I need men to answer this?

[Anonymous]

I had sex with a friend. We were both going through something at the time and decided we wanted to do that. Some months later I told him I felt emotionally attached and didn't want to have casual sex anymore. He apologized about the situation and said he doesn't want to date right now. I felt so much relief and thanked him for being honest. Then he said he hopes we can still talk and be friends. We weren't very close friends just.. friends. For almost two years. I don't see the point in being friends after we've had sex and I caught feelings. Isn't it smarter to just go separate ways? So I guess my question is why would he want to try and stay friends when he knows how I feel?

[BoopBoopBeep]

All the reasons you were friends before are still there and valid. He liked your sense of humor and honesty (or whatever it was, I don't care, doesn't change anything), and those are still there. You guys were each going through some stuff, worked out some stress with one another, you got feelings, but you STILL HAVE that sense of humor and honesty and whatever else.

Bottom line, nothing changed for him, it changed for you, you got feelings, why would you expect him to NOT want to be friends all of a sudden?

[Asker]

Well I was thinking from a woman's point of view. If a guy caught feelings that weren't reciprocated I would probably expect him to just move on. But what you said makes sense too.

[BoopBoopBeep]

I've slept with a number of women that didn't have feelings for me back. I was still getting laid by women I found extremely attractive (physically and otherwise). I've little incentive to walk away from that.

[Asker]

Lol o ok. So you had feelings for them and still continued to have sex with them knowing they didn't want u romantically. I guess it's different for men. It was my first time trying something like that and I learned my lesson lol

[BoopBoopBeep]

Yeah I mean... they don't love me... okay... still killer sex. So they can either not love me and I can NOT get laid, or they can not love me and I get laid. Seems a no brainer from my standpoint.

[Ironic_Method]

So I've been in this situation a few times. I find someone that we just want to have sex a few times a week. It usually turns into a little more friends with benefits situation because I try to make my living space cozy and peaceful. Most people that want sex but don't have time in a relationship don't tend to have those things and it evolves to where she catches feelings and it has to stop. Generally I still want to be friends because I like them as a person, but don't feel romantic towards them.

[Asker]

So who stopped it you or her? And you stayed friends?

[Ironic_Method]

Most of the time... me. I don't want to keep someone from a whole relationship because they're infatuated with the idea of a perfect partner. It's easy to like someone when all you do is have sex, cuddle up to watch movies, and he makes dinner for you.

[Asker]

Wow, yeah definitely haha. So you making dinner was just you being kind? He is similar in a way. He has very good qualities I noticed when we were together.

[Ironic_Method]

I think it's that many men do nothing so me doing the bare minimum is amazing. Usually when I make dinner it's because... IM hungry and I just happen to have a guest. It's not much more work to feed another person.

But again, when all they associate me with is sex, food, cuddling, and leaving the toilet seat down they're going to get the notion that I'm the best ever, which isn't the case.

I'm also married, so that may have something to do with it.

[Asker]

Lol yeah, bare minimum is usually excluded from the package. Did she know you were married?

[Ironic_Method]

Oh yes. They always meet my wife at some point now that she works from home.

[SexyBrunetteNY]

Yes, totally detach from him. NO FRIENDS he's just saying that hoping you'll still let him have sex with you as a back up, some men are soo selfish. Forget him and someone better will come along, don't waste more time on him.

[Asker]

Thanks so much

[SexyBrunetteNY]

Sorry he's so inconsiderate. Block him even, all of this needs to be done when you have to move on.

[Asker]

It sucks, I didn't think it would be so intense. Did you go through this before?

[SexyBrunetteNY]

Kind of, me and guy who grew up together later got involved. We were separated by things beyond our control but still, eventually after so much heartache, I cut him off totally. We had a strong history of friendship since we were kids, but it was best for ME. If someone can't or won't put you first, this is the only way forward.

[ShadowYamihiro]

Honestly doesn't really matter why he said it, yes it can be to keep you as backup, it could also mean he does want to be friends and then again it can also mean that perhaps he said it to be polite or something. What matters is what you wanna do? if you aren't close and don't want to be close and you really don't see the point in having him in your life then simply move on and slowly or suddenly ( what ever you feel like is better ) end the ''friendship''

[Asker]

Thankss

[ShadowYamihiro]

You are welcome

[ProbablyClueless]

He doesn't have an issue being just friends after having sex with you because the sex didn't change anything for him. He didn't develop feelings for you. So you're basically just talking about going from acquaintances, to having sex, to not just being some person you used to have sex with, but don't have any hard feelings for.

He had good reasons to want to be your friend before and those reasons are still around.

[Asker]

That makes sense from his end. But for me it's kind of hard.

[ProbablyClueless]

I hear that! Unfortunately, he's not taking your feelings into consideration with behavior like this.

[Fuentes]

Honestly I would see u as just another nut to busy after we smashed and it would ruin the friendship cause I'm low-key waiting for u to give me a sign to let me smash again.

[Asker]

This! Because how are we gonna be friends now? I think that his thoughts are exactly what you said and it hurts lol Such a bad decision on my end.

[Fuentes]

It happens lol y'all can be friends bur it's gonna be like friends with benefits I guess maybe you'll stop having feelings and if u can't then it's best to just not see eachother lol

[AviatorTom]

Guy opinion: He likes having you as a friend, and he thinks, just maybe, sometime in the future, you might be more than friends. It's called keeping your options open.

[Nifrayu]

Maybe it didn't cross his mind that your feelings could get in the way of friendship. I'm sure he still values you as a friend and doesn't want to give that up in any case.

[DextroShade]

If you have sex with him he isn't your friend, not that guys are really your friend anyway. Either he sees you as recreational use only or there's something wrong with him..

[Jp1990]

I personally don't feel like men and women can be just friends after the line gets crossed

[Imsmurter1]

I do'nt know could be many reasons. Maybe he had tough break up or self esteem or depression issue

[spartan55]

For the easy sex, duh.

[Asker]

But that's over so I guess it would be wishful thinking

[spartan55]

Doesn't mean he won't try.

[Anonymous]

so all you did was spread your legs out and now you're confusing love for sex fucking pathetic

[Opinion Owner]

do yourself a favor in the future and quit being a whore then you won't be in these situations

[Asker]

Why did you feel the need to go anonymous to post this? That is what's pathetic lol next

[Emanon25]

As a backup to him.

[Asker]

Backup? What do you mean?

[Emanon25]

In case he can’t find someone else besides you then he’ll come to you.

[Asker]

Oh for sex. Yeah, no 👎. Thanks !

[Emanon25]

Unfortunately yeah

[Anonymous]

He's wants to be friends with benefits

[Opinion Owner]

. He

[Sabretooth]

yup...