Boyfriend mentions breaking up every fight?

[Anonymous]

I’ve tried to tell him that it hurts me and makes me anxious but he says he’s just being honest. Every single time we fight without fail he will imply if I don’t change my behaviour he will have no other choice but to break up with me. EVERY SINGLE TIME.

And an example of a fight we tend to have is me making a joke and him not understanding it and then I explain it wrong so he gets annoyed or I piss him off any other small way. I don’t do anything bad like cheat or lie. Like does that warrant break up threats? Is this how most couples fights go?

[Anonymous]

Unless he’s got serious anger issues there has to be more to this than just a simple, misunderstood joke. So if he does have serious anger issues he needs to get help which may be a hard thing to do especially if you were to suggest it. Considering he would probably get mad, denying he has issues. Sounds as though there’s more fights than you’re making it sound out to be. I mean honestly can you say you haven’t started arguments or gone off the wire for some stupid reason? Do you deal w issues yourself? You make it sound as though it’s all him. I’d start questioning breaking up myself if we were always arguing. It’s amazing how every woman pretty much took your side w out really knowing what’s going on. Calling it manipulation. It’s not manipulation if she’s the one who’s off the wire. Sure I’ve said that to a ex before. It wasn’t cause I was trying to manipulate her, but because I really loved her. I didn’t want to leave her, we were together 4 four years of high school. So I gave her every chance, even when she flipped out on me at my mom’s house and slapped me in front of my brothers because I didn’t want to go w her that night because I knew it wouldn’t be a good idea. I’m just saying look at yourself as well, can you say you’re not at fault for all of these issues as well?

[Asker]

Most of these fights are small fights which I don’t intentional start, he gets annoyed if I fall asleep while texting him. That starts a fight. For not understanding a joke , he says I don’t make sense and that starts a fight well when I say starts a fight he gets annoyed, I always try to defuse the situation, I’m constantly apologising to him and trying to make it up to him when I’ve annoyed him. I literally don’t blame him I blame myself for falling asleep or being annoying. I wasn’t clear in my question. I don’t start fights intentionally. That’s the way they go , over something that annoys him. Do you think I’m at fault? Im quick to admit fault and apologise anyway I’m just curious if causing him to want to break up with me

[Asker]

I never get angry at him but he gets angry/annoyed a lot

[Asker]

Like the latest fight , I fell asleep watching a movie we both planned watching together, it was annoying because it was date night and I feel asleep for 30 mins and I woke up and he was mad at me. I tried to apologise and offer to do date night again. That’s what caused the latest break up threat, he said me falling asleep is me annoying and pissing him off again and if I don’t stop pissing him off in general we will break up

[Opinion Owner]

So then you do as I said if he’s the one w issues. Suggest he gets help to which he’s going to get mad about, which will start a fight. Or you leave him. You don’t want to live this type of life the rest of your days. Not healthy. I don’t think the pros outweigh the cons of this relationship. Based on your age range you’re not that old, you can still meet someone better. How long have you been w him? What was your last relationship like?

[spartan55]

If it were me that would happen once. The next time she would be kicked to the curb. Your boyfriend is an immature drama queen who is emotionally abusive. Is that all you think you are worth?

[HollyK21]

I didn’t want to hijack helpfulwoman’s opinion but she’s absolutely right, if he keeps threatening to leave then you should do it first.


Is he worried about the house as well? If so, do you really want a relationship where love isn’t the glue that holds you together but possessions are? What happens when the house doesn’t even matter to him and he just wants out?


You’d have to cross this road eventually, I just think it’s better to do it now. No matter how pissed he got at me, my fiancé has never ever threatened to leave me, so the fact yours is says a lot about how he feels.

[Sour-rose]

Just a simple, easy way to make you say "No, please!" a form of manipulation. Like saying "I'll pull the trigger to my head if you don't ______"

:)... sooo if he wanna leave, let that n*gga leave. He sounds like a toxic mofo

[Anonymous]

I don't know man, can you blame him? whenever couples fight, and give that reason he gave "if you don't change your behavior, break up" he really truly is being honest. why be in a relationship if fights are this explosive all of the time? not healthy...

NOW, where this changes things is your example of fights, it just sounds like he's toxic, putting the blame on you and just a straight up asshole. so why not just break up with him instead?

[HelpfulWoman]

So just leave? That's not normal and is a way of manipulation if every argument is "if you don't do this/start doing this I'm leaving"

[Asker]

I love him I don’t want to break up and we own a house together. I just don’t get why he says it every time why can’t we have a fight and not have to mention breaking up

[HelpfulWoman]

because he's a toxic arsehole? You're being a fool frankly.

[provokeesmokee]

Then break up with him first.

Threatening to leave you is a manipulative tactic. That's gross. He is also not even trying not to hurt you, he's actively trying to make you more anxious.

That's not a good trait in a partner.

[Anonymous]

He's either trying to make you fold during arguements using this threat or he is trying to tell you he wants to end it. I know it's easier said than done but the best it to leave

[Asker]

He never actually breaks up with me though. He says we will eventually if I don’t stop annoying him but he also says he doesn’t want to break up

[RyanK9b]

Most guys want peace, beauty and sex from their girl (highest priorities).

If he's so stressed of work or something else doesn't he need any other stress factor.

Thats maybe a valid reason to break of if the barrel overflows

[Momma-404]

Sounds like emotional abuse. I’ve been through something just like this.

[Sasha0426]

It’s a manipulation tactic he’s using. If your partner threatens to break up after every fight/argument, leave immediately.