All our guy friends were sober but waited until all us girls were drunk to make-out, touch us up, should I ghost them?

[lamuñekita]

was out parting w some friends.

all of us girls had a guy/date we were interested in, each one was one of our guy friends in the group we where in.

they all ordered us drinks and we ended up getting wasted. they were all 100% sober and that’s when they decided to take one by one to a different area in town to make out and touch them up, or smash (while i was being taken by the hand to a bench by my date behind the bushes i saw like 4 pairs of the guys and girls in our group at it in some strange areas, one girl was even too drunk to even be aware).

im aware this is wrong but i honestly feel weird about it. it’s the week after and i don’t feel like meeting up with them , something about it put me off.

am i overreacting or is this normal u feel this way?

[Benjiman19]

Your feelings are normal, yes. But what they did with y'all, not normal at all. If you girls are drunk enough to not even be aware of where you are then you're definitely drunk enough to not give consent to the things these guys did with y'all. Whether or not y'all wanted it, it wasn't consentual. What they did with y'all is not right.

[zagor]

Guys can be impotent after drinking too much, even young guys. So they did the right thing, from their POV. And yours, if you wanted it.

[lamuñekita]

they were all sober

[Anonymous]

Wait are you putting the blame sorely on the guys? While it's disgusting what they did and they never should have done what they done. You are the one who chose to pick up the drink and drink it and you were also the only one responsible for how drunk you got.

Maybe women and men need to stop getting drunk

[lamuñekita]

no, but it the fact they decided to pounce while we where drunk, and not sober.
a drunk person doesn’t make 100% the right decisions and you should not touch them.
for example, drunk me was all for it.
then i woke up and completely regretted what we had done.
also we drunk thinking they where going to drink as well

[lamuñekita]

i don’t really like this comment because it gives off the same same vibes as “you wore that outfit so it was also your fault you got violated, because you are responsible of what you wear”. women and men should be able to drink freely if not hurting anyone else. i had 3 drinks and it hit me bad, i usually take 6-7 for it to get me. sometimes alcohol gets u worse some days

[Benjiman19]

Replying to the anonymous girl here.

Yes, she chose to drink and she got drunk. But it's most definitely fully on the SOBER guys to take responsibility for their ladies at that point. What they did is borderline rape with them. It's very wrong and shouldn't happen at all. Plus, they split them up probably so none of them would see what the other was doing or so they could keep them there longer instead of trying to leave with their friends. Red flags all over with these guys. If they didn't plan this night out with these women before it even began, they definitely planned it while out with them.

So, the blame is not on the drunk women at all, it's on the sober guys who had every control of the situation and decided to touch these unconsenting women.

[lamuñekita]

@Benjiman19 that’s what i’m saying. i’m fully aware of how drunk i got but that should never be an invitation to take advantage. as i said, i even regretted what happened that night and i would’ve stopped it if i wasn’t intoxicated. next time i know not to trust anyone when they say they will take care of me drunk

[Benjiman19]

@Iamuñekita if you ever went out with me, you could trust I'd take care of you. I know right from wrong. And I know how to actually treat a woman

[Altheavas]

Are you trolling or for real?
In my opinion, That’s straight up rape, how long are you gonna put it off and not report it?

[lamuñekita]

no no no we live in a small town and i don’t want trouble

[Altheavas]

I understand even the walls have ears in small town.
But you’re sacrificing yourself including your friends sense of selves values and saving others peace while sacrificing yours.
You guys will get known as the town bikes, I don’t mean any derogatory terms toward you, again it’s a small town, it doesn’t take long for the news to spread. Also you’re sacrificing your mental health, and you might regret it later.

[MikeTheBartender]

Confused... Smash like fuck? This sounds borderline rape without more context. Who was ordering drinks? We're you aware they weren't drinking?

[RavVid]

Like it would have been all OK if the guys had got all drunk too as they promised to do. You were to busy drinking to notice they guys weren't?

I find it hard to have sympathy. It sounds like a 'buy us all the alcohol we can drink and do what you want with us' party.

You at least knew you would be up for sex with a few drinks under your belt from what you say and it seems like the other girls were too. So you get drunk and have sex and are surprised about it.

The only person who is responsible for your drinking is yourself. Doubtless you will not like this comment.

[MikeTheBartender]

@RavVid I bartended a long time as the name states, these cases always get more interesting if the guy is drunk too, because then it's pretty much cross complainants. Not enough context here to know if the guys plotted something or if everyone was just drunk and "smashed".

[lamuñekita]

i kept telling my date i didn’t want to do anything when we were sober and then he found me drunk at 3 am and i remember just saying “F it” in my mind, i also felt bad since he kept asking the whole day and stupid me, not knowing how to say no, and drunk too just gave in

[RavVid]

Law can get very silly. If I get drunk then drive and kill someone then drinking alcohol exacerbates my offence. Yet if I get drunk and kill someone in a fight than I will get a lesser sentence with diminished responsibility for my actions. In fact a guy got drunk and raped a young girl - nearer 14 than 16 from memory - and got a really short sentence because of diminished responsibility; something like 6 months.

Diminished responsibility doesn't pass the pub test; you knew you were drinking and getting intoxicated. Very few, other than learned judges, would accept "I was drunk" as an excuse.

In situations where both parties are excessively drunk well...

Don't know how similar law is in the US wrt intoxication. What are the cross complaints you mentioned?

[lamuñekita]

@RavVid i’m only complaining because he took advantage when i wasn’t in my 100% mind. i know i’m responsable for drinking and i said yes drunk (which i would never have done sober, i forgot half the night) but that just shows what type of person he is, in spain the law is anything you do with a drunk person is illegal, even if the drunk initiated.

[Flatmanlewis]

They aren’t your friends. This is the textbook definition of rape.

[HouseMoat]

If you feel like you were sexually assaulted, then yeah, I would

[lamuñekita]

i just feel like it was kind of predatory and i don’t see them the same anymore

[QuietRunner]

did you say no or fight about it

They aren't your guy friends if they take advantage of you

the unaware girl, that is usually considered rape

[collie22]

Follow your gut feelings hun

[Sunnybeach123]

No, it's very wrong

[9inchChaceOF]

Ghost them. Dudes are predators