends and family. Focus on the things that bring you positivity.

Because in this situation, you’re unlikely to find any. And the quicker you can make peace with that fact, the happier you’ll be.

I know that’s easy to say and difficult to do tho. And it’s not meant to diminish your feelings.

[Asker]

I understand, I kept on telling myself that as well. I know it’s easy to say that but it’s not easy to do especially were both avoiding each other, I’m avoiding him as well coz he is doing it just to help him I guess, but as much as we’re avoiding each other we kept on bumping into each other and the weird thing here is it’s like we’re talking to each other everyday on what to wear coz we’re always wearing same color of clothes.

[WaterIsland]

Yeah. That is so tough. I wish there was more I could say to help you. But it’ll be ok in the end. How long ago was the breakup?

[Asker]

Almost 3 months already but he started avoiding and ignoring mo more than a month now.

[WaterIsland]

Aww. Yeah you’re just going to have to push through it. You could always look for another job as well. But I don’t feel like I can make that decision for you.

But you truly can’t do anything about him or the situation. All you can control is yourself and your actions. So you have to focus on that and your happiness and honestly forget about him. Gotta do whatever you can to just move on.

[Asker]

I’m feeling much better now than before. I wanted to quit my job before but now I’m decided to stay but I think he is not getting better. I don’t understand, will he really be okay after seeing me doing my best or I’m fine or what? Now that I’m doing better than before it seems like he is hurting more. I don’t know.

[WaterIsland]

Hopefully this doesn’t come across as rude. But it doesn’t matter. And you shouldn’t care.

I’m not saying he was lying to you when he said that. But we’ve all been in situations where we think something and when it happens it feels different to us or we act differently. Circumstances change, and no one can read the future.

Not saying that’s exactly what’s going on here. But you can’t know what is going on. It’s not worth your time, energy, or effort to figure it out.

You need to focus on yourself and not worry about him and if he’s okay. It’s his job to worry about himself. Not yours.

I know that sounds harsh. But it’s the truth. And I’d say the exact same thing to him if I were talking to him.

I hope you can continue to be happy. There’s absolutely no reason you shouldn’t move on and be happy with your life.

It’s just tough to work together with an ex. But you gotta treat it like it’s not and completely forget about him. If he wanted he be normal with you, he had his chance, and he didn’t take it. Time for you to control what you can and move on.

[Asker]

Yeah, I understand. Thanks for that. You’re right, what he’s doing should concern me anymore. Since that’s his choice maybe he’s feeling better that way. Thank you.

[WaterIsland]

Of course! You got this. Wishing you the best of luck, and if I can provide anymore help or anything let me know. :)

[ProbablyClueless]

He broke up with you because he's tired of interacting with you, and now he's avoiding interacting with you because he's tired of interacting with you.

The relationship is over, as far as he is concerned.

[Asker]

Yup, I understand. But I’m no longer interacting with him. He is making things hard for him, he can’t do the things he needs to do because of what he is doing.. His actions say he still affected more than I am

[ProbablyClueless]

Gotcha... I don't know enough about the situation to have any opinion of any value. All I would say is that he's probably got a lot of mixed emotions, so don't try to look at things too closely.

[Lionman95]

Because that's his way of handling the situation and getting over you. From a guy's point it seems like the least complicated way to handle a break up.

[Asker]

He ended it, but why is he acting as of he’s so affected and hurt.

[spartan55]

Because he broke up with you? Hello?

[spartan55]

I don't understand how you think you know how he feels when you say you don't interact with him?

[In_Trance]

Do you not know how to break up?