My husband always say I am ugly?

[Anonymous]

I lost my self confidence because of my husband. I know he has mental issues. He always telling me that I am ugly while other people telling me I am cute. I reached to the point that when someone telling me I am good looking, in my mind I say they are lying. Now, when I look to the mirror I see myself ugly. How can I overcome this situation?

[Oliverlogan263]

That really fucked up, I'm sorry your husband says those things to you. No one deserves to be treated like that or have their self worth attacked. A few thoughts:

- His mental issues may contribute but it's not an excuse to emotionally abuse you. You don't have to tolerate being put down.

- When others compliment you, choose to believe them over his negative voice. They have no reason to lie and see you with fresher eyes than he does.

- Spend more time with friends/family who build you up - be around positivity as much as possible to counter the lies he's told.

- Consider counseling to work on accepting yourself again - a therapist can help break down the damage done to your self-image.

- His words say way more about his own insecurity than your looks. Try not to take them personally even though I know it's hard.

- You deserve to feel good about yourself! Don't let anyone steal your sunshine. You're awesome with or without his approval.

Believe in yourself. Don't let his dysfunction drag you down too. Do what's best for your mental health and happiness. You got this!

[Asker]

Thanks a lot. Will try some of your suggestion. They are really helpful. I hope I can gain my confidence again

[Oliverlogan263]

You've totally got this girl! It'll take some time but just focus on treating yourself with kindness. Don't let that jerk bring you down anymore. Whenever you start feeling doubtful, just remember all the people who tell you you're cute - they see your worth. Your husband is just insecure in himself so he takes it out on you, but don't internalize that crap.

When you look in the mirror, try saying nice things to yourself instead of what he's got stuck in your head. Compliment your own features - like your eyes, hair, smile whatever you like about yourself. Do stuff that makes YOU feel good too, not just what he wants. Hang out with friends who lift you up. It'll take time but you'll start feeling better about yourself again without his insults.

You seem really sweet so I know you'll find an even better dude one day who loves how you look and makes you feel like a queen. But first you gotta love yourself again. So keep your head up, surround yourself with real friends, do what makes YOU happy. You deserve to feel confident and beautiful! If you ever need someone to hype you up or vent to, hit me up. We'll get your confidence back in no time. :)

[Asker]

I dont know what to say. I am speechless. Thanks a lot🙏🏻. I will look at and read your replies whenever I am down😊

[Oliverlogan263]

You're a queen and don't let anyone, especially not some dude, make you feel otherwise.

Surround yourself with your real friends who hype you up. Treat yourself to stuff that makes YOU happy. When you look good, you FEEL good! And eff that jerk for constantly putting you down, his opinion means nothing.

You are so much more than what some toxic dude says. Stay strong and keep shining from within, cause that light of yours is too bright for any shade. Remember - you are beautiful, you are worthy, you are enough exactly as you are. Believe that!

And anytime you start doubting, come back to re-up on self love. We all in this together, girl! You got this - now go show the world just how much of a boss queen you are. He's going to regret ever messing with your glow up. You got this sis!

[Asker]

🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️

[Anonymous]

This is retention behaviour. When insecure men feel that their place in a relationship is unstable or challenged, some resort to emotional sabotage to limit the options of their partner. Honestly, if he feels he isn't good enough but is taking it out on you, leaving and seeking refuge may be the best option, especially if there are no kids involved.

[Asker]

2 kids

[Opinion Owner]

[sigh], Ok. So leaving is the nuclear option, but parental togetherness is significantly important. I would suggest couples therapy; it is his own insecurities that are causing him to drag others down with him. Treat the insecurities and he behaviours should stop, after that it's up to him to set things right.

[Asker]

Thanks a lot

[Opinion Owner]

Remember, men's mental health is about situation change as much as it is emotional understanding; talking alone doesn't work for men. There will likely be a circumstance that is triggering his feelings of insecurity in the relationship, be it fitness, work, appearance, etc.

If this is partner retention, his actions are out of Fear of Losing You, but his efforts to keep you close can be the very ones that push you away

[Asker]

You said it right, he tries to keep me no matter what and his actions pushing me away further

[wolfcat87]

The only solution is to leave him for someone who compliments you regularly... You'd never be confident or happy with a spouse like that.

[hahahmm]

Ask yourself what is it that he could do to you that would be so horrible that you would tell him, "either stop this now or I'm leaving" and mean it. Then you start treating him calling you ugly as if it was the other horrible thing (in your mind). Then you will be able to set and maintain an actual boundary. If you're incapable of this nobody can help you.

[Bricealan]

I think this is a bogus question, but if not... I can only wonder why you would marry a horses ass like that?

[Asker]

This is not fake. We have kids and doesn't accept the idea that I want to leave him

[Asker]

I meant he doesn't accept the idea of me leaving him

[riverrat3]

You need to rid yourself of the toxin he is feeding you

[Asker]

You mean leaving him?

[riverrat3]

Yes, run fast

[Asker]

I hope it is that easy. Thanks though

[riverrat3]

It will not be easy, but his poison is hurting you

[Fromdusktilldawn]

lmao why are you even with him? Divorce that guy!

[Anonymous]

Face the truth even if it's hurt your butt.

[Asker]

What do you mean?