Sleeping on other people’s shoulder?

[Anonymous]

He put his head on my shoulder and sleep.. he did this few times everytime we are on the subway. But if we are standing, he would put his arm on my shoulder then only he put his head Friends do that?

[Oliverlogan263]

Eh, sleeping on your shoulder on the subway doesn't really seem that normal or friendly to me. A few times is kinda weird. Maybe if you were close friends it would be different. But putting his arm over you too while standing seems kinda intimate. I'd be kinda weirded out by that personally. Friends don't usually cuddle up on each other like that, especially without asking. He might be into you and using the excuse of being tired to get close. Or he's just not respecting your space. Either way, I'd tell him clearly that you're not comfortable with him sleeping on you or touching you like that without permission. Set some boundaries so he doesn't get the wrong idea. Friends respect each other's space, this dude seems to be crossing a line.

[Asker]

So you saying the whole situation is kind of acceptable if it is between brstfriend? He do be crossing the line for few times

[Oliverlogan263]

Okay yeah, upon further reflection some of those physical behaviors seem to cross beyond normal best friend boundaries. A few thoughts:

- Leaning on your shoulder or putting his arm around you on the subway is one thing occasionally if you're both comfortable. But doing it repeatedly starts blurring lines.

- Fully placing his head on your shoulder and using you as a pillow to sleep multiple times would be weird for just friends in my opinion. Too intimate.

- You have to think about your own comfort level too. If any of those things made you tense up or feel uneasy, that's a sign it's crossing a line for you personally.

I'd have an honest chat with him at some point when you get a chance. Let him know while you care about him as a friend, some of the physical closeness has you questioning what you both really want out of the relationship.

Pay attention to how he reacts when you bring it up. If he seems aware he was pushing boundaries and apologizes, maybe the friendship can continue with clearer understanding. But if he tries to insist it was fine or brushes off your feelings, that's disrespectful.

At the end of the day you need to follow your gut. Set limits if you think he wants more than you're ready for. And don't feel bad prioritizing your own boundaries and comfort too. Good friends respect that.

[Anonymous]

Damn such a simp he is...