Why is my ex-boyfriend suddenly avoiding me?

[Anonymous]

My exbf broke up with me 6 months ago and we were together for 10-11 1/2 months. He broke up with me because he lost interest and I changed my persona. Since then, I’ve worked on myself and my self-esteem greatly, so, we talked regularly at a party, at school (we share the same social circle) and we laughed, had a great time. He seemed fine with me, but then something changed during the months of October-November, there was a party which he and I attented along some of our friends, and that day, he started avoiding me, if I was in front of him, he’ll automatically leave and so on... This has been going on since this day, I haven’t talked bad about him, I haven’t done anything mischievous to him, nothing. So I scratched out the reason that he may be mad at me. I asked one of my best friends, which is HIS best friend, too, about why he’s doing what he’s doing, and my ex said that there’s no reason why he should talk to me, we have no business together, nothing. But he said different things to other people, I don’t know which one is true. I do not want to reach out to him because I did once and he almost didn’t respond. Since we don’t “have any business” together, he still stares at me (A LOT) in school or whenever we’re in a party, he just does it and sometimes doesn’t look away. As far as I’m concerned, he doesn’t want a relationship after ours and only wants to “hook up”. He’s not seeing anyone, as far as I know. He has tried to make me jealous, I think, but I’m not sure at the same time. What is this? What is he trying to do? Why is he doing it?

[BumbleTea]

He's acting weird. He's givin all these mixed messages. It sounds like he dont know what he's doing either though or at least what he wants. He'll avoid you then stare from a far, he tells you in a a way "yall ain't got no business together" yet has tried to make you jealous. He might have sparked some new feelings again and doesn't know how to handle them. Specially since he ain't in a relationship either.

I kinda think he wants your attention. I don't know why. Since he has mixed mesaages. But maybe he's missing the old relationship...

But I would do him like he does you. Cuuuuuz he's acting up... for no reason. Be the epitomy of "we ain't got no business"... maybe
avoid him once or twice.. maybe he'll crack, after not liking how it feels and talk or just explain himself...

.. just my opinion tho..

[Asker]

I understand what you’re saying completely, I have received the same type of answer that he’s trying to get my attention though I don’t give it to him, I don’t talk to him or reach out to him on social medio or through his friends. I stay in my own lane and as you said, he still hasn’t “cracked”. What do you think?

[BumbleTea]

I don't know. Maybe give him a little attention, you lowkey have the power.

It all depends on how you feel. And if you wanna salvage the current friendship you have.

You can continue to ignore him if you want, if he wants your attention and realize his tatics aren't working, he's gonna have to try something else.

Ooor seek him out first, he might not completely understand his feeling, but you know yours. Lowkey gives you the upperhand cuz your not basing actions off of random emotions. Call him out, doesn't gotta be confrontational. Be like, I see your avoiding me and it's bothering me, if i did something, just lemme know cuz I dont like the situation (that mightve sounded confrontational lmao)... maybe like that or maybe not like that, but, how you feel best.

I personally find games tiring, so ignoring or confronting the issue is what I might do...

[Asker]

Yeah, those are great options, tbh. Thank you for sharing them with me, even though I might be scared of the embarrassment if he doesn’t respond to my text or ignores me in person, I guess it is truly one of the best things to do. Thank you for all the help!

[AwkwardAnswers]

No one really knows what he's trying to do except him. Unfortunately, I can't really answer that for you. What it does look like, though, is that he's messing around and doesn't have your best interests at heart. I don't know how strongly you feel about keeping him as a presence in your life, but I think you're probably better off trying to move on, separate yourself from him, and let him play his games by himself.

[Asker]

Exactly, I agree with you that the only one that knows is him. Thank you for the piece of advice, I’ve been strongly considering it, but at least before I move on, I would like to know why he’s doing this messing around.

[AwkwardAnswers]

My opinion: if he didn't have any kind of feelings for you anymore, he would just leave you alone, and/or just interact with you like he would an acquaintance. The fact that he won't just (a) stay away from you or (b) be straight with you, given that he broke up with you, supports the theory that he's still got mixed up feelings about you. Whether that's angry, sad, happy, regretful - any emotions at all other than pure indifference signal toward him having some feelings for you, and maybe not knowing what to do about it.

That's my best guess. And I totally get if you want him to be a part of your life. But he's just expressing an immaturity/lack of consideration that I think you're better off without.

Best of luck with this situation!

[Asker]

I completely agree with you on this, and I understan better now. Thank you so much and I will see what’s best for me and just focus on myself, he’ll come later on or maybe not, and that’s fine. Thanks again!

[skykanti]

Typical behavior. Probably over you, or trying really hard. But it seems like you really want him or are bothered by his absence. Treat him the same way he's treating you, make sure you play hot pictures of yourself living life, it'll bother him seeing u happy without him.

[Asker]

I miss him from time to time, I care about him but I don’t love him like I did when we were together anymore. It does bother me that he changed his behavior towards me in just one day. I don’t let him see me in a bad mood, nor do I post sad or mopey statuses on social media, keeping my mood positive all the time.

[skykanti]

Try to stay strong, join a gym or something. You didn't come into this world with him, you don't have to leave with him either, if you know what i mean. Hang in there and good things will come your way only if you work on yourself instead of sulking about the past. If it's really meant to be and he comes back he better have a really good explanation. Or else a prince for you is waiting somewhere else

[Asker]

Thank you for giving me this wonderful advice! I’m trying to distract myself by learning a new language and practicing a different sport... I will move on with my life, thanks again!

[skykanti]

Niceee :D what language are you leaning?

[Asker]

Italian😁

[Jan_Classic]

Guys of your age are extremely immature. They go crazy as teenagers, sometime. Just dump them down with no chance to come back, you'll get some better choice among those 26+.

[Asker]

Thank you and you’re right!!

[That1GingerKid]

It's weird for him to be around you since you use to date

He's stepping away so he can move on

[Asker]

Thank you for letting me know!! I would consider this as another possible reason why he’s avoiding me.

[Bear41]

Perfectly stated.

[Bear41]

By BumbleTea