New guy I'm dating doesn't cheer up from bad moods when I initiate get-togethers?

[Bethany22]

You'd think that since it's a new person he's dating, and that he had said he was excited about, that if I were to initiate get-togethers with him, that that would be enough to bring him out of his current bad mood, right? But when I initiated an outing one day, he declined because he said he was in a bad mood, and that it was better that he just be alone during that time. Does that mean that he's not that into me, if a new girlfriend wanting to hang out doesn't cheer him up? He said he has bad moods often.

[OfMiceandMen]

If he does it once, then I wouldn't put much stock in it, but, if it starts to look like his go- to, then I would get a little concerned.

I would say, give him the benefit of the doubt this one time. He may have just been having the crappiest day of his life and he didn't want to burden you with it or try to explain it. Once in a blue moon you just need to be left alone to come to terms with things.

As for me, I would have seeing going out with someone you enjoy being with as being an opportunity to bring me out of a funk.

[lightbulb27]

no I don't think that be true. It might be true once you know each other well. But for an introvert or someone whose depressed or down a lot, it can be more tiring to interact.

something is wrong, this is not a fair measure of your worth, and it's not your responsibility to bring him up.

That said... it is nice when one is down, if the other can comfort or "redirect" them so they can enjoy their day. That is a good goal.

how the heck are you picking these guys? Some down days is fine. A lot... something is wrong.

[provokeesmokee]

Nah, just means he knows what he needs when he's in these moods.

However, if he's down too frequently for your tastes, it's time to consider whether or not you're ok with that. He probably won't be able to change, and if he isn't taking steps to manage his mental and emotional health, he won't be able to be in a healthy relationship.

[johnnydeeeep]

I can't imagine what caused you to seek a relationship with him, is this a new tendency of his that you haven't seen before. If so ask him what's up. If there no good reason move-on and leave him to figure out his life... Your not a psychologist looking for a patient, you're a woman looking for a relationship, right?

[Anonymous]

Honestly he is depressed which is sad but you can't cheer up for days or months.

Being a new girlfriend would cheer any guy up but he is depressed so nothing will make him happy.

Most have waves of it for weeks or just a day.

If he won't cheer up then it will be a bad relationship and he will have more episodes of just boring sad.

[exitseven]

ask him what's bothering him. Maybe he hates his job or hates college. Maybe his family is driving him crazy. At any rate maybe he has good reason.

[TallAnon]

What kind of get-together do you suggest? I can see not wanting to go hiking, for example; But cuddling on the couch with a movie on sounds good. I bet some people prefer the opposite, so maybe that's it?

[FunkyMonkee]

Sounds like he's gonna be too much effort.
How do YOU feel about HIM? Are you in it for love or are you just trying to fix him?

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

Maybe he suffers from Mood Disorder and he could be suffering with depression.

[Likes2drive]

That’s strange, even if I was in a bad mood going out with a new girlfriend would cheer me up, I’m almost always in a good mood and don’t let it affect others if I am

[Staximus]

If the bad mood thing keeps happening, give him the shake. You don't need a Debbie downer

[Anonymous]

Damn why you're behaving like his mom?

[Anonymous]

Probably.