I'm an autistic female, and struggling with my brother in law who I and his girlfriend ( my SIL) suspect is autistic also. I hang around with my husbands family A LOT. My husband has 2 sisters, one whom is married to a woman. Another has been with this guy for 2 years. I love my in laws we have a very close relationship and hang out all the time. Up untill this dude came into the question. He singles me out, won't give me eye contact but will look at everyone else ( including my SILs wife) but completely blank me. One night we went to this scary maze without my SIL ( his girlfriend) and we got on so well. I was at the back of the maze getting chased by the actors and he stayed with me making sure I feel safe and told everyone how going at the back with me was really fun. He spent the night teasing me ( in a child like way) and by the end of it I felt we had formed a good friendship. Next time when I saw him and my sister in law was around he was blanking me completely. We are very similar as I like to collect crystals and he fossils, both big lovers of horror and scary things, both love being scared, both adore Jack the ripper ghosts and Pokémon
We're almost the same person its so eerie. The problem I have is my SILS are literally as an autistic person my safe place. I love being around them, this guy being so hot and cold make it's really challenging for me.
We host a games night at our house and one time one of the chairs he was sitting on which was next to me was broken, I told him to move seats as that one's broken and he refused.. it was almost like he didn't want to move from sitting next to me. But in that same time he will completely blank me and not look me in the eyes.
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It's important to remember that every individual, whether autistic or not, has their own unique behaviors and preferences. It's possible that this person's actions are not intentionally meant to make you uncomfortable. Autism can manifest in various ways, and some individuals may struggle with social interactions, which could explain the inconsistent behavior you're observing.
It seems like you both share common interests, and you've had positive interactions with him, so it might be worth having a conversation with him about your feelings and concerns. He may not be aware of how his behavior affects you, and open communication could help clarify the situation and improve your relationship. Understanding and patience can go a long way in building connections with others, especially when autism is involved.