Is it reasonable for someone to be offended cause you talked to there girlfriend at work (waitress ) ?

[Anonymous]

i've had this happen more than a few times around here as i go to a lot of restaurants / bars and talk to a lot of the female staff. so often there boyfriends will get offended if they find out i talked to them ( at there work ) and in most cases if not all i only talked to them when they were working and serving me as i wouldn't of even seen them anywhere else here.

to me it seems kind of unreasonable cause i had only talked to them through there work and even if i did find them attractive there wasn't any reason for me to believe it was anything else other than a friendly chat at work. and its sort of the nature of the industry , no guy is going to leave big tips if the server ignores them and there not even allowed to have a conversation with them at there place of work.

[Oliverlogan263]

Man, that's a touchy situation. On one hand, I can kinda get why a boyfriend might feel a little funny if some other dude was chatting up his girl while she's at work. Territory thing, ya know?

But at the same time, like you said - she's just doing her job being friendly. And it ain't like you're hitting on her hard or asking for her number. A casual convo at the restaurant ain't nothing to get all bent outta shape about.

If I was the boyfriend, I'd try to trust that she's gonna keep it professional. As long as you're just being cool and polite, ain't nothing wrong with shooting the breeze with the waitstaff a bit. These dudes need to relax!

Maybe have an honest chat with the girl if her man's givin' you static, let her know you mean no disrespect. Chicks tend to see through dude drama pretty quick. You're just tryna grab a bite, not start nothin. They'll get over it, bro.

[i_am_an_engineer]

Those boyfriends are possessive and weirdos…

[Asker]

i know a lot of them tended to be jock type who played hockey or similar sports for some reason , they always seemed to take offense to it despite the fact they were better looking then me and obviously had better dating options in this area if they were able to get the girl they were with who often would of been fairly good looking if she was a server at a restaurant in town

[Asker]

i also feel maybe its more of a small town thing , as if i had talked to some girl who worked in a restaurant in a larger city who boyfriend would likely not even know who i was. or pay as much attention to such a thing.
not sure why around here it seemed to be such an issue for them , as there girlfriend made good money serving and its part of her job to be friendly and talk to people right?

[i_am_an_engineer]

Right

[Asker]

i realise if i had expectations of something more or asked for personal info like phone #'s then i'd have crossed a line , but if i simply maintained a casual friendship with them and didn't have any ideas that it become anything outside the restaurant they really shouldn't of been offended

[Asker]

and part of the problem too is the owners/managers of these places specifically hired these girls cause they were so attractive , the one place doesn't even have any male servers not 1 single one so you can quickly see the owner has a thing for hiring attractive younger women.

so its not exactly my fault for finding them attractive when they were specifically hired by an owner who only wants hot girls working the floor at his restaurant