Why does he break up after every argument?

[Anonymous]

I have been with my boyfriend 11 months now. We fight sometimes, not to often. He has broken up with me a few times in the past because of arguments, he says we just can't get along. We both end up not being able to kick the heartbroken blues, so we try to address the problem and work on it. I believe we sincerely do love each other. This helped for a few months until recently. He broke up with me again and said it was for good this time, we just could not get along. Its been a few days and we are gradually starting to talk things over again. The last time this happened we made huge progress in our relationship. Should I try to keep progressing for the sake of our love or stick out the heartbreak and move on? I have no idea what it "really" means when a guy takes the easy route out and breaks up. h knows its immature also. can he change that? Help!

[HopelessAndLost21]

Tough call. I know you must really love this guy to be putting up with this treatment, and you have invested nearly a year into this relationship which is also completely understandable.

It's not wrong to love the guy despite his short comings, but the breaking of commitment every time there's a disagreement is incredibly wrong. It sounds like he can't stand not having his way and wants to find the quickest route, not so much to end the relationship, but to hurt you.

That's a level of immaturity that will take years to sort out, if ever.

I would recommend sitting down and telling him flat out how his 'break up' defence is making you feel and that you won't tollerate it any more. Then he has the option of ether changing his ways, or continueing to be an ass. But the next time he pulls that short of crap, he won't be blind sided when you don't come back.

[sumina7]

He must have grown up seeing his mom always trying to make the relationship work while his dad practically did whatever he wanted. If that is the kind of role model he grew up with, then he would also behave like that.

When there is disagreement, how would you like him to handle it?

Do you handle it responsibly, focussing on the issue rather than blaming him for it?

Read a book called "crucial conversations".

There is no reason why the relationship has to be held hostage for settling small arguements.

[bittorment]

I think it would be best to move on, this is not a healthy relationship, and if you're waiting for him to change: forget it, this won't happen.

A guy that really loves you won't break up after each argument, he would be much to scared of losing you forever.

[WaitingAtTheDoor]

This guy is a baby. Get out of this awful relationship while you still have your youth and your wits.

He should really think about counseling.